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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a 15 month old ds. I keep him inside all day, every day unless we are doing arrends. It's simply to hot out here and on our property there isn't one tree for shade. Even if we went out in the blazing heat there wouldn't be anything to do. We have a huge backyard but no baby equipment put out yet. It's just dead grass. Am I horrible for doing this? Most days we will go outside later in the evening when its cooler. I just feel so guilty because we live in a basement apartment that has no windows in the living room (bedrooms and bathroom are the only rooms with windows). I dont have a car and the area isn't the best to walk alone in.
 

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Sunlight is good, even if it's just a few minutes a day. It helps the body keep from getting rickets. Also, helps with depression.
I, too, understand not wanting to go out with the heat and living in a place that is not exactly 'safe'.
 

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How about going out fairly early in the morning? I've heard that sun in the morning can be important for setting the body clock -- so like 7 or so, just for a quick walk around, and then back in when it gets too hot? (And I suspect that a lot of the icky people aren't up then!)

If you do go out in the evening, then I wouldn't be too concerned. The real problem is going to be in 6 months or so when toddling around the yard isn't doing it for him anymore, and he wants a destination, like a park!

To be honest, it's really important to me to have my kids outside and exploring every day. But then, I don't have to worry about the neighborhood, so I've not been in your shoes. Your first job is to keep your baby safe -- so the question is, is it really unsafe to be out?

Any chance of moving to a place where you feel safer? More comfortabe being outside?
 

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Could you go out early in the morning before it heats up? Don't worry about the lack of "equipment" - a 15mo doesn't need a lot of toys. Try starting a container garden or just kicking a ball around - or get a kiddie pool!! IME, toddlers just want to run and explore things. Any new activity outdoors will be fun for him. DS was content waiving a stick around for about 15 minutes last night
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
this place is pretty safe. The problem is that I met a rapist the one time I went for a walk to de-stress. He followed me home (to where I currently live) and now Im too scared. When I have family with me its not a big deal. I'm home alone all day with my son so anything to keep me calm helps.
I could go out in the early morning with him before family leaves for work. The problem is he doesn't wake up until 8:30 which I love. By then everyone has left. Maybe I should just get us on a 7am schedule????...
 

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i think you should get a baby pool and take him out to play in that. If he is wet, it wont be so hot.

even a bucket of water works well
 

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I would go insane if I couldn't go outside at least twice a day with DS!!! Even on his most... challenging days, outside-time calms him, focuses him, diffuses restless energy...

I understand how nice it is to have a late-sleeping baby, but it sounds like it would be worth it to adjust your DS's schedule to get in at least a little walk in the morning. I know from experience that an adjustment like that is really harder on us moms than our toddlers...


Could you get a kiddie pool going? You could get a beach umbrella to shade it allowing you to stay out even later into the day....

We have very few toys for DS, but he does very well with a couple balls, some small sticks and, yes, dead grass.
 

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Could you get one of those gazebo awning things for the backyard? Then you could put a kiddie pool or sandbox under there and play with him in the shade. I agree with the pps that I would go crazy if I couldn't take my kids outside at least 1-2 times per day. Even when it's raining we play on the porch just to get some change of scenery
 

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I think its fine that you only go out in the evenings when its cooler, as long as for the most part, during the day you are doing interesting and engaging activities inside.
 

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I think it is important for your child to be outside in nature and to get that vitamin D from sunlight. I live in Little Rock, so I understand the Hell HEAT. Try 104 several days last week. Ugh. I suggest a kiddie pool and lots of HOSE play. I let DS (15 months) play with the hose. I put it on a slow trickle and he thinks it is great and gets wet. I also have a little slide for him, which you can get cheap-o at a garage sale or wal-mart.
 

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My kids usually go out after it cools down in the eves (but it actually does cool down here.)
I dunno, there are times in the winter when we don't go out much, and the kids are okay. I try to do something outside maybe every other day, even if it's quick. But they still get lots of running around time inside! Can you take him to the mall (bookstore?) or maybe a toy store...just for the change of scenery?
 

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Can you get an umbrella in addition to all the other suggestion from PPs. How about public transportation to a museum. That ia what we do when it too hot outside, an airconditioned ride to more air conditioning. Going out in the evening as the sun sets is good too.
 

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We live in a really hot place too..we go out several times a day, fo rvery short times. Like go blow bubbls int eh yard for 10 minutes, go back in to cool off. Evenings are good becaus eit cools off enough to be slightly more bearable. I don't know, we don't get tons of outdoor time either. I know it's important but I worry about overheting, and sunburn. So whileI might say it'd be good to make a bit of effort to ge tout a bit more, I understand. It's hard.
 

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Lock the house when you go outside so nobody can go in while you are out. Take a portable phone or cell phone outside with you so you can call for help if needed. You might want to bring a whistle to blow also ... just something I remember from some safety program back in high school. Blowing a loud whistle gets attention and scares away an attacker, or something like that.

Sidewalk chalk, bubbles, balls, kiddie pools ... all great suggestions. You can even just bring out a snack and explore the yard for a bit.
 

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What about a playgroup or music class at the library or community center? Our town has many free groups. This would get you and the babe out of the house, still in cool place and you'll be with others. I think it would be very hard to stay inside and play 1-on-1 with a 15 month old all day, every day.

For yard play you really don't need equipment -- $5 plastic pool; buckets of water and smaller cups for pouring fun; a simple plastic ball to kick, roll and sit on; bubbles.

Other thoughts/resources: local LLL group; WIC; church; library; early intervention through school/town. Make some calls and tell what you are looking for and you will gather info and eventually find some great alternatives to home.

I would personally also call the police and just say that you are home during the day, this rapist followed you home and you do not feel safe. You need to make them aware.
 

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We live in sunny, hot & humid S. Fla. and it's rarely a palatable day down here until the fall. I get ds out for walks across the street to the plaza where we can pop in & out of A/c as needed, we'll just take a quick walk on the condo grounds and I'll get him out to the pool either in the morning or late afternoon. If it's really unbearable, we'll make a trip out to the mail box bank. Just do what you can and I second the posters who suggest getting a netted tent thingy and you can put a little pool in there, etc. Or is there any way to create a shady area in your yard? I know how tough it can be when you don't have access to a car during the day. Hang in there and do the best you can.
 

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I know what you mean about the heat. If it is too hot to go outside, I try to get ds out either in the early morning, or in the evening after it starts cooling off.

Kids can find their own fun without equipment. In fact, that encourages creativity and self-initiative...it's great for them. ds wanders through the yard, picks grass (our grass is all dried up right now too, as we don't water in the summer in order to conserve, and we do have a number of dandelions...but who cares, ds doesn't mind), watches the leaves on the trees blow, etc. Soon, he'll probably get interested in insects. He also enjoys watering the flowers with me (and playing in the sprinkler), and will play in the dirt of the flower bed as I weed. He likes to go out back and pound on and try to shake the fence as well.

We do keep some bubbles and bubble wands outside (and inside too), and sometimes blow bubbles. He has a tricycle (he can't reach the peddles yet, but it has a bar for an adult to push him with), and he uses (and loves) that some of the time but often is just as happy wandering around doing his own thing. He also has a "truck" to push and a big outdoor ball, but he doesn't use it much. Again, he makes his own fun.

If you aren't comfortable taking walks, would you feel comfortable taking a bus...maybe riding to a park? Or if there is some place in your town to hike with your toddler.

ds would get stir-crazy being inside all day. He really enjoys being outside, and of course, there are all the benefits mentioned above. The first thing he does every morning is walk to the back door, let our dogs out, and follow them out to play. He prefers that we go outside for short periods multiple times a day, and go to the park at least once if not two or three times each day. Sometimes I feel guilty because even mild heat really gets to me so I find myself avoiding having him go out...but I always try to get him out for at least twenty minutes or so every day. Sometimes I get stir-crazy, and then we can spend most of our waking hours out, as long as it isn't too hot.
 

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Are you broke or do you have transportation issues? Are you in an urban or rural area?

I'm going out on a limb, here, but I am going to take the risk of possibly offending you by asking a stupid question. One of my best friends had a relatively common condition where she developed a phobia about going out of the house, at all, ever. She waited until people were gone before she got her mail, and so forth. She said she had a little bit of it all of her life, then, for about six months, it got really intense. If there is any possibility you might have something like that going on, it is relatively easy to treat. If you have a stalker, that should be taken seriously. If you have something else going on, that should also be taken seriously, but in a different way. If you do have the phobia thing, the first step is to just admit this to your self and then to pm me so I can help you hunt for resources in your community.

But let's just assume that I am totally off in that hunch, and turn to practical stuff you can do in suffocating, sweltering, dangerous heat.

I live in Texas, and I'm right there with ya! We are used to it, lived here all my life, so we have all sorts of strategies for dealing with the heat. Find a way to get out of the house, check out the nearby pools, get a wading pool, or just turn on the sprinkler.

If you don't have shade, you can create shade with a cheap umbrella on clearance, or go to freecycle. In fact, for all of this stuff, check out freecycle and the huge clearance sales going on right now. Get on the bus and take rides in the air conditioning. It doesn't have to be expensive, but just concentrate on water, water, water. I spend at least TWO HOURS A DAY in the front yard most days in the hottest time of the day (over 100 - 104 not couting the heat index) with my girls.

My secret involves a cheap simple sprinkler, sand and water table, kiddie pool, sandbox, and about a dozen plastic animals we got at Walmart
for 88 cents each). I often spice up the sand and water table with pretty rocks or table salt. I also splurge and pick up bubbles and water balloons from time to time. We tried the slip and slide, and the kids love it, but my husband really hated that slip and slide bitterly for some reason so I gave it up.

My daughters, ages 2 and 4 can entertain themselves like that all day, and I always end up getting wet, too, so I stay cool. I take my cordless phone to chat unless they get in the kiddie pool, when I have to concentrate and watch them really closely. We have two kids, so we have a Y connector so each girl has her own hose, or we have a sprinkler and a hose. We just move the location around the yard so the whole yard gets watered. If you are in the blazing sun, use sunscreen or get in the shadow of the house.

Also, we do this in the front yard and therefore we are never isolated. Just set up a sprinkler and a couple of lawn chairs in your front yard and kids you never knew existed will show up.

Again, I hope I have not insulted you by suggesting the possibility that you might have that phobia thing. Have a great summer!
 

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Not to be acting like a medical person, but it sounds like you're sufferring from some post traumatic stress. You were terribly harmed, but you can feel safer again. I don't think it's in your best interest (or the baby's) to stay in the basement all day. I would lovingly encourage you to call someone. You might call a crisis line, or a woman's center and ask them for some names of people to talk with. Tell them you are afraid to go out at all & that you have a baby. They may have someone who can see you at little to no cost. You have to take care of you.

Good luck!
 

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I feel guilty about keeping DS inside so much, but he just doesn't do well in the heat and sun. Other than errands, we just go out in the evening, when it's cooler, but when the sun is still up. Also, when it's rainy (like today) we play outside as much as possible. In fact, that's what we're going to go do right now!

I wish we could play outside all day, every day but I think DS would end up with heatstroke and skin cancer!
 
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