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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need some advice. Don't know why I am thinking about this at 2am. Well, I do: I am pregnant and cant sleep b/c i'm starving and had to pee. so maybe after i get this off my chest i can relax.<br><br>
I will say that I have never posted here before. We don't spank, but i don't know if we are gentle. We use a time out where Jason has to sit in my lap for two minutes b/c otherwise he can't calm himself down and move on to something safer than the offending activity. I give him a warning for timeout, so maybe that is a threat? And I swore I would never use bribes, but I did for potty training. He was almost there...just having one accident a day and it worked. He got a new car matchbox car for staying clean and dry for a few days in a row. I read <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Kids Are Worth It!</span> but didn't really get it. Some of the things on this forum are so out here to me that I just can't lurk here. Mainly, Jason is not allowed to do some of the things that are posted here like take forever to get strapped into his carseat or refuse diaper changes and such. Sometimes I have to make him do things b/c it just seems necessary. So...I really want help, but please be kind to me. I am asking for help! Please...be gentle!!! I will keep an open mind.<br><br>
So one of the problems we have (he is two by the way) is being crazy in the apartment. The neighbors hate it b/c they say they can hear him jumping and runnning. And the worst part is that it is dangerous. He will hurt himself running into something, falling off the couch, stepping on a toy to the point he needs his mama for a few minutes. Then he will get up and do it again! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I ask him not to. I try to get on his level. I try a firm voice. I try whispering it instead. But sometimes I do have to put him in time out just so he can calm down. He doesn't really hate it and it does work at least temporarily. Like it helps him stop. But tomorrow he will do it for sure. I don't know how to distract him really. I have terrible morning sickness. I play with him as much as he can. But sometimes I really need to sit down and eat. Or just rest b/c i feel so sick. So maybe he does it for attention. I know tonight was bad b/c I babysat for two friends who were desperate for help, and there were lots of kids here. But he loved it and they played great? But it was hard on me b/c there was a baby here and I feel exhausted. I guess he wants attention and of course he is TWO years old...crazy age, but fun <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
So I am just wondering what more I can do to fix this. I want him to go outside and wear himself out but he doesn't want to. He likes to sit around and push his cars on the floor and once he gets involved he doesn't want to stop. I have MADE him get dressed and go outside before b/c we had to take the rent check or a bill to the mailbox. That is very difficult b/c he is heavy and I have to chase him down to dress him. Then when we get out there he loves it and never wants to come in. We have a little balcony that we can run around and jump on. He might do that for 20 minutes at a time but I can't really do that at 9pm, kwim? Tomorrow I have to go to the grocery store and that will take half our day it seems. It is going to wipe me out and I know he is going to be crazy with energy when we get home. But I have to get food b/c I'm sooo hungry and the food around here is getting down to the bare bones.<br><br>
We do watch tv. I don't know if that helps or makes it worse. We mainly watch it while we are eating and then we play (with the exception of the family meal- but snacks are definately in the living room and the tv is probably on). In the mornings it might be pbs while we have our snacks (and we have a lot of snacks!), but in the afternoon it is something i like that he is less interested in. In the evening my husband watches a show. We have talked about it and more and more, it is something like Home and Garden TV which is not as interesting to a 2 year old as say, the simpsons. yikes! He does eat lots of fruit and dried fruit which maybe the sugar makes him crazy too? but he needs to eat it! he won't eat 5-6 servings of veggies so he does need to eat some fruits for the fiber.<br><br>
He really is a great kid, but we would be so less stressed if we could work on this. Any ideas? And do other kids do this? Like I said, please be gentle. I'm sure we all do things differently, but I know we all care about our kids and are doing the best we know how. THANKS!
 

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I am not sure what advice to give you...he's 2 and 2 year olds have bundles of energy...your neighbour may just have to suck it up.<br><br>
If it wasn't bothering your neighbour would it bother you? Because I think it's unreasonable to expect a 2 year old not to want to run and jump and play.<br><br>
Will you be evicted if he's not quiet?<br><br>
The reason I ask is that I find that I have most of my parenting issues, less patience when I know I am being judged by someone else. That tantrum in the grocery store is way harder on me than the one in the living room because I worry what others think.<br><br>
Now that I realise it I am better at dealing with it.<br><br>
It sounds like you are doing everything you can. If you could get him outside more and not give him any sugar treats then I am sure he is at a natural energy level for him.<br><br>
Supervise carefully and let him go.<br><br>
Oh..and as to the going outside..it's probably the transitioning he's objecting to not being outside. My dd hates transition but loves the change after it's done. She should have been a genie...blink and the transition is done.<br><br>
Enjoy him...he sounds fun.<br><br>
I remember someone said to me when I joined a gym once..."our parents spend our entire childhood telling to be still and then we get fat and we have to relearn how to move again".<br><br>
I try not to stifle my children's natural energy because of that.
 

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IMO I wouldn't worry about it, he sounds like a typical boy. I mean jumping and running thats normal and I sure wouldn't want to stifle that as I would be afraid that could turn a child into a couch potato.<br><br><br>
I think your neighbor might need to take a chill pill. I mean if a person doesn't like the typical every day sounds of apartment living maybe they should get a house <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">
 

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Hi there. I read your post yesterday but didn't reply, because I was trying to come up with something helpful for you.....<br><br>
...but I couldn't think of much! My 25-month-old is (as his Nana calls him) "perpetual motion". He's always on the go....running, jumping, spinning, hopping, dancing...his enthusiasm is contagious, and I love him oodles for it!!<br><br>
Having said that, if we were in an apartment, I would also probably be looking for some solutions to not drive the neighbors batty.<br><br>
Getting outside more would be great - I am SO looking forward to springtime when we can spend more time outside...and I understand about the transition. I usually give DS a couple "head's up" like, "OK, after this whatever, it's goign to be time to get ready and go outside to play!" sounding very enthusiastic about it....and if he grumbles, I try to make the best of it because I know he loves it once we're there. Then, same thing for back inside - 'One more walk along the pavers, then it's time to go inside!" and then make it as fun as possible to go inside (carry him upside down, etc....I'm 25 weeks pregnant, so I know it's not easy lugging a 30-pound kid around, but I do what I have to).<br><br>
We bought DS a trampoline with a handlebar for his birthday and he LOVES it....he can burn a lot of energy on that thing, satisfies a BIG need to jump around without being so noisy maybe...or maybe a twin mattress on the floor? He could run and jump, etc. on that and it would absorb some of the noise...<br><br>
Maybe talk to your neighbors, saying you understand and want to try to make things better - maybe there's a particular time span that bugs them the most, and you could try to get him out then, or at least you sympathizing with them and askign for their input wqould make them feel better about it...but I do agree with PP that they do need to do a certain amount of "suck it up" sinc ehe's a kid and they are adults.<br><br>
What I DON'T think you should do, though, is stifle his energy in any way (I'm not saying that you are, just making a point) - he apparently needs to get it out, and the exercise is soooo good for him. It's also TOTALLY NORMAL, so don't feel like you are the only one. Kids are so different; one can be happy sitting reading books or doing puzzles for hours (I was one of those), another may need to be constantly on the move - it's all normal, and our job is to honor their natural tendencies and help them develop.<br><br>
Hope this helps some, or at least heps you realize you're not alone with your little bundle of energy!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
wow these are all great responses. i really appreciate the support.<br><br>
the thing that bothers me the most is that he does things that are dangerous. jumps OFF the ARM of the couch. RUNS and hits his head hard on things. i really have to encourage him to pick up his toy b/c then he steps on one doing his "circles" and gets hurt.<br><br>
i'm going to do a combo of two things. going to get him out more. i am taking him to the mall play area today to run around. later he can jump on the porch all he wants too. he will probably take a short nap in the car so tonight i can enjoy an early bedtime when i'm feeling my worse.<br><br>
second, my girlfriends suggestion: i'm going to keep lots of books by my chair. so when i am not feeling well at least we can read some books. i think partly he is doing it for attention b/c last night he was CRAZY after begging me to play and i said i just didn't feel well. i do play with him lots so i don't feel bad taking a few mins to sit down. i think he will be interested in reading the books.<br><br>
and by the way, he is fun. a great kid all around. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
thanks everyone!
 

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Emma is a go go go kind of kid, and she's a girl, and she has all the attention she could want from a stay at home mom and a dad whose mom 4 days a week...but she still runs and climbs all over the house, and we live on half an acre, she still does the same stuff outside. I don't buy for a second that it's about wanting attention, I think some kids are athletically inclined, and that's why they'll do dangerous things over and over, not being too afraid of getting hurt is a positive attribute of athletes who often push themselves to painful ends to complete marathons/weight lifting stuff/touchdowns/homeruns/gymnastics feats etc, they practise over and over, hurting themselves frequently, but pressing on until they master what they are trying to do. Your son is acting like a very healthy 2 yr old, it is apartment living that is the problem, and possibly a lifestyle that is not active enough for him. He should not be afraid of hurting himself by your standards, he needs to learn for himself what his limits are, all toddlers and kids get lots of bumps and bruises, that's normal childhood stuff! If you can afford to I'd recommend signing him up for toddler gymnastics classes, take him to gymboree, take him for regular jaunts into the woods and to outdoor playgrounds etc, give him outlets to let off steam, and adjust your expectations to understand that he is being very normal. Whether or not you want him jumping on furniture is up to you, but if not, and he is such an action packed tot, you rreally should give him opportunities to climb and fall and jump and even hurt himself sometimes, as much as you can.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">the thing that bothers me the most is that he does things that are dangerous. jumps OFF the ARM of the couch. RUNS and hits his head hard on things. i really have to encourage him to pick up his toy b/c then he steps on one doing his "circles" and gets hurt.</td>
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Imo those really arent dangerous except for the running head into stuff. Thats how they learn IMO.<br><br>
Relaxe and let him be a boy
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Soundhunter</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If you can afford to I'd recommend signing him up for toddler gymnastics classes, take him to gymboree, take him for regular jaunts into the woods and to outdoor playgrounds etc, give him outlets to let off steam, and adjust your expectations to understand that he is being very normal. Whether or not you want him jumping on furniture is up to you, but if not, and he is such an action packed tot, you rreally should give him opportunities to climb and fall and jump and even hurt himself sometimes, as much as you can.</div>
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ITA. As much as it pained me initially, I finally started to let go and let him hurt himself. My only big "NO" right now is climbing over the BACK of the futon, which is about 4 feet off the ground...that's a break your neck kind of thing, which I frown upon. BUT, jumping off the arm of the futon, jumping from his trampoline onto the recliner, sliding headfirst on his belly down the steps instead of walking, stomping on a toy while spinning, I just had to let go. It's not easy, but it had to be done because otherwise he'd be a mess of energy with no outlet....and he is great (aside from his over-the-back-of-the-futon obsession <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) at knowing the limits of his body and balance...sure, he has bruises and scrapes in his legs at almost all times. But his balance is amazing and he can shimmy up almost anything! I think once he got to be about 18 months, I realized he needed to start to learn his own limits...so now I only intervene if it could result in serious injury, like unconsciousness or a huge, gushing blood cut.
 

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I don't think it would have been possible to keep ds from running or jumping when he was two. One thing that worked amazingly well when I was sick and just wanted to lie on the couch was a remote controlled car. Ds would run around chasing it, putting things in it's path, etc while I controlled it. Just an idea if you get desparate and reading isn't working (Ds only wanted to read IF I was nursing him when he was two).
 

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My daughter is two and loves to climb and jump on things. She loves jumping while standing on the table, jumping on the bed or couches. She isn't jumping <b>off</b> of things as much as she used to, although she still likes to jump down stairs. When she was jumping off, she liked jumping onto other piece of furniture, most notably the coffee table, and I didn't care for that so much.<br><br>
My girls used to go visit their friends at their house, and all the kids would stand in a line and run up onto the couch, jumping off the arm onto a big bean bag kind of chair. Kids seem to like to have targets to jump onto, so maybe you could encourage him to jump onto a pile of pillows or dirty laundry or something if you are worried about the noise.<br><br>
My kids also have enjoyed jumping on a mini jogger type of trampoline, and I ended up getting one because I was tired of the bed being used for that purpose since the bed is not in such great shape anymore.
 
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