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Adam is 28 months and is not at all interested in using his potty. We have read numerous books, watched videos etc. and nothing has really worked in getting him to practice. He has his little potty chair and knows exactly what it is for because he has no problem telling you but if we ask if he wants to use it he says "Nope" and runs to hide. We backed off because we didn't want to push him and at every opportunity we try to tell him what mommy or daddy are doing and he is definately curious. I know that boys do take longer at times, but I wonder "how long"? because let's just say that things are going into that diaper that are horrific and would be much better flushed away. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Another concern is that I know we are supposed to watch for a pattern and then take him to the toilet to encourage him but he doesn't seem to have a specific time of day and just goes when he feels like it. Lately he will tell us when he has gone and ask to have his diaper changed which may be a good sign? Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
 

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No advice or ideas. My guy is 33 months and isn't trained either. If he's agreeable to sitting on the toilet, he pees in it; if he's not then he just stiffens and/or gets off and nothing will make him stay on it. I would SO love to stop changing his diapers, poops especially but he's not ready or willing. He wears cloth pull-ups at daycare and goes relatively well there but she takes all the kids at once at regular intervals and so I think it's more of a "it's not so bad because everyone else is doing it too" thing. He doesn't care about gummy bears, stickers, special books, or anything else I've tried.<br><br>
I've moved a few weeks ago and once I get my sewing room put together I'm going to make him some more pull-ups, some non-waterproof trainers for home, and some flannel pocket diapers and fleece or wool covers for night. I know if I keep the sposies for night time and tell him we don't have any more for daytime he'll just say, "Yes, you do!"<br><br>
I know my son will train when he's ready and that he's really not behind, especially as far as boys seem to go, but it sure would be nice to be done with diapers.
 

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my dd is almost 3.5, she has absolutely zero interest. She hides behind the speaker to poop (in her diaper) I think if she can go behind the speaker everytime why can't she sit on the damn potty?<br>
But i don;t push it.
 

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DS1 didn't have any interest in learning until about 35 mo. Then it took about 4 months (?) to get to pooping on the potty - pee only at first. He never has accidents. He is still really reluctant to poop, and I think he always has been, we just notice it more now that he's doing it on the potty. He will avoid pooping for days. Anyway, I'm getting OT.<br><br>
DS2 is very interested - though not consistently - at 16 mo! They're all different. Good luck!
 

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I just think they potty learn when they're ready. So if your child isn't going to learn until he's 3, and you start now, it'll take another 8 months. But if you wait until he's ready (mine ds was 3 1/2), it'll take a week. At least that's been my experience.
 

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My DS is 30 months and we are still working on it. He has used the toilet before, is able to tell when he needs to go, but still doesn't use the toilet more than once or twice a day. He is capable and ready, but not too motivated. I don't like using rewards, but I have caved in and we started using a sticker chart today. He will get little "prizes" like Matchbox cars when he uses the potty 3, 7, 10, 15... times. We'll see how it goes.<br><br>
I think it is a good sign that he is telling you when he needs a diaper change. My DS just started doing this last month.<br><br>
This is something I am working on too, but I read that you shouldn't ask a toddler if they need to use the potty. They will usually say no because they don't want to interrupt their play. We have started saying "time for a potty break" to DS at regular intervals. DH or I stop whatever is going on and go to the bathroom with him, and will use the toilet first. Then we give DS a chance.
 

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My son is 27 months and we've also been reading books, and sitting on the potty when he wants to. He is far from trained. We are in month one of what I expect to be perhaps, maybe, a year of potty learning. I think that is normal when you start this young. But what he has really liked is deciding for himslef whan he is going to go potty in his diaper and when he is going to use the potty. So we just talk about pee-pee and poopies as things you can do in the potty or in your diaper and then when he wants he sits on the potty and really seems to enjoy it.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">I just think they potty learn when they're ready. So if your child isn't going to learn until he's 3, and you start now, it'll take another 8 months. But if you wait until he's ready (mine ds was 3 1/2), it'll take a week. At least that's been my experience.</div>
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This has been my experience too, I have gone through this with 3 boys so far. I started to potty train the first two when I was ready, it took about 2 years before they were completely potty trained. With my 3rd, he told me he wanted to use the potty right before his 3rd birthday, I said ok, whatever, he was potty trained and never had an accident again after a week. So, as much as you are tired of changing diapers, it is much easier to wait until they want to. At this age, everything is a power struggle, this is one struggle that we as parents will never win.
 

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Do you feel ready to teach? How do you see your role? What is your preference? Who else has to do this with you? (Spouse? Daycare? Grandparents?) What are their preferences in supporting you in this?<br><br>
If you feel ready to teach... What about just going?<br><br>
Try the wake up times and just take him to sit for a count of 5 or 10. No pressure to perform. Just sit, count to 5, and get off. You are just providing a potty opportunity. It's up to him to take it or not, but the wake up time is an easy catch. So is the 15-20 min after eating. Your child probably has his own cues -- looking glassy, scritching at pants, etc. Or if you want to go time based, just do that. Go every hour on the hour, and as the child gets it you can stretch it to 2 hrs, 3 hrs, just when the child tells you it is time, etc.<br><br>
Toilets aren't something they know to use instinctively. You don't have to come down heavy handed in teaching its use, but at the same time... IME just letting it go "until they are ready" just makes it harder in the long run.<br><br>
Your mileage may vary but here's my experience... (I don't write this to start a debate, but to tell you my feelings both as a parent teaching 1 and as a caregiver teaching many at the same time.)<br><br>
The initial instinct is to eliminate and then get away from it like all animals do. By diapering, we've made it so babies CAN'T get away from it. It is easier for the parent to clean up, but we've overridden the initial instinct if care wasn't taken to preserve it.<br><br>
Having done both types (EC and toddler training), I think the sooner the better. They are ready to learn any time you are ready to teach. Providing "toilet opportunities" as just part of the daily routine makes it easier for them to just accept. Like you accept that bath time happens in the bathroom, eating happens at the table, in the car you have to sit in the car seat, etc.<br><br>
When I worked daycare, working with the ECing babies or toddlers under 2 was easier. (Our daycare just supports whatever the parent wants to be doing so it matches their home life.)<br><br>
I like it better when they are smaller, lighter to pick up, less fussy. The don't kick me. They don't hit. To them it's just "Oh, what's this new thing then?" Due to size, they won't be completely independent because they cannot reach the sink to wash hands or may have trouble getting dressed after. But I find it a lot easier to just help with putting clothes back on and washing hands than dealing with diapering. I also find it easier to give younger ones potty opportunities because they get used to it even if it hasn't yet clicked. When it is time to visit the potty, it's just "Oh, ok. That again? Sure." We're in, count to 5 slowly and we're out.<br><br>
We also EC'd our own and left the bulky diaper bag behind at a little over 18 mos. Since 18 mos, it's just been her claiming one more responsibility and ours letting her take it on. DD is now 3 1/2. She can take the clothes off and put it back on. She can wipe a pee but not a poo. She can wash hands at the tub and pull a towel down to dry, but not yet reach to hang it up. So no... she's still not totally done from A to Z, but I find it a lot easier to just keep a hand towel on the tub edge and come wipe her when she yells she's done making a poo.<br><br>
Dealing with the 2-3+ year old crowd toddler training at daycare was a pain. Once they get bigger and more involved in their play ... it can become a struggle. They are heavier to pick up, put up a fuss when taken away from their play if potty opportunities wasn't established as a routine early on, and can start using the pee/poo as punishment. They either hold it in or start putting it in inappropriate places to spite you because you're trying to change the rules on them. You've also spent all that time and money on diaper choice management -- whether it's disposable or cloth in the meanwhile.<br><br>
You endure personalities. We carry out what the parents want and try to be supportive and non-judgemental... but argh... inside the privacy of my own head I would secretly <i>hate</i> it. Every hour on the hour... there we went. One boy I had was a screamer and kicker. I had daily bruises from him. One little girl was a drama queen -- sobbing and going boneless on the floor. Another one was a run and hider. One was a stripper, and if you saw him naked you had to go hunt down where he put the soiled diaper to dispose of it and make sure some other kid wasn't going to get into it or it wasn't going to be lost and go... funky smelling to announce it's hiding place!<br><br>
And I can't blame them. From the child's perspective... "If letting it out in my pants was ok before, why <i>isn't</i> it ok now? You are inconviniencing me!"<br><br>
And while I'd never tell a parent this, I just hated when they would allow the child to grow so big and THEN ask us to just "take them on the hour every hour or something" because "we're just tired of the diaper thing" and leave us to take the brunt of it. Thanks a lot for fobbing the responsibility off on us! You didn't want to take the time to teach the one you've got when it was easy and they were little and compliant, so now *I've* got to teach 5 or 6 at once when it is harder and they are angry about it!<br><br>
Know what my day becomes with the older set? It's not a few minutes of 5-6 little babies and toddlers sitting on the potty happily for a count of 5 and then 50 minutes interacting with them in other ways with games and stories and things before we do it again.<br><br>
It's up to 10 minutes of shennanigans per bigger toddlers/preschoolers and by the time I get the last kid done, it's time to start over with the first one! 8 solid non-stop hours of my day with potty antics!<br><br>
I always wonder why couldn't the parents just establish potty opportunities earlier at home or ask for potty training help from us sooner at daycare if they were unsure of what to do?<br><br>
They are only putting off the inevitable and it's sooo much easier to teach what potty is for when they are younger, and then just support their physical dressing and washing up skills as they grow into them.<br><br>
HTH!<br><br>
A.
 

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We ask DS (30 months), and he will say if he needs to go. We take him then, and he's just now started telling us sometimes that he'd like to go. I know the books, songs, etc., are popular, but I'm not sure they'd make me want to go either! I think they're okay to do, though we don't, but I'm not sure that reading the books are going to make your child interested. DS saw a potty book at the bookstore. He opened it and then said, "ooo, stinky poop!" Then he put the book back. He clearly was repulsed by seeing someone pooping in a book. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Our problem is more our consistency that DS'. I had him bare-bottomed for a couple of days, and he didn't have any accidents. He told me when he had to go. Then we did undies. He was fine, then, but we traveled, so I put diapers back on him. Then it was like starting over. I think there has to be more consistency with learning to make it work.
 
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