Told him tonight (UPdated post 7)

845 Views 8 Replies 8 Participants Last post by Seasons, Apr 15, 2009

Freefromitall

Discussion Starter · Apr 6, 2009

UPDATE-Post #7

I told the H tonight that I am meeting w/a lawyer this week, to file for divorce.

I found out that the county financial/legal aid program did not accept my claim, so it will have to be out of mine, or rather...my parents' pocket. Which sucks. I mean, 24, in school, 2kids and have to rely on my parents? There's an ego boost, for sure.

H's reaction was less than I expected. He was upset, of course. But it was mostly verbal. My favorite part was when he accused me of going behind his back :eyeroll I think the worst part is that the last two weeks have been more or less smooth. I mean, I still *know* that it's what's best for me/us....b/c the smooth part never lasts. I just think I might feel less horrible if this weekend had been a horrible disaster. KWIM?

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Mama_Meghan

· #2 · Apr 6, 2009

Well first off. Good for you. You obviously realized this was not the right situation for you nor your family.

As for having to rely on your parents. I feel your pain. I had nowhere to go in the middle of the night when I left...and drove 2 hours to my mom and dads with my little one sleeping in the back. That was a month ago and I am still living with them. It is only a temporary fix...but nonetheless...not much of an ego boost no.

But I would keep trying for support/aid. Start calling up law offices and speak directly to lawyers...beg for help...you may be surprised what you might get. I know a girl who got a top notch lawyer for nothing.

I wish you luck. Keep us posted.

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SunShineSally

· #3 · Apr 6, 2009

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JustAnotherBrick

· #4 · Apr 6, 2009

you will be allright. i'm living with my parents and although i was determined to leave within a few years when i was pregnant.... i am now realizing that it is wonderful to have the support of your family. do whatever you can/need to get yourself back on your two feet.

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Amylcd

· #5 · Apr 6, 2009

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yarngoddess

· #6 · Apr 6, 2009

Hang in there momma! You KNOW you are doing the right thing! Stand in your truth- and be thankfull you have parents that can and are willing to help

It's not easy to ask for help- Good for you! I think it takes MORE courage to ask for and accept help from family...

Big Hugs!!!

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Freefromitall

Discussion Starter · #7 · Apr 15, 2009

He moved out. He's staying at his mother's.
It's very.....drama-y right now. I'm trying to keep the drama to a min. while the kids are up. Save it for after bed.

Nothing has actually been filed. He's given me the money to pay the bills for this month, and he's given me money for the kids. What he's given me so far is actually more than he would have to pay in CS at this point.
We worked out when he would see the kids for the next month. No overnights right now, b/c he's staying at his mom's, but he's keeping them on the afternoon/evenings I have class, and on Sundays.

He's asking that we go to the counselor that we each see individually, but go together (b/c we both trust her, and b/c she already knows the backstory from each of us) and sit down and talk about everything before we file for anything. He also asked that we "do it civilly without lawyers."
I agreed to sit down with Sue and him and discuss things, but told him 1)I'm not anticipating that this session will result in anything that will change my mind, and 2) that I was not comfortable handling it without a lawyer. I told him I'm not out to screw him over(which, I'm not) but that I have a history of letting him talk me into things I'm not entirely comfortable with(which, I do)

So. That's the current status of the drama.
I kind of feel like I'm caught in the midst of a bad novel or lifetime movie

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