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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, yesterday I told my stbx that I wanted a divorce. We have talked about it before, but this time it is really happening. I plan on calling a lawyer tomorrow to seek some advice. Here is a little background on me. I have one ds that is 8 and he is not my stbx's son. I have two other kids that we have together. My husband refuses to leave the house so I am stuck here with him until I can get legal advice. I have not worked in almost 4 years so I have no money of my own. And my stbx just informed me that he has taken all of the money out of our checking account and put it in another account where I can't get to it. So now I really don't have a penny to my name. What the hell am I supposed to do? My parents said that me and the kids could just move in with them until I get on my feet but I'm afraid to leave cause my stbx will probably accuse me of abandonment or something. I have been lurking for a long time so I know you mamas give some really good advice! How about some for me!!! Thanks!
 

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No advice (my stbx left me) but I'm sure that some of these fabulous mamas will have some good advice. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Alright, I know someone has got to have some advice or had experiences with this? Do I need to give you some more back ground info on our relationship or something?
 

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Go and live with your parents, since they're offering. Don't worry about it being seen as abandonment. I lived with my parents for the first 5 months I was on my own and it was immensely helpful (and a little annoying too - they have a very small house). It was good for me not to be alone, and it was great having support and help with my son. My ex was like yours, he refused to leave, so I did the leaving. I don't know where you are and what legally things are like, but your ex accusing you of abandonment, what exactly will that do? So long as it's not going to be custody issue, just leave.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks, I think I will do that. I know they will be a big support for me. I just feel bad because I know how stressful it's going to be on them to have 3 kids running round their house again! At least they will be at work all day.
 

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If it were me, I'd start looking for a job and hope that my parents could help out with babysitting the kids. I'd file for divorce as soon as I could. And no, I wouldn't leave the house until your lawyer tells you it's ok.<br><br>
So long as you keep things moving forward, it'll be over before you know it. And I would be willing to bet that you'd get the house and he'd have to leave. I'd also be willing to bet that you'll make a killing on child support and possibly even alimony (depending on how long you've been married). So, as a woman, it's in your best interest to file as soon as possible so that they can set up child support and give you some seed money to get back on your feet.
 

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I would talk to a lawyer before you move. Do you know approximately how much money was in the account? You are entitled to that money, so while he may have done that now, you will be able to get money back from him. A lawyer will be able to tell you everything you need to know and help you get what you need. It will not look favorably on a man who leaves his children with no money.<br><br>
Find out all your options before you make a move. Sometimes things can't be undone, so check everything out first.
 

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Agreed, talk to a lawyer, don't move.<br><br>
Vypros, she's unlikely to "make a killing" on c/s. C/s, even when the amount looks staggering to the NCP, seldom pays half the expenses of actually raising the kids in a reasonably safe environment with good food and enough square footage for everybody. Let alone all the "extras" which are somehow never really extra. Alimony will depend on where she lives but if she's only been home four years and she's reasonably young, it's not likely to be much and not likely to last long. If she has not got a healthy income of her own she may be awarded the house but it may be very difficult or impossible for her to pay for it.<br><br>
I would take this all very carefully, and OP, don't make any more announcements like that without getting your ducks in a row. Your husband is actually behaving rationally and doing the right things to protect himself. What you guys do next will have largely to do with whether you can both be reasonable and put the kids' interests first.
 
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