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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DH is always saying, why dont we sleep with him in our bed?

I would LOVE to except, I am too scared...

How do you successfully sleep with a 3 month old and covers on your bed?

Would love to try co-sleeping, but I am scared of SIDS...

Please inform.

TIA
 

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The stats show that co-sleeping is just as safe as crib sleeping for SIDS (or suffocation). The only times cosleeping is dangerous is when the adult is drunk. Mothers have a nature "radar" of knowing where their baby is, even in their sleep. Don't worry! We do not roll over our babies! In 3 1/2 years of co-sleeping I have NEVER rolled over my baby, NEVER had a scary moment, NEVER had the blankets smuggle them!! And I don't analyze it either. Somehow it just works out.

You could practice for naptimes until you comfortable. Nap with your baby at the breast, bring the covers to your tummy area (baby's chest area).

The book "The Family Bed" is really good.
 

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Agree with the PP. We tried naps first and that got me used to it. For covers, I pull them up to her waist, no higher. I dress in warm clothes so I don't freeze. The baby has the best seat in the house: snuggled up next to mommy, they stay warm all night! My DD is 4 months old, and we've been co-sleeping since about 1 month old. I've never really worried too much about covers because, as a mom, you are "in tune" to the baby. I notice I wake a lot during the night because she stirs of changes positions, or needs to nurse. However, I always get a good night's rest in spite of the frequent wakings.
 

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I'm also a little scared of cosleeping. I might have to slowly break into it like Gremlichita suggested- during naps and such.
Anybody ever used one of those Arm's Reach cosleepers? I'm considering getting one. (Baby's not due til April.)
 

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DD is 8w and we've been cosleeping since day 1. I use covers, but no comforter. I stick Ella up by my head and scooch down on the bed so I can pull them up to my neck, but they only cover her feet. I tried having the blankets around my waist, but I get cold and can't sleep. I was really paranoid the first few weeks, but after realizing my mama radar was working I'm much better.
 

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A co-sleeper is a good starting place, certainly better than a crib down the hall, but we didn't use ours too much, because we nursed side lying in bed and would always fall asleep together anyway. The main trick if you are nervous is to scrunch down so you are a little lower than your lo who is more at the top of the bed. Other good ideas are to use a sleep sack for the baby if you are in a cold climate or to also wear a warm to to sleep in (perhaps even with cutouts for your breasts for nursing, take an old long underwear shirt to cut up, etc.) so you don't have blankets up near your face. It is really nice for napping and for getting sleep early on, so don't be scared to try!
 

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DS (19 months) has always slept between DH and I. We just place him up near the top of the bed and DH and I sleep down a little lower. No problems with covers, rolling over the baby, etc.

We all sleep better when we're together.
 

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I felt a lot better after reading the info on Dr Sears' website in reagards to co-sleeping.

I've had 3 kids and they have slept with both parents and blankets from birth on. There is a state of consciousness, even when you are asleep, that happens when you are sleeping with your baby. There have been many times dh has reported that in a deep sleep I've put out my arm when he was rolling over (not onto baby but apparently I thought he might and I protected him/her).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
I felt a lot better after reading the info on Dr Sears' website in reagards to co-sleeping.

I've had 3 kids and they have slept with both parents and blankets from birth on. There is a state of consciousness, even when you are asleep, that happens when you are sleeping with your baby. There have been many times dh has reported that in a deep sleep I've put out my arm when he was rolling over (not onto baby but apparently I thought he might and I protected him/her).
: I can still wake from a dead sleep to stick an arm out over the covers if they might go over DS head.
 

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I was the same way...I have three kids and only started co-sleeping with my third (he just turned 2) and I really wish I'd done it with all of them! Plus you're really lucky that your DH is supportive!

I did a lot of reading and some of the things that I found to help me feel comfortable are from several sources like:

1. An excerpt from article by mother/baby sleep expert James J. McKenna:
For as far back as you care to go, mothers have followed the protective and convenient practice of sleeping with their infants. Even now, for the vast majority of people across the globe, "co-sleeping" and nighttime breast-feeding remain inseparable practices. Only in the past 200 years, and mostly in Western industrialized societies, have parents considered it normal and biologically appropriate for a mother and infant to sleep apart.
In the sleep laboratory at the University of California's Irvine School of Medicine, my colleagues and I observed mother-infant pairs as they slept both apart and together over three consecutive nights. Using a polygraph, we recorded the mother's and infant's heart rates, brain waves (EEGs), breathing, body temperature, and episodes of nursing. Infrared video photography simultaneously monitored their behavior.

We found that bed-sharing infants face their mothers for most of the night, and that mother and infant are highly responsive to each other's movements, wake more frequently, and spend more time in lighter stages of sleep than they do while sleeping alone. Bed-sharing infants nurse almost twice as often, and three times as long per bout, as they do when sleeping alone. But they rarely cry. Mothers who routinely sleep with their infants get at least as much sleep as mothers who sleep without them.

In addition to providing more nighttime nourishment and greater protection, sleeping with the mother supplies the infant with a steady stream of sensations of the mother's presence, including touch, smell, movement, and warmth. These stimuli can perhaps even compensate for the human infant's extreme neurological immaturity at birth.

Co-sleeping might also turn out to give some babies protection from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), a heartbreaking and enigmatic killer. (read more here:
http://www.naturalchild.com/james_mc...ime_story.html )

2. And there are a lot of articles on the Mother-Baby Behavioral SLeep Lab site (James McKenna's site) http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/mothering.html

On a personal note, once I brought the baby into our bed, I realized that all the negative bromides about not getting enough sleep with a baby in the house just didn't apply to us. Once we embraced co-sleeping, I felt a weight lift off of me...like I could just relax and do what felt right and natural. it was such a "duh" moment for me!
Anyway, whatever you decide, I wish you well!!
 

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Humans are mammals. Mammals are designed to sleep next to mama.

Cosleeping is the way we're designed. We're not designed to abandon our babies in sleep.

It's not tricky or dangerous. Just put the baby next to you and sleep.

-Angela
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by notwonamesalike View Post
DS (19 months) has always slept between DH and I. We just place him up near the top of the bed and DH and I sleep down a little lower. No problems with covers, rolling over the baby, etc.

We all sleep better when we're together.
this was what we did with dd too. I would wrap her up like a burrito and put a thin baby blanket under her and when she was done... i woke... needed to roll over ( i toss and turn a lot) id slide her up between our pillows more..... the blanket under her kept her from feeling the cold mattress.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
My greatest concern is that mt husband (a very deep) sleeper will roll over on our LO.

I have him sleeping in a co-sleeping bassinet next to our bed, and I wake up in panic that he is in bed with us and I have rolled over on him...I think I am just too scared...

Plus my sis is a pediatrican and she told me that people who co-sleep do have a higher risk of SIDS (she is a very crunchy ped as she calls herself, she believes in baby wearing, mimimizing vaccs, etc).

I'll give it a try maybe during a nap...

thanks ladies.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Peak View Post
My greatest concern is that mt husband (a very deep) sleeper will roll over on our LO.

I have him sleeping in a co-sleeping bassinet next to our bed, and I wake up in panic that he is in bed with us and I have rolled over on him...I think I am just too scared...

Plus my sis is a pediatrican and she told me that people who co-sleep do have a higher risk of SIDS (she is a very crunchy ped as she calls herself, she believes in baby wearing, mimimizing vaccs, etc).

I'll give it a try maybe during a nap...

thanks ladies.

If your husband is a deep sleeper, just put baby between you and the edge. Easy peasy


And ask your sis for stats.... And research cosleeping and James McKenna. His research showed that cosleeping could help prevent SIDS.

-Angela
 

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Once when I was very very tired (DS had been getting me up every 1/2 hour of the night for 2 weeks and DP works nights so no help) I woke up and found my leg was leaning on DS leg. I was petrified, but looking back it's one of those things I'm not even sure happened - could have been a dream - that probably doesn't make sense but we've all had those dreams when you wake thinking you have rolled on LO.

What I do (it's me and DS in a double) is put DS on one side and me on the other, I sleep wrapped up in the duvet anyway and DS sleeps in a Grobag (brilliant invention).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Humans are mammals. Mammals are designed to sleep next to mama.

Cosleeping is the way we're designed. We're not designed to abandon our babies in sleep.

It's not tricky or dangerous. Just put the baby next to you and sleep.

-Angela
this.

sometimes i actually think all the emphasis on "safe cosleeping" makes parents too afraid to do it, thinking it must be really hard to do it "right."

it's really not. the only safety stuff you need to be aware of, your commonsense and instincts will tell you. as far as covers, for a young baby, your instincts will tell you to keep the covers lower down on them, like about waist level or so. for an older baby/toddler like mine, heck, i pull the covers up to her ears if i want. she pulls them down if she wants them down.

keep them away from any headboards that gap (our bed has no headboard).
put the bed on the floor or use a rail to keep them from falling off (not that falling off is going to hurt them, but it will scare the pants off you!).

and obviously, if you feel like you are too sedated, for whatever reason (drunk, been up for 3 straight days, taking sleeping pills), then don't co-sleep that night, or put the baby on your DH's side and let him "referee" the nursing sessions. or use a co-sleeper.

that's pretty much it, and it's all stuff i'm sure you would do automatically if your baby came into your bed.

ETA: as for the deep sleeper thing, that is a legitimate concern. it's easily fixable by doing what alegna suggests. and FWIW, my DH and i are pretty deep sleepers, and neither of us has ever rolled on DD. well, one time he almost did because he didn't know she was there. i brought her into the bed when she cried, and he never woke up. but she cried out as soon as he started to press on her; it woke us both immediately. that was the only time any thing like that has happened.
 

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We have an arm's reach co-sleeper that she starts out in and then ends up in our bed for the rest of the night. She doesn't like to lie flat, something about her diaper butt making her head be downhill I suspect, so I prop her head up on my arm and curl into her. No way Dad can roll over her b/c she's tucked between my outstretched arm and my knees. If we're like this, the covers come up to my chest, about her chest height as well. Sometimes I put her head up on my pillow right next to my face, so covers never get near it and I can feel her breath on my face. I honestly never worried about the covers though b/c I just *know* what is up with her and would wake up and move the covers intuitively if they were getting too close to her face.
 

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have you ever slept in bed with a cat?
did you roll over on the cat?

No of course not. take a breath. If you are concerned about your hubby you can place baby on other side or even in the middle between you just wrap one arm around baby.

when i first started co-sleeping i had one arm around baby like that for a long time so every time DH rolled over or moved i could quickly and easily do a quick sweep with my hand to make sure none of baby was under him.

 

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I was terrified to co-sleep with this one but decided it was best and jumped in. It's really been the best thing I've done and I can't imagine having her anywhere but next to me in bed. We opted to side-car a crib to our bed and it's been wonderful, she has her little space but can roll into bed or I can slide her in next to me when I want to or need to and slide her back when I need my space. Plus I don't have to worry about my deep sleeping DH or that she'll roll off the bed. I've never had a problem with covers either, DH has his own, I have mine and DD is dressed appropriately with a small cover or not if she doesn't need it.
 
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