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Took Taylor 2 the church nursery...

1025 Views 15 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  Spicey Momma
Long story, but I need advice....

This was the first time I took DD to the nursery @ church, she is only 6.5 weeks and I was totally parinoid. I explained to the 2 older women that I CD my daughter, also that she was BF, and to call me if she got hungry. I supplied them w/ 2 Kushies AIOs and 3 WAHM pocket dipes. Well when I went to pick her up after service they had changed her dipe and told me it was in the bag. They had also put a pacifier in her mouth. WE DON'T OWN A

. EWWWWW whose paci was that???? They said it was hers. I decieded not to cause a sceen, and just go nurse her in the "mothers room". As I was getting ready to go I check her diaper bag. NO DIAPER!!! I went back to ask them where her diaper was. Well they had thrown it in the TRASH!! I couldn't believe it! It was a Kushies they had tossed - really cute too w/ frog prince prints on it. I can't believe it! I mean, these things aren't cheap! Anyhow they apologized, bagged the dipe and gave it back to me.

I just can't believe our first time w/ the church nursery was soooo bad. DS goes all the time (he is 3) and we never have problems. I take my newborn and she is given a random paci (gross gross gross) instead of them calling me because she was hungry! And they toss her diaper!!

I am thinking of calling the church office in the morning to complain. I am terrified of what germs could have been introduced to my baby from that paci. What do you think??? Am I overreacting????
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OMG - I would be absolutely LIVID if I were in your shoes! DEFINITELY call the church office and complain. Giving your baby some random pacifier when you explicitly TOLD THEM to call you if she got hungry is absolutely inexcusable.
As far as the diaper goes - I think it may have been an honest (although really stupid) mistake. You said these ladies were older, so maybe they thought it was some new-fangled disposie? Dumb I know, but who knows?

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about germs being transmitted to your DD. Since she's BF she should be well-protected against any yuckies out there! Good luck talking to the church office about this.
I would be mad as heck!!!!!!! But I really wouldn't be worried about germs too much, still..........
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That is so awful!! I would be horrified! And I don't think I would be able to leave my baby with those people again. Our church doesn't do the "nursery" thing- my baby has always just sat with me and nurses when she needs to during church. (I bought a nice nursing top just for that). I feel like God gave me the baby and the boobs, and he can deal with me taking them wherever I go.
I hope you can find a good resolution, but you are totally entitled to be mad. If they gave your child a random passifire and threw out a cloth diaper- what other errors could they make? I can't really fathom.
I am so sorry you had to deal with that.
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I can imagine that it's very upsetting to find your child has some other baby's binky. But, to be fair, the reasoning behind the binky isn't so you don't have to feed the baby.. it's just a soother. Perhaps she was a little fussy and they didn't read those signs as hunger signs. We used a bink and still do with my baby. I might be reading this wrong, but it seems the implication here is that people who give a baby a binky do it INSTEAD of feeding the baby. That's not the case at all. If I worked in the nursery.. you said you cloth diaper.. fine.. you said you breastfeed and to come get you if the baby is hungry.. fine. But I don't know your baby's huger cues. Some babies cry, some babies just fuss a little.. others try to suck on their fist. My baby would suck her fist, but not be hungry. Anyway.. so say I see the baby is a little fussy so to calm her down, I give her the binky that is near her that I mistakenly thought was hers. Granted, it's not a good thing.. but it wasn't on purpose. The workers didn't blatantly give your baby a bink they knew wasn't hers.. and they didn't purposly ignore hunger cues.. they most likey just didn't realize that's what they were seeing. At least, that's the benefit of the doubt I'm inclined to give. It's her first time there..did you specify that she doens't use a binky? Just because you breastfeed doesn't mean you don't give your baby a bink... lots of breastfeeding mothers do. It doesn't make sense to say that just because she took the pacifier it meant she was hungry. Clearly, because some babies nurse and then suck their thumb afterward, it's not always a sign of hunger. The cloth diaper thing.. weeelll.. that's an easy mistake too. Think about it.. you automatically put all cloth diapers into yoru pail right? It becomes a motion you don't even realize you do after awhile. Not long ago, we returned form a trip during which my baby wore one disposable. DH changed her when we got home.. and guess what I found in the CLOTH diaper pail? Yup.. a disposable. It's almost an involuntary motion to take the diaper and drop it there. The person changing her probably thought "this is cloth.. bag it and put it in the bag".. just like I think while I"m peeing and my husband is in the shower "dont flush the toilet it'll scald hubby" .. yet, EVERY time, I flush that darn toilet not ten seconds after reminding myself not to. It's an easy mistake. I'm not saying you don't have the right to be upset.. you do. That's your baby and you would expect someone watching her to do things exactly as you would. But they are just women doing what they know how to do. Now, if you told them "that's not my baby's binky.. we don't use one" and looked a little dismayed and they shrugged it off, then report them. If not.. if they seemed upset also and apologized.. then I'd let it go and if you take her again, remind them that she doens't use a pacifier and if she seems like she needs one, then to come and get you because she's most likely hungry. Anyway.. I know I'm going agains the grain here, as normal, but I totally don't see those as things they'd do purposly. Goodness.. at least you know they were caring for her.. her diaper was changed and they obviously were paying attention to her to see that she needed something.. even if what they gave wasn't the right something. Go easy on them. They've probably pulled many a mom out of a service because they thought the baby was hungry and the mom just gave the baby a bink or a toy and looked at those nursery workers like they were totally inept for making such a big fuss over a little fuss and went back to her seat. It's not an easy job.. every baby is different. I hope next week goes better if you choose to take her back.

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I would be upset about the Binky. I have a thing about germs. I won't put Caden in our church nursery at all yet and he's almost 10 mos. old! lol But I think tippytoes26 has a good take on this and agree with her. I would definitely have let them know that that was NOT my baby's pacifier, though and if I brought my baby back, I would put that info on her info card (if they do that) and would also verbally remind them to please not give her a pacifier.
I totally see your point, tippytoes -- I'd be upset too. Unfortunately, church nurseries are usually woefully understaffed -- and remember -- not trained in any way. Basically, they make sure the kids don't harm each other or themselves for an hour or two.

In addition, there are usually only a couple workers, so if they have say, 5 or 6 two year olds, plus 2 babies, there just aren't enough hands for all the little ones. I usually go to the nursery and check their attendance - if they aren't too full I leave him with strict instructions to buzz me (they have a little pager system that rocks!) if he fusses or they get too busy. I stress that it's no problem several times. Also know that when I have worked in the nursery, I have several times caught the children taking pacies from other children & using them or taking their own & shoving them in other babies' mouths. Granted I doubt that happened (I cannot believe anyone would allow a toddler even a second to get near a 5 1/2 week old ittie bittie one.

Well, I've rambled a bunch, and not made much point.
:LOL I guess what I'm trying to say is that no, the nursery might not be the best place for your baby as they probably aren't equipped for babies under say - 9 months (when they're a bit more mobile) if she needs more attention than a mobile wound in a crib. I usually end up in the mothers room (which has an I-TV so I can watch the tv as it progresses). I take him into the service with me sometimes, as well -- unless he's making noise -- I don't think it's fair to interrupt other people's chance to listen.

I think Kermit had a great idea re: writing it in the comments section of their sign-in sheet (or whatever their procedure is). I think the best person to go to (instead of the main office), would be the nursery director, who could then institute a paccie-policy
without a lot of fuss (since it was, afterall - an accident -- abeit a yucky one).

I just had to chuckle at this:

I supplied them w/ 2 Kushies AIOs and 3 WAHM pocket dipes.
How long is your service? :LOL

Good luck.
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OK, maybe I am overreacting a "little bit". But seriously, Wednesday nite service isn't very full. They have nurserys specific to age. And besides my baby, there was only 1 other baby and 2 workers! Both babies immoble. I don't know where the paci came from (I am glad they where able to keep her calm), but I would like to know where/whos it was! I am really finiky about germs too.

And YES I do overpack my diaperbag all the time. Service was 2 hours and I had 5 dipes (ok 6, I had a prefold and cover too, lol). But I keep extra dipes incase I forget to repack my bag, or don't have time to pack in leaving somewhere.

I don't think I will leave her again until much older. And if I do, there will be ALOT of instructions and "please get me if you need to".

Thanks ladies for helping me calm down
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When my first baby was a few months old I left him in the nursery at church. I told them to get me if he was hungry.
When I went to pick him up, he was just finishing up a bottle. I NEVER LEFT A BOTTLE WITH HIM!!!!! I was so upset! I waited around for the mother to pick up her baby who's bottle it was. She said it was just regular formula.
Imagine if she'd put medicine in it or something. That incident bent me out of shape for a while!
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DS screamed his head off everytime we left him in nursery and I would tell the people to come and get me (usually different people every time), and they wouldn't. I then stopped going to church altogether unless SIL was in the nursery, but realized that she also doesn't feel it necessary to come get me because O is her nephew and is very stubborn about soothing him. So I stopped going. We decided to try again this Sunday (he's 10months old now), and when I went to get him he looked all blotchy and teary, so I asked how long he'd been that way, and she said about 10minutes, he started at the beginning, but then she gave him a Mentos and he was fine until he saw people coming out to Sunday school. A MENTOS, which is a hard candy to a 10month old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I about died. She then explained that she chewed it for him a bit first... Oh, man I didn't know what to say. I just collected him up and left the nursery. Guess we're not going for a while again and risk another call from our elder.

BUT, I also have to agree with everyone else, that nothing that these ladies do is done to intentionally harm our babies or disregard our instructions. It is not an easy job, by any stretch, and they do the best they can. They all have different parenting styles and different thresholds for chaos (and it is chaos in there) and really want to help out by taking care of kids. I know that Owen screaming can rattle anyone when he gets started because he gets very mad very quickly and he wants his Mama! I'm not faulting anyone, but just don't want to put him through that. And about germs... some women I know deliberately put their kids in nursery so they get germs because they think it will toughen their immune system. Personally, I don't like the idea, but understand that when there are that many kids in one spot, there will be germs passed around, shared binky's or not. We have to label everything that is ours so they know, because it's hard to keep track of what came out of what diaper bag.
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I'm the nursery coordinator for our church and I can tell you that if something like this happened at our church, I'd definitely want to know about it. Not in a "reporting it" kind of fashion, but if mamas aren't happy with the way things go in our nursery, I want to know why! I don't want them to feel like they can't entrust their little ones to us and I don't want them to feel like they MUST take their babies to service with them since the nursery is incompetent. So I would call and ask for your nusery coordinator and let her know that you were a little upset by things that went on last night and you think she might want to know about them.

While it's true that most nursery workers are volunteers, it's not true that they don't have any training. You have every right to expect your child not to be given a paci that isn't hers (if it wasn't in her bag or attached to her clothing, it shouldn't have been given to her), and with only two kids in the nursery, it shouldn't be that hard to remember not to throw the diaper away. A way to deal with that might be to ask them to page you for all diaper changes. And as far as nursing and hunger go, I always end up in the nursery before they manage to page me because my boobs are so full that I KNOW it's time to nurse. But you can leave specific instructions regarding hunger cues. You might even write them on a card and stick them in her bag and then just let them know that if she's doing any of those things you'd like to be paged.
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I do some coordinating at our church's nursery. Yes, everyone in there is a volunteer. Most rotate and only serve every few weeks.

It is hard because everyone has different views of what is acceptable. I have one mom who will feed my baby from her spoon. I cringed and remind her that I do not like that, she will try it again the next time she sees us. She is a very sweet mom. She has good intentions......begging baby, feed him. But, I think she should consider that this is not her baby.

I would be upset about the pacifier, but I am sure it was an honest mistake. They probably thought that it was hers. The diaper......I would be upset about that as well....those things cost money. But, I am sure that was a habit, like tippytoes said. I too have found the occasional sposie in the diaper pail.

Anyway, just remember....this is a ministry. We serve in the nursery so that moms can worship in peace. I would want to know if the moms are uncomfortable leaving their children, because we work hard to coordinate this ministry. We also give up our chance to attend worship services so that others can. I want them to be able to do so with a clear mind and focus on God. If they cannot, then my efforts are in vain. At the same time, if your baby has cried a little or was soothed in a way that you would not have used, I would remind them to please come get you.....but, when we have tried to calm a baby longer than we probably should is because we do not want to disturb the mother, not because we think we can do a better job or our ways are RIGHT. We just simply want the mother to be able to worship undisturbed.

Good Luck!
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You've gotten great advice on here from so many different points of view. I did want to try and ease your fears a little about the bink. I have never seen an older woman give a tiny baby a bink without first washing it with soap and water if it had been anywhere but the baby's own mouth. I'd say there's a 90% chance that that bink was washed with soap and water before given to her. I wasn't always as diligent about washing my duaghters binky, but EVERYONE else who ever came near her would always wash her binky before giving it to her without my having to ask them. Most people do at least for the first few months.. some much longer. I'll betcha it was washed up. I know that doesn't make up for the fact that it wasn't hers, but it's better than the image in your head of a bink from the floor with all kinds of critters on it

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Sorry I haven't read al the post but I just wanted to add a couple of thing to what I read.

First of all if you are that concerned about pacifiers and germs your child shouldn't be in the church nursery. Someone else mentioned the function of church nurseries are mostly to keep all the children safe and happy for a couple of hours while thier parents worship. They are usually volunteers, or someone severly underpaid. There is rarely any training or sanitary procedures. When I do church nursery I am unable to leave the room and wash my hands between diapers changes. So unless it is a poopy emergancy I do not change diapers unless I can get to the bathroom to wash my hands. And when I am not working and dd is in there I will go in half way through to change her diaper myself so that she isn't exposed to germs that way.

Throwing the diaper away is just insane. I can't imagine how people make that mistake but I am sure it happens all the time. I made up lables that say "Ava wears cloth diapers. Put the dirty one in this bag and use this one just like a disposable" I put the clean one inside a ziplock, and put the lable on the diaper. that way they have a bag in thier hand and the diaper they are supposed to use and instructions for everything. If I really think they won't get it I put a lable on the diaper she is wearing saying "put me in the ziplock"

As for the Paci - that happens. A few germs aren't going to hurt your baby. She will get them from the workers hands, arms and sholder. From blankets, bouncy seats and swings. From the cribsa nd sheets and blankets. From the changing table and direct projectile body fluids of other babies. She will also leave hger fair share even when she seems perfectly healthy. onbce she is moving there are toys too. Nurseries, and the world at large, are nasty germy places and one little suck on a binky is really a small thing. If you aren't ready for that just keep your little darlin with you. The nurseries I work in rarely see a baby under 9 months. And binkys get passed around pretty freely. If it is a huge concern put a lable on your child that says "No pacifiers or bottle for me! If I am fussin' get my mom please" I also keep a note in my bag that tells about my baby, what calms them, and when to get me. It also explains how to change a cloth diaper.
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Listening to all the different views has helped me calm down
But I think that the evening service is just during her cranky time, so we will stick to sunday morning. She will probley stay with me for awhile too. I think I will meantion the paci to the nursery director, but I won't say anything about the dipe. I am calling it "compromise"
. Taylor is just so little being 6 weeks old that I totally freaked out! And if I am still that nervous, it is better for her to just stay with mommy.
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