I like Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, but it only really applies to the two year old and five year old. Lots of stuff about managing toddler and pre-school issues and parenting according to your values, very little advice about the key issues of what babies should eat and where they should sleep! Very strong advice about non-punitive discipline for toddlers.
My neighbor, whose children are older, gave me a Faber and Mazlish book, Liberated Parents Liberated Children. (They also wrote How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk.) the book was a bit dated but covered a lot of stuff about what older children need--a lot about encouraging appropriate levels of independence, trusting children to be smart and figure things out, how to be supportive without taking over. I liked reading it, don't know how it works in practice.
