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Have you been raped?

  • Yes, by a stranger.

    Votes: 59 9.3%
  • Yes, by a relative/friend/SO.

    Votes: 199 31.2%
  • No.

    Votes: 350 54.9%
  • Other.

    Votes: 70 11.0%
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Discussion Starter #1
Have you ever been raped?<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
I'm asking this because I have and would like to share my story. But first, I want to see if there is anyone else....and I figure if this gets pulled, then my story will FOR SURE. But I'm thinking of just linking it in anyway.<br><br>
Thanks.<br><br><br><br><br><b>Clarification: I *DO NOT* think that being raped by a relative vs a stranger is considered "worse" or "better" than the other. I just think that they are "different" and wanted to see the statistics HERE, at THIS site, of how many people had been raped, and by who.<br><br>
I, personally, was raped at 15 by my 17 year old boyfriend. It was my "Valentine's Day gift" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: . I was also nearly raped again by someone else a few months later, but we were in a park, in a car, and the cops saw us. It wasn't until they came that I realized he had put a condom on even though I had repeatedly said no. The cops also found a knife on him. He was older, and bigger, so I'm pretty sure the cops saved me from being raped again.</b>
 

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My first time, I was 13, was forced upon me. I have never thought of it as rape but maybe I have been in denial. I continued to date the jerk for a while but I have always resented that my first time did not happen with my complete consent.<br><br>
On a positive note, I did go on to have a sexual relationship with a woman many yrs later (and discovered I was gay <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: ) but the first time with her was wonderful so maybe it makes up for what was taken away from me when I was so very young.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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Congratulations for breaking out of the fear.<br>
You are not alone.<br><br>
I was raped by my cousin and his best friend when I was 12 and they were 14. It went on for more than a year. For a long time I told myself it wasn't rape. But it was. I still wrestle with whether or not I asked for it, whether or not I fought hard enough. I know now, although I'm not saying I'm at peace, but I KNOW now, that it wasn't my fault, I didn't ask for it, I DID fight hard enough, and I owe it to myself to never stop fighting.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

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i really don't know if what happened to me is considered rape.<br>
I was 18 living in a room of a house. which had a business in it too, one of the men that worked there kept asking me out, i didn;t know how to say no so i agreed. He took me to the beach and gave me drinks. He brought me back to the house and tried to kiss me i let him, i let him get me naked, when he tried to have sex with me i said no (i had never had sex before) he said it would only hurt for a little bit.<br>
It hurt a lot. I screamed a blood curtling scream and he covered my mouth (there was a tenant in the basement, who never even came up the stairs)<br>
there was so much blood.<br>
I left there the next day,his response when i wouldn't see him was it takes two to tango.<br>
Sometimes i will be in a grocery store and i'll see someone that looks like him and it makes me scared and sick to my stomach.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Canadianmommax3</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7911285"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i really don't know if what happened to me is considered rape.<br>
I was 18 living in a room of a house. which had a business in it too, one of the men that worked there kept asking me out, i didn;t know how to say no so i agreed. He took me to the beach and gave me drinks. He brought me back to the house and tried to kiss me i let him, i let him get me naked, when he tried to have sex with me i said no (i had never had sex before) he said it would only hurt for a little bit.<br>
It hurt a lot. I screamed a blood curtling scream and he covered my mouth (there was a tenant in the basement, who never even came up the stairs)<br>
there was so much blood.<br>
I left there the next day,his response when i wouldn't see him was it takes two to tango.<br>
Sometimes i will be in a grocery store and i'll see someone that looks like him and it makes me scared and sick to my stomach.</div>
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I'm so sorry you went through that. It can seem confusing, but, yes, that was rape. He had intercourse with you without your consent.<br><br>
It's my dd's bedtime, but I recommend a book called, "I Never Called it Rape." I've got to go, but I wanted to respond and give a hug. You are not alone!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
P.S. I wish the poll didn't split known rapists from stranger rapists. It shouldn't matter. It's rape, either way.
 

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I went through the typical date rape scenario. I spent years wondering if it was really rape since I was dating the guy. Now I know it was... I was 15. He used a gun and duct tape and basically abducted me from a friend's house where I was having a sleepover. DEFINITELY rape. And I should have gotten help at the time because years later the trauma is still there.
 

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I voted other. I was assaulted by <i>the system</i>. There was a false report of sexual abuse filed on me. So they forced a genital exam on me that <i>I did not consent</i> to. My mom had to physically drag me to the gynecologist. I wrapped my arms and legs around the waiting room chair and she dragged me and the chair halfway across the room. I was terrified and had the urge to just run away out the door, but I didn't know where I could go. I was very traumatized and violated. I had a strong urge to shower immediately after the exam. So it wasn't really like a rape, in the usual sense of the word, but IMO, it was. I was ten. I can't believe they can do this to children.
 

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I voted other, because I've never been sure, and it was something that I only really thought about recently. I lived by myself when I was 17 in a house that was divided into apartments - two on the bottom, one on top. A guy moved in the front apartment who was fairly good looking, obviously had money, etc. He was probably a few years older than me. One night, he came around to my apartment and asked if I wanted to borrow a movie he had gotten from the local video place, and struck up a conversation about music. We stood in the doorway and talked, and he seemed cool. He came back a few more times under similar circumstances, then one night, showed up REALLY REALLY drunk and just sort of invited himself all the way in. We sat on my couch, watching TV, and then suddenly he was just sort of all over me, drunkenly kissing me, and literally pinning me down. He took my hand and forced me to touch him. I remember thinking "well, wait..what..what's happening?" - when he was done (it was very quick), he mumbled something about going to the movie sometime, and stumbled out. I remember that he seemed so heavy (he was very muscular), and I clearly remember the vice grip he had on my hand and wrist.<br><br>
I remember being confused and stunned - I had sort of liked him, he was cute, et cetera, and I didn't scream or bite his face or something, I struggled and then just sort of gave up, since he seemed intent on making it happen, and he was so strong. It was so fast, and surreal. I didn't cry, I just felt...stupid. And slutty. Like he thought I was a whore so he didn't want to actually get to know me, just wanted to make me do something. We avoided each other after that.<br><br>
I've never really known what to call that - rape? Near rape? I never thought it affected me until I recently began contemplating where my self-image comes from, and how I have formed my opinions about myself.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MamaWindmill</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7913163"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I voted other, because I've never been sure, and it was something that I only really thought about recently....<br>
I've never really known what to call that - rape? Near rape? I never thought it affected me until I recently began contemplating where my self-image comes from, and how I have formed my opinions about myself.</div>
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Yes, that is rape and I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's just like I said above that when a person has intercourse with another person without their consent, that is rape.<br><br>
It's rape if:<br><br>
You're making out, doing all kinds of fun stuff, you don't want it to go further and he just does it anyway. That is rape.<br><br>
You fall asleep, pass out and someone you know and maybe even really like comes in and has intercourse with you. You did not consent. That is rape.<br><br>
Someone has intercourse with you against your wishes and you later end up having sex with them again or even dating and marrying them later. That was still rape.<br><br>
Some rapes are very traumatic to the person, some people move on more quickly. If you're the latter type, that doesn't mean it wasn't rape or that it's okay for a person to force another person to have intercourse or to do other sexual acts. You always have the right to say no.<br><br>
Even when a woman thinks back to some poor judgements they made that contributed to being in that situation, that doesn't mean that he had a right to force you against your wishes.
 

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No, but I'm continually surprised by how many of my friends have been. I was at a party last year where several of us women were talking about sex and relationships and it turned out I was the only one there who had never been raped. It's hard to believe it's that common, but it is.
 

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3x. Once was by an almost stranger. I woke up to this guy sexually assaulting me but stopped short of intercourse when I woke up and told him I was going to scream.<br><br>
The next time was by a pretty close friend. We were at a party and had been drinking pretty heavily. I was sharing a hotel room with hime and his wife and I awoke sometime during the night to him fondling me. His wife was asleep in the bed right next to mine. I pretended to stay asleep because I didn't want my best friend (his wife) to know what he was doing. He also stopped short of intercourse.<br><br>
The last time I was on a blind date. One of my friends was out with me so I thought I was safe. I truly believe he drugged us both because we were both assaulted but we both knew what had happened. Neither of us could stop it from happeneing- we were virtually paralyzed. We didn't speak of it after that morning.<br><br>
I told someone about what happened to me a few years later (all of these assaults happened within a 3 year period) and they made me feel like it was my fault or that I "wanted" it to happen since I didn't go to the police or anything. I haven't talked about it since until now. I know it wasn't my fault but I can't bring myself to try talking about it again and having them judge me based on my inaction, you know?
 

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I was date raped about 5 years ago. He took me to a movie and then refused to take me home, insisting on going back to his apartment. Once there he told me to go to sleep in his bed, that he wasn't going to try anything...but he did. I remember hiding in his bathroom afterwards, sobbing and touching my parts because I couldn't believe how swollen and injured they were. The kicker was a few weeks later when my skezy roommate started dating him....<br><br>
I don't think I ever told anyone except my DH.
 

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No I have never been raped but I am so sorry for those of you who have.
 

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I said other.<br><br>
When I was fifteen, my best friend and her boyfriend set me up with one of his friends. Apparently it was just a booty call -- they (the guys) rented a room at a really cheap motel, so that we would all have a place to go. I TOTALLY did NOT want to do anything, but both my friend and her boyfriend pressured me into having sex with the guy. So they were in one bed, we were in the other.<br><br>
Afterward I found out he had a girlfriend, they were apparently fighting or something -- but the following week she cornered me in a bathroom at school, call me a slut (while the guy's younger sister and her best friend, who had both been friends of mine before this all happened, watched, laughing) and threatened to kick my ass if I ever went near him again. She didn't believe me when I tried to tell her I didn't want to go near him the first time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
It's nearly twenty years later and I still have an icky place inside when I think about it.
 
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