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I posted a few weeks ago about how people touch DS and the problems it causes. I got some good responses from you guys, and we've been working on how to say what we want rather than scream and slap the hand of the person touching. So...<br><br>
We went to the grocery store. They have those carts that look like little cars. DS and DD were in one. I was at the customer service desk renting a steam cleaner, so they had to wait a few minutes. This cashier comes over, tousles (yes - or tussles?) his hair, and starts hitting the horns in the little car. DS said, "no!" She did it again, and he said "no" again. I said, "he doesn't like his personal space invaded."<br><br>
She said to DS, "I'm just trying to be friends with you," and he just gave her a glare.<br><br>
So I'm thinking that this woman's obviously annoyed with DS (and me), but at least he said no, and it was pretty clear what he meant. There was no squealing or smacking.<br><br>
Then another woman came over to stand in line behind us and said, "how are you?" to DS. The cashier, whose line was about 10 feet from us, came over and said to the woman, "I wouldn't talk to him. He's not very nice."<br><br>
So, I turned around and said, "it's not about him being nice. It's that he doesn't like people touching him or his things."<br><br>
She mumbled that he wasn't nice, and I said, "you wouldn't invade an adult's space that way, and he deserves the same respect."<br><br>
She returned to her line giving me death glares. Then she said to this customer in her line, "I don't care what she says. He's not a good kid." So I whirled around but wasn't sure what to say. I could tell the other customer felt awkward and just said something like "well, he's a cute kid" and took his bag.<br><br>
WTF? I'm so friggin' pissed that I finally moved forward with DS to have some woman think she can talk that way to him. I was super-calm, which trust me isn't easy. I fly off the handle pretty quickly.<br><br>
I really wanted to speak to a manager, but I couldn't do it calmly. Should I? I'm not sure what to say, beyond "really, this is the 3rd employee who's touched DS or the cart he's in. I know they mean well, but I cannot keep shopping here if I have to ward against employees touching him. DS doesn't like to be touched, and really I shouldn't have to watch out for employees touching him. They wouldn't treat an adult that way."<br><br>
Of course, DH wants to go in and start rummaging through her stuff and then say "I'm just trying to be your friend!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Yes, I would have spoken with a manager. And I would have held up the grocery line while she called a manager.
 

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Wow. I can't believe she persisted in antagonizing your family like that. That's terrible customer service if nothing else. "He's not a good kid." UMMM.... WTH??? Who says stuff like that? If that happens again I would definitely let a manager know. I can't imagine that's how they want their employees treating their customers.<br><br>
And I posted this on your other thread, but I still agree that absolutely a child should be allowed to say "no" to an adult touching him. All the books on preventing child abuse seem to emphasize that it's important for a child to feel that he can say no - you are absolutely doing the right thing by letting him know that it's okay for him to say no.
 

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How about giving her hair a little tousle, punch some of the buttons on her register and stand about 2 inches from her and smile....
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="jaw2"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BrandiRhoades</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11580819"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I really wanted to speak to a manager, but I couldn't do it calmly. Should I? I'm not sure what to say, beyond "really, this is the 3rd employee who's touched DS or the cart he's in. I know they mean well, but I cannot keep shopping here if I have to ward against employees touching him. DS doesn't like to be touched, and really I shouldn't have to watch out for employees touching him. They wouldn't treat an adult that way."</div>
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absolutely talk to the manager!
 

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I would for sure talk to the manager and mention the chick by name. That's a ridiculous way for an adult to act!
 

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I can't believe that women said that to you....I feel so bad for your little one. How RUDE...errrr
 

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<span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><span style="font-size:medium;"><span>If you don't think you can talk to the manager calmly, take a bit of time and write a letter instead. Basically, write what you just wrote here, explain that your DS is sensitive to people invading his space, how he dealt with it (appropriately, I might add) and how their employee continued on and even embarrassed you and your family. If you have the employee's name, include it. If you don't, go back to the store on your own and try to find out the persons name. Make sure you end the letter explaining that you don't think it's worth firing her over (or if you do, just exclude that part); but that you'd like to know what actions will be taken in regards to this matter.</span></span></span>
 

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Wow, you and your DC handled that amazingly well. I absolutely would call the manager as soon as you think you can remain calm. It is inappropriate for her to be touching your kid or his cart in the first place. (What ever happened to just saying "hi"?) But, then to go out of her way to further the confrontation when someone else was interacting with your DC. That is absolutely uncalled for. I don't care what her baggage is, she has no business putting your child down, especially when he can hear what she is saying about him. That is so mean! She shouldn't be interacting with the public if she cannot be civil when called on her inappropriate behavior.<br><br>
I would call the manager, absolutely and if I didn't get an appropriate response, I'd go over his head. You should be able to buy your groceries without being abused by the staff!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BAU3</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11581486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How about giving her hair a little tousle, punch some of the buttons on her register and stand about 2 inches from her and smile....</div>
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Love it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"><br><br>
I would say definitely report to management. She went way over teh line. If I were a manager at that store I would want to know that stuff like that is going on.
 

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This sort of thing makes me cringe. Ppl always seem to think that they can walk up to any child/baby and talk to them or touch them. Um, NO! My middle child is cautious around ppl she doesn't know and tends to hide behind me. I am TIRED of ppl trying to walk around me to speak to her. I nicely ask ppl to give her some personal space and they say something like "Oh, is she SHY?" like that's a bad thing. I don't know when society decided that little kids need to act like outgoing cheerleaders all the time.<br><br>
Biggest pet peeve is when complete strangers want to touch or hold the baby in the middle of winter. I finally told one rude woman who wouldn't stop pestering me "Look, it's the middle of cold and flu season! I don't know you, I have no idea if you wash your hands after blowing your nose or going to the bathroom. So what makes you think I'm going to let you touch my child!" She left me alone after that. I wore him in the sling every time we went in public places after that.<br><br>
Good job defending your DS op!! I think writing a letter would be best. I'd send it to the manager of that store for now but if this happens again I'd write to Customer Service of the company.<br><br>
Beth
 
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