traditional home

If you believe in your heart that you are to stay home with your kids, do it. You only have one chance to make that decision and if it is right for you and it works financially, you will never regret it. Kids grow up so fast. Don't let other people look down on you or make you feel inferior because of your decision.

Some people make comments like that because they are jealous. Other say those things because they are career oriented (and that's okay, it is just not for you). People are always going to think decisions you make in life are not right because they would do things differently.

As long as you are happy to stay at home with your kids, that is the best decision for you and don't ever let anyone look down on you. But at the same time, we should never look down on people who don't want to stay home or can't for financial reason. We all have to do what works for our own families. I commend you for taking the step to stay at home and to do what you can to make your family the best it can be. It is a joy and a challenge as is everything in life. Best of luck to you.

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You know, I feel the exact same way even though I am only staying home for one year with my son. I just finished my master's degree and I've heard it said so many times by mother how I'm "wasting" my degree. But trust me, I am so happy being a traditional homemaker. I mean, I never even imagined how well it would suit me. I always saw myself as a "career first" kind of girl but having ds has certainly changed that. I do mostly everything in the house--cleaning, cooking, childcare, etc even though, like yours, my dh will cheerfully pitch in. I couldn't imagine a better set-up and I'm going to work so hard for the next two to three years to put everything in order to make sure I can be a homemaker for good. This is my goal (and I can hardly believe it). I really don't care what anyone has to say about it and I try not to be judgmental of folks who could stay home and care for the families and households but choose not to because of modern ideas/fear of "wasting their education." Well, actually, I do care what people think but I'm trying not to care as much and just to do what makes me happy and what works best for my family. I love that my son has me all the time and that my dh can focus on working and not worry about things at home.

You know, I feel the same way. I have a master's degree and had a wonderful career before SAHMing. But I was never, ever happy and in fact was on Zoloft for 10 years and thought I had clinical depression. But ever since I had DD and became a SAHM, I have been happy, and peaceful, and have realized that this is what I want to do. I love cooking organic, healthful meals that are ready when my DH gets home, and keeping a clean, nontoxic home for our family. I am happy being where I want to be instead of filling some mold my parents carved out for me. My parents raised us to be career women, and my sisters (all childless, and Ivy League, highly successful career-wise) are all horrified at my life now and make fun of me. I just smile. I feel no need even to defend it. I wouldn't have understood it until I was here either. I am happy for the first time in my life and realize that even though I am good at a lot of things, mothering at home/family building is what I'm best at, and most of all, it's the ONLY thing I LOVE to do. I am happy almost all the time now and haven't been depressed in years .

actually my partner and i decided it would be his job to work outside the house and my job would be to care for my son. we are partners in everything else.

we share the household chores and do some things together. i do the meal planning, shopping and cooking and he keeps the bathroom and does the dishes. i do the budgeting and bill paying and he takes the garbage to the dump once a week. i cut the lawn and he does the heavy work in the yard. he washes his clothes and i wash mine. we share washing my son's clothes and towels and sheets, etc. we split who puts my son to bed at night. half the time he does it and the other half i do it and on sunday my son gets to choose who does it. we alternate who gives him a bath.

or sometimes we just look at what needs to be done and we say "who wants to do what?" it's very joyful and sometimes just plain fun. i would feel really lonely if i had to do all the household chores alone. plus my whole day would be full of chores and i wouldn't have much time for my son, while he does enjoy helping me, he wouldn't want to do it for the whole day and neither would i.

i'm not sure why people would comment about what works in yur home, except maybe they see you working like a dog?

i guess if you are happy it's okay, but i do like to show my son that i can do whatever daddy does and daddy can do whatever mommy does. that's why i like to have daddy cook wth him once in a while and why he helps me with the garbage sometimes. i do think that not only are the adult needs important in what happens in a home, but balanced modeling also, so kids don't feel trapped in certain roles when they grow up. nothing worse than a collage student who can't cook or do laundry or change her oil or sew on his button or put up a window curtain in her apt. i saw it all when i was in college and it was sad. kids need varied gender roles to help them feel confident in caring for themselves when they get older.

I have been a SAHM since my eight yr. old was born (I also have a 4.5 yr. old and am pg. due in 8 weeks). I have run a home day care the whole time. I'm getting ready to give up the day care and be a TOTAL SAHM (you know what I mean LOL) but I'm so afraid that I can't do it. My house is a mess, I don't like to cook and I have no homemaking skills. I'm hoping I'll do better with my time but am scared that I won't. I also homeschool, so next year I'll be homeschooling 2 (my DD will just start and I'm afraid she is going to be a challenge,,,my son has always been awesome to homeschool) and a newborn. BUT my goal it to get my house under control, start cooking more/better and be a great homeschooler....we'll see. I will feel terrible if I can't pull off at least keeping the house up better though....I really want to do that for DH. (I know I can do the homeschool stuff, just worried about working out the kinks...didn't want y'all to think the keeping up the house was MORE important to me than that! LOL)

ANyway, keep your chin up, you are doing great!