[Illaria]

Starting in January my first lo will be entering child care as I go back to focusing on my career (I am an assistant professor). I have been working a bit from home since ds arrived, but have been with him most of the time. There have been a handful of occassions that I left him with dh for a couple of hours when I had to go to an important meeting or such. He does fine taking a bottle of breastmilk from dh. However, I am still really worried about his transition to child care. It is an excellent child care program right on campus, but I am concerned that ds will have trouble being away from me. And, I am worried about how hard it will be for me to be away from him too. Mostly, I just worry about how in the world they will get him to nap and soothe him if he gets hysterical. He is not a great napper, and mostly likes to nurse to sleep. Also, he is most easily soothed by nursing. He has no security objects, just me really. I would love to hear some advice on how to give ds a smooth transition to child care! Is there anything I can do now to help prepare him? Also, he hates hates hates the carseat ... so getting him to child care will likely be problematic too. I just want him to have a good experience and not traumatize him. Advice???

... forgot to mention ds will be 3 months when he starts.

 

[hparsh]

I could have written your post when I was preparing DS for daycare at around 3 months. He is extremely high needs and did not sleep well. He had to be nursed to sleep and held in my arms.

I really don't know what advice to give you because it was such a difficult time for me, and the daycare I chose was completely unsupportive. I guess the only thing I can think of is to make sure they are on board with your parenting practices (e.g. not allowing your child to CIO, etc.). If you have any doubts abou the daycare whatsoever, look for a new one. I learned the hard way. DS was in a miserable daycare for 3 months until I found a much better way.

Good luck.

:

 

[Siera]

I recently went through a similar situation. I"m away from my DD 3 hours each weekday morning (I teach). I was worried about the exact same things you are. I found that they found their own ways to comfort her, and we adapted as well. For instance, when she first went to day care, I sent along a t-shirt I had worn for a few days and put breastmilk on it. For the first month, she couldn't go to sleep at the day care without that shirt! But, it comforted her to have "mommy" around. Now, she uses a little blankie. The workers have also told me that they are gradually learning her "cues", so they know how she acts when she gets sleepy or doesn't feel well. Also, with me not around, my DD, for instance, takes a pacifier! She never does that at the house! I think the baby knows you aren't there and they adapt as do the workers. But, it's not easy. I think it was (and is) harder on me to leave her there for a few hours than it is for her to stay there. Especially when she cries when I drop her off. But, I never leave until I know she's happy. Plus, I nurse her when I drop her off and when I pick her up. I also make sure I allot enough time before and after to talk, play, and just spend some cozy "mommy and me" time that way she feels comfortable with her surroundings.

Sorry that was so long and rambling, but I hope it helps you. Good luck -- you will do fine!

 

[rock_dr]

Illaria - are you my twin-in-a-parallel-universe??
I am an assistant prof who's child started in daycare at 3 months (on campus). oh yeah and I also live near the mountains

I could have written your post almost word for word last year when I did this...

anyway some good news is that I had the same exact fears and everything worked out just great for us. I was hyper-paranoid about naps, and there was in fact about a 2 week adjustment period where napping was erratic, but it all settled down and actually that's about when my dd started sttn

. I was able to remind myself about the positive aspects of having my job. she was happy and doing just fine... Do be prepared for some sick days especially early on. Even if they are great about washing hands and such, germs get spread and it's just a fact of life. One thing that helped was that I (and her grandmother who came to visit) spent several hours in the daycare room with her each day for about a week before starting full time. This helped the staff get to know her and vice versa, and probably more importantly helped soothe my mind. every child/mom is different but my guess is you will be just fine and will come to really value the 'new normal.'

 

[nnaemeka]

thanks so much for the post and the responses. i'm a grad instructor back to teaching next semester and i've been agonizing over putting my now 4-monther in daycare. i wish it was the oncampus center but its not too far. still i'm

just thinking about it so its really great to hear some feedback and encouragement right now.

 

[Illaria]

It is so good to hear some success stories, thanks for the support! The first week of transition I am planning that either I or dh will stay with him (for half days) to help his adjustment, and the second week start leaving him there. I am so nervous, but we still have another month to go so I will try to just take deep breaths

 

[hparsh]

Starting with half days is good. That was going to be my other suggestion. Slowly increase the time you leave your LO in daycare. Don't start out with 8 hour days. If you can, do 2 hours for the first couple of days and then maybe 4 hours for a week and then do full days.

I won't lie. It was very hard at first. I cried for 2-3 weeks straight. Of course, the first daycare was a horrible fit, so that didn't help. Now it is so much better because DS is more used to it, AND we found a great daycare, and that makes all the difference in the world.

Keep us posted!