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<p>I'm looking for ways to process and deal with the trauma of having our daughter spend 4 months in the NICU and 6 weeks getting experimental treatment thousands of miles from home...</p>
<p>I was mostly in denial of the emotional aspects during it all, and didn't let any of it really sink in until she was finally home at 6 months old. PPD set in with a vengeance around 7 months postpartum, and didn't really get better until DD was around 16 months old. I think I have some PTSD, I can't even look at the clothes from when she was sick without my heart racing and getting a nervous, sick to my stomach feeling, but at the same time, I don't want to get rid of any of them, because I want those tangible reminders of how far she's come...</p>
<p>I kept a blog the whole time she was sick (<a href="http://www.faiths-place-08.blogspot.com" target="_blank">www.faiths-place-08.blogspot.com</a>), and I feel like that helped me process things as they happened, and I'm able to see the "bright side" in virtually everything that happened... but being newly pregnant with #3 makes me nervous that there are things that I haven't fully worked through that will be problematic during this pregnancy/birth.</p>
<p>Has anyone had an experience like this? How did you work through it? The birth itself wasn't terribly traumatic, it was just pretty much exactly the opposite of what I wanted (we had planned a homebirth, and ended up with a high-risk hospital birth with constant monitoring and an epidural, not being able to hold her till she was 8 days old, etc...). Really most of the trauma occurred in the NICU experience after the birth...</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>
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<p><span>No real advice, but I was the baby in a similar situation.</span> Bumping your thread so maybe someone with more experience will see.</p>
 

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<p>NICU can absolutely be traumatic.  I was riding the PTSD line from 1 day of critical condition, 1 day of rapid improvement and 8 days of sitting around with an exclusively breastfeeding baby in a back room with no monitors because she "had pneumonia" and needed IV antibiotics. </p>
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<p>I haven't had a pregnancy since that birth (my daughter is just shy of 7 months old) but I keep telling myself that you can't live life by the exceptions to every rule.  Awareness is good and important, but you can't live waiting for rare catastrophes to strike. </p>
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<p>*hugs*</p>
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<p>Have you been able to get any support or counseling?  That sounds like you've been through hell, and could probably use an empathetic counselor to help you as you process everything and prepare for your next birth.  And congratulations!  *hugs*</p>
 
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