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Has anyone dealt with preparing a child who has really strong emotional reactions for homebirth?

I'm looking for advice and tips on preparing my seven year old daughter for our homebirth (due in early Feb). She and her 12 y/o sister both want to be there, and grandma will be in charge of taking care of them.

The 12 y/o was 5 when her sister was born, and I prepared her by talking and reading books, watching videos of births, etc. She was a really mellow and level-headed child. My mom was with her and they mostly played in her bedroom until the actual birth occurred. She never seemed overly upset or traumatized and was easily reassured that everything was okay.

I've been trying to do the same with my 7 y/o, but she is a different child all together. She is very dramatic and has very strong emotional reactions to things. She has sensory issues and I know she feels things more deeply than most people, which also makes her have very strong and overwhelming outbursts sometimes. I'd hate for her to start "freaking out" during labor.

Several times when talking about what may happen during the birth she has gotten "excited" - er, freaked out, and panicky - "I don't want you to die!" when I was telling her that I might be making a lot of noise because it hurts, but I will be fine. I've tried reassuring her that it is extremely rare for anyone in our country to die in childbirth (she saw this in a movie or something) these days and to explain that the pain and struggle of childbirth are normal. I'm having a hard time wording it so she can understand!

She has also heard about a breech birth somewhere and keeps telling me I should play music by my vagina so the baby will turn head down - I keep reassuring her the baby is head down. We talked about what breech births were and what would happen if the baby was breech and wouldn't turn (here it would end up with a hospital transfer and section) but that it would be okay and everyone would be healthy in the end. She got really upset about the idea of me having a cesarean and I assured her it was probably not going to happen, but that it was a way of saving the baby's life if something was wrong. She just kept saying "I don't want that to happen to you!!!" and she seemed really frightened and almost didn't hear anything I was saying, she was so panicked.

She is so much more sensitive and high strung, I'm worried she is going to be made overly anxious by the whole thing. I keep telling her that I am strong, I've had two babies at home already and I know I can do it. I want her to know I am okay even if I am moaning and groaning and so on.

I think my mother will be able to distract her or leave with her if necessary but I'd like for her to be able to be a part of it and be okay. Any words of advice out there for me???
 

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Ds1 has an anxiety disorder & ds2 is very clingy, so we have a few issues here too. The thing that helps the most is watching birth videos. I've got a whole bunch from youtube that I'm going to start showing them next month (ds1 has seen some birth videos & was here for ds2's birth, before the anxiety really showed up, so hopefully he'll be ok this time around). Reading older sibling books helps a bit, too. Some of them are really good for explaining that labour hurts but it's perfectly ok. There's only one that shows homebirth (I'm trying to work on increasing that total), it's not bad. It's called 'Welcome with Love' or 'Hello, Baby'. Different places it has a different title for some reason.
 
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