[citymama]

Okay, my partner whom I love eternally and is so supportive and loving is driving me a bit nuts. We were revisiting the OB vs. midwife route this evening. He has this notion that there should be some sort of time limit on my labor. If we stick with the OB, he says that we should only let me labor for 12 hours and then do a c-section. What kind of nonsense is this, you all must be thinking. After being with me through what he considers a 36 hour labor (it was really much less as he is counting from when my water broke, not my actual labor which was induced with cervadil and later augmented with pit) and then a c-section, he doesn't want to see me have that difficult recovery again. What do I do with this man???

:

He also recited all the negatives of our experience with the first birth -

- how the hospital didn't really have my best interests at heart (they pushed me out when I really could have used an extra due to an infection)
- how he felt the doctors would have liked to have done the c-section sooner
- how the doctors and hospitals in general don't like long in hospital labors and so I was some sort of problem.
- and how they would probably prefer I have a planned repeat section.

I told him, based upon what he just said, that I am inclined to switch to the midwife even at this late stage (25 weeks). He wants to know the cost, a valid concern, but I am frustrated.

 

[tika]

Would your husband agree to meet with a midwife...no strings attached?

Most mw's will do a free consult and go over things with you then you can decide if it is something that you both want to do. Your husband will have the opportunity to ask questions, and so will you.

My husband was accepting of a home birth with a mw prior to our midwife consult, but the consult sealed the deal. He was surprised by the difference between a midwife and an OB, how at ease we felt with her, how confident she was in me to VBAC etc etc. He is now about just as passionate as I am about our HBAC plans.

You still have plenty of time to switch care providers, I don't consider 25wks late at all for this.

 

[heather_c]

The best advice I ever heard in convincing a DH to support a homebirth was to ask them if they trust that you are making the best decision for you and the baby and does he know that you would never put the baby or yourself at risk. Asking this question to my DH was the beginning of his feeling comfortable enough with homebirth to discuss it further.

Sorry you are dealing with this.