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I have lurked in this forum for a long time (I have read and benefited from many of the books suggested here--thanks) but this is the first time I have ever posted. I am out of ideas with my son Benjamin, who is 3-1/2, and need some suggestions.<br><br>
Benjamin is a very high-spirited, energetic boy, who easily gets carried away in the heat of the moment with whatever he is doing. This intensity, which I share, is not generally a problem. But we live in New York City, and one thing I need him to be able to do is to avoid getting hit by cars in the street.<br><br>
We have had many discussions about how if Mommy or Daddy yells "stop," he has to stop right where he is. We practice it often. But he seems incapable of doing this when it matters. He will run away from me and just keep going down the sidewalk despite hearing "stop," until I chase him down and physically restrain him. Yesterday he came within about two feet of running into two lanes of fast-moving traffic. Anther mom had to tackle him because I couldn't run fast since I had my 7-month old in the front carrier. It was easily the scariest moment I have had as a mother.<br><br>
Afterward, he wouldn't even discuss what happened with me. He just covered his face and turned toward the back of the stroller. Later, he said (as he always does) that he would stop when Mommy says stop. But he has said this before and it never happens.<br><br>
I don't know what to do!! Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading this far--<br><br>
Beth, Mom to Benji (3/23/00) and Maggie (1/24/03)
 

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My 3.5 year old son won't stop either. He is very concious of cars though so I don't think he would ever run past the curb but it is worrisome and annoying behaviour none the less. I used to freak out and really express my fear as Martha Sears recommends but this just doesn't work. What did work was immediately, calmly and firmly putting him in the stroller and saying, "If you can't walk safely you will have to ride in the stroller." No fuss, no getting mad, no emotion what so ever. For you since it's a very real safety hazard, I'd ask him before you head out if he can walk safely today with no running (I'd say no running rather than expect him to stop running when you say so) and if Mum says stop he stops immediately. And explain that if he doesn't want to walk safely he will have to ride in the stroller.<br><br>
I might be projecting because my son is doing allot of this lately but it just sounds like he's trying to push your buttons. So when I freaked out he got what he wanted and did it again. If I react calmly he doesn't get what he wants so stops doing it.
 

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Hi,<br><br>
OK, this might sound drastic but have you considered a 'toddler tether' until he is old enough to realise the danger of the street? Check out this site<br><br><a href="http://www.mommyshop.com/safetyharness.html" target="_blank">http://www.mommyshop.com/safetyharness.html</a><br><br>
I know it seems wrong to some people but they are used widely in Britain and other parts of Europe where the roads are very narrow and the traffic is fast. One doesn't have to use it constantly, just when the situation arises. For example one might not use it at the park but would use it when walking on a sidewalk next to busy traffic.<br><br>
I hope you don't think I was crazy to suggest it, I apologize if I have offended anyone.
 

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I think the tether is GREAT! It's like holding hands but with longer arms - and you both have both hands free! So the child can still touch and skip and pick up leaves or whatever and still know where you are in relation to him/her. LOVE it. I never used one till I was in uni and babysitting - one of "my" moms liked using it, so her kids were used to it - it was perfect for walks - holding hands means you each have at least one hand you can't use and kiddo doesn't really have much range of motion (plus, I always think their little arms must get tired of being up in the air all the time).<br><br>
I know people look at them and think "leash" but really, I do think of it as being the same as holding hands, but with more freedom and less struggle. Also, I find a child who is unwilling to hold hands will usually enjoy the tether because they still have freedom of movment and some independence.
 

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I would practice the saying stop and getting him to respond on a regular basis until he is doing it consistently. You may even turn it into a game (like red light, green light)
 

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I am a former NYer and I go back there often. I do so much walking there that I cannot function without a stroller. I insist that DD be in it for her own safety and for the fact that it's too much walking for her to be expected to do (she's also 3).<br><br>
I wouldn't trust your son to promise anything - I would make him use the stroller and then he can get out in the park. Kids are very impulsive and although he might mean to listen, there is just so much noise and energy in the city that he just might get carried away "in the moment".<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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i cannot say "KID LEASH!!!!!!" loud enough!!!<br><br>
or put him in the stroller if you have issues with the leash. he sounds like he's not quite ready to really be on his own where there's danger around.
 
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