[ChristaN]

I don't even know if I should try b/c I am sure that I will be unsuccessful, but am seeking your advice anyway. My brother & SIL have one little boy & are expecting again. I discussed not circing with them the first time around with no luck. They thought that the idea of not circing was disgusting & their son is, of course circumcised. Actually, that non-MDC sig that someone posted in TAO describes my brother & SIL to a T (formula feeding, CIO, spanking, circing etc.).

I realize that it takes some realization that you were wrong the first time around to choose to do something differently the next time. Since the likelihood of my family members coming to the conclusion that they were wrong is slim to none, is it even worth trying to convince them that they shouldn't circ their next child, should it be a boy? I obviously was not successful the first time around.

 

[Frankly Speaking]

How will you feel every time you see that baby if you don't even try? Is it worth it?

Frank

 

[ChristaN]

You're right, of course. I guess that I just don't even know how to approach it since everything I tried last time just irritated them & they are so different from me in so many ways. I don't know what I could tell them this time that I didn't tell them last time.

I am viewed as a bit of the odd hippy aunt even though I am pretty mainstream looking, educated & I work in public health. I don't mind being viewed as a hippy

, but I think that it does affect how much they are willing to listen to me b/c they tend to think that I do everything in a way that they would never consider (extended BF, cosleeping, and so on).

Maybe I can lean heavily on my mother to talk to them since they might be more open to hearing something from her. When we were discussing circumcision when I was pg w/ dd #2 (didn't know she was a girl at the time), my mom said that, knowing what she knows now, she wouldn't have chosen to circumcise my brother.

Any other input on what to say to someone who has already heard & rejected all of the arguements would be welcome.

 

[SouthernMommaOf2]

I have a different view on this though. I personally think if you tried the first time around that maybe they have decided what they want for their family and you telling them otherwise will provoke a bad relationship. If you already told them before and they decided against it..they may not want to hear it again. I am just feeling for them as well...We all know what's best for our families and don't always need to share our opinions with others

:

I know I'm different

:
Mandi

 

[Eman'smom]

Christina, I'm in sort of the same boat, my sis is pregnant with a boy, her first, everytime I bring it up it's yeah I read it yeah I understand but..... Our relationship has never been great, and I'm already the "freaky" one, so this is just one of my "out there" ideas. I keep trying because I feel like I have to, what if the next thing I say or send her is the one that makes her change her mind.......

 

[Quirky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthernMommaOf2 I am just feeling for them as well...We all know what's best for our families and don't always need to share our opinions with others :

How is cutting off the most sensitive part of a boy's penis best for his "family?" What do they get out of it that trumps his right to have the whole body he was born with? Would you be OK with a family, say from an African tribal culture, cutting off their baby daughter's clitoris because "it's best for their family?" What if it were your brother's daughter that might happen to?

To the OP - I do think it's a great idea to have your mom talk to them. And I do think it's worth another shot. Be prepared for failure, though - they are not going to want to admit they made an awful mistake, and are probably going to defend their decision to the death.

 

[njeb]

How about sharing with them the Penn and Teller episode about circ.? It does contain profanity and adult humor, but it might persuade them when nothing else wouldn't.
Also, try sharing something that a doctor or nurse has written. I don't know what their attitude towards the medical profession is, but if they're the type that thinks that MD stands for Medical Deity, then something written by a doctor might reach them.
Good luck!

 

[ChristaN]

Thank you all for the input. Unfortunately, it is now moot. We just found out today that they lost the baby. SIL was 18 weeks along & I don't know all of what happened, but I guess that the circ discussion no longer matters, at least for now.

 

[Mommiska]

I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

[Quirky]

That's very sad. I'm sorry for their loss.

 

[bell bottom blues]

I'm very sad for them as well.

I know that they will need time to grieve, and feel supported.

After that, if you think that they might try again, then there may be a time when you'll feel comfortable approaching them with more info, so that they will have ample time to consider it before another possible pregnancy.

 

[ChristaN]

Thank you again. We sent them a little rose bush & a sympathy card, but I do think that I will give them time to grieve for now. In talking with my brother, it does sound like they are leaning toward trying again at some point, so we may be having this discussion again.

When it is time, I may try that Penn & Teller show since it sounds like my brother's type of humor. I'll just keep an eye on Showtime's listings so that I can causually mention that I thought he might find it interesting or something like that.