trying to explain death

I found that I needed to be really clear about my own beliefs about death and then I just simplified it.

I told my kids that their grandpa's body stopped working. I told them that we all live on the earth for awhile and when our soul is done living here, our body stops working and our soul leaves to go back to the spirit world.

I have told them that it is possible to talk to spirits/souls, some people can see them, some can hear them. Grandpa always watches us, he sees everything we do and he still loves us as much as we love him.

The kids often say that they wish he was still here or hadn't died and I say I feel that way too.

Sometimes my kids ask technical questions about how his body stopped, where he died, where his body is, etc. Sometimes they ask about other things like souls and spirits.

If you know what you believe it makes it easier to simplify it and explain it. The questions keep coming and get more tricky as they get older, so if you are clear about it now, it will help.

I have had two children die. A little girl who is a twin to my 4 yr old while I was pregnant with them and our son who died when he was 4 month 1 week who is the twin to my 2 yr old. Because of my children's exposure to death and birth. It is a matter of fact for them. They experienced the death of 2 siblings, the birth of other siblings and the homebirth of our 6 month old. My little ones still ask why our son died. I tell them that he was born in a body that was not healthy and it was his time to go back home to Heavenly Father. My children occasionally see their siblings even now and ask me for confirmation of what they experience. I tell them that there will be times through out there lives when they may have their siblings or grandparents that have died around when they really need them because no matter if we are alive or dead we are still family and we still love and care about one another. I find that if I validate their experiences and focus on the fact that we are all still family they seemed to be conforted and strengthened by it. There are still the tears and that is normal and healthy too.

My mom (age 84) died from cancer last summer. She'd been diagnosed only 5 weeks before. My daughter was a couple of months past 3.
We had kept her at her house and used hospice. We were all at the house later on the day that she had died. After a while, dd asked "where's Grammy?" We said "Grammy died". She repeated it, then went back to playing. About 30 minutes later she asked "what does died mean?" I took her into the bedroom and she laid on Grammy's bed. I explained that Grammy had gotten very, very sick and because her body was old she just couldn't get better. I told her that Grammy had been very happy to have the chance to know her and that even though we couldn't see her anymore she would always be here (tapped dd's head) and here (tapped her heart)...moment of panic when she said "Grammy's in my HEAD?!" But I quickly explained that she could always close her eyes and think of Grammy, and she'd be there. She was cool with that and asked if she could jump on the bed. LOL
About a month later she said "Grammy's dead, right?" I said yes. Then she closed her eyes, said "hi Grammy", then, in a really odd voice said "hi". She popped her eyes open and said "she IS there!"