[miriam_bat_avraham]

So, since I'm trying to distract myself for a few months until we can start trying... let's talk family planning!

What kind of family, genders of children, spacing do you want? Does it resemble the family you or SO (if you have an SO) grew up in? The exact opposite? What factors are part of your decision?

I originally wanted to have two very close in age, so I could go back to work for a few years while they were in school and then see if we could afford more. I have a few friends with two close in age, though, and I've been told very vehemently about how tough it is to have two little guys at once, especially two in diapers! I've come around to wanting to space my kids out a bit so that they can all enjoy their "baby" time, so at least 2 1/2 to 3 years in between. I also want to foster and/or foster-to-adopt, and my husband is coming around to the idea as well

so that will factor in.

Ultimately, I want two girls and one boy... I've got the names all picked out!

Any kids on top of those are icing on the cake, hee. But of course, I'll take any children G-d sends to us... we don't always know what's best for our lives without G-d's guidance

and the children we're meant to have will come to us, I believe in that.

FWIW, I'm the oldest child and only girl in a 5-kid family. There are 10 1/2 years between my youngest brother and I (I'm 26, he's almost 16). I love my huge, loud, rambunctious family

So how about the rest of you? I'm very fond of a lot of you on these boards and I'm so curious!

 

[stealthmode]

We're planning on 2, at the moment, but I know that might change. We're both from families of 4 kids, I'm the oldest and DH is second oldest. We want 2 for financial reasons and because I would really like to go back and get my master's degree at some point. We're aiming to space them about 4 years apart and be done by 30.

I have always wanted a girl. I'm not a very girly person in most respects and was raised in a pretty gender-neutral way, and I've always wanted to impart some of those characteristics and values to another female. I am getting used to the idea of a boy though. (The world needs more feminist men, too!) I think if we had two boys I would seriously consider trying for or adopting a girl, but if we had two girls I don't think I would feel the same way.

I'm like you in that I would like to foster or foster-to-adopt, but I'm not sure it will be right for us...I might just continue to work in a field where I can help kids in troubled situations. We will see, I guess!

(Also in response to the sibling age spread in your family--I'm 24 and I have sisters who are 21 and 15, and a brother who is 12.)

 

[morganeldi]

I have a soon to be 3 year old son right now, and I feel like he's just now getting to the point where I could handle having another one sanely (including being pregnant). But that's me, and I am not a super high energy person and like my life to be pretty laid back, plus he's been a high maintanance baby/toddler, not as much anymore. We are planning to start TTC next month and if we are lucky enough to concieve in the first few months we will be looking at close to 4 years apart. I think for me that is perfect, he will be even more independant than he is now, and understand the whole thing better...plus he will be in preschool (half days I'm guessing) which would give me a few hours in the morning with just the baby. It's on the cusp IMO of possibly being too far apart to relate but I think it is still possible. My sister and I were 6 years apart and really not close at all, never shared any of the same interests etc. But it is also a personality thing.

When I had my Son I really wanted a girl, and had no idea what to do with a boy. But now that I *have* a boy I wouldn't trade it for the world and would actually love to have another boy! A boy would be cool cause I am familiar with having a boy now, and they could have so much fun as brothers. But a girl would be fun for something different and all those adorable clothes (but also I might go broke haha). Also I could see a sweet relationship with a boy and younger sister. So I can honestly say I don't really care either way! Someday I would love to have a girl though. I'm not sure if I want more than 2 or not but I could definitely see myself adopting in the future after this next baby. I think I'm seeing maybe 3 kids in my life....maybe a third in another 3-4 years after the next baby is born, and maybe longer than that. It depends how we are feeling about our family at that point. I really don't know and don't want to close the door on any possibility!

My BFF has 2 girls 2 1/2 years apart and for THEM its a pretty nice age difference, but her daughter was much more independant at a younger age than my son, and my bff had easier pregnancies so I can see that for them the closer age range was perfect.... 3.5-4ish years for me I think will be perfect. You may not really know how you feel until after your first is here.