Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi I am new here but really need someone to talk to. I can't seem to find many people in the same situation as me where I am trying for my second and my 1st is already 12. I am having such a bad time lately with dealing with TTC and all the comments, etc we get from family/ friends. I am 32 and my husband is 42. We have been TTC more than 9 months straight and off and on before then- so not sure if I should count that time or not. If so then it has been more than a year. Since I have wanted another one (I have wanted another baby since my 1st son went to kindergarden - he is now in 7th grade- hubby wanted to wait though) I have seen over 17 people I know get pregnant and/or gave birth. Just this past year alone it has been 4! Last night we found out my sister in law, who does drugs, drinks, etc. is now pregnant! She has animals she does not even take care of and have been neglected for days without food or water! I am sorry if I sound so mean or hateful which is one of the problems- I have never been like that before. I do not want to have feelings like that and even though it hurts I AM glad for the one's who are responsible, grown up enough and REALLY want a baby, especially if they have had to struggle- as I now know the heartache they have gone through. It is just she does not deserve it! She did not even want a baby! She only wants it just so she won't have to work anymore and it will get her husband off her back because he does want one since his dad died almost 2 yrs ago. She even told me that!!! She got pregnant on the first month! I feel like what is wrong with me that I must be such a bad person or something- why can't it happen for me if it can happen so easy for someone like her? I have so many people I know that say I should just be happy with what I have. That I already have a child. Like it is supposed to hurt less that way? Some days it is all I can think about and don't even care about anything else or care to even get up and face the world. Other days I get to the point where I just want to give up on trying anymore. I am so sick of hearing also that we should not even be trying because our first son is too old now. It is stupid to be trying. I have even heard comments that it will happen if god thinks we deserve it. "He gives babies to ones that deserve them". So the drug addict, the one in the family who just abandoned her 1st, and the one who has had 5 abortions deserves to have one and get pregnant with no trying!? I am starting to feel really stupid about myself and trying after all the comments. I know though I can't ever truly be happy if it does not happen for us...If anyone else is out there dealing with what I am please talk with me. I have no one around me who I can talk to. I promise to try to be more positive as I don't want to bring anyone else down and I know it will help me knowing someone else is going through the same situation and I am not alone.