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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Didn't see any recent threads covering this issue, and I'm having some reservations. Hoping to get some insight from other mommies.<br>
I'm scheduled to do the deed 9/30. Totally makes sense from a logical perspective. We just added #5. Finances are what you'd expect of a family of seven with one income. I'm 28yo, kinda young for it, but not so young as to be naive about what I want for the rest of my life. Got pregnant on the Pill twice.<br>
Right now I don't want anymore. I question how well I'd be able to parent if we had more, but maybe that's newborn sleep-deprivation talking.<br>
On the other hand, I haven't had a girl baby and that's something I've always wanted. I don't like the idea of forever closing the door on that possibility.<br>
What have your experiences been? Would you do it again?
 

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Wow, what a choice to make. I say that if you unsure about having the operation done that you should wait a few months and re-assess.<br><br>
But that is JMO. I take things very slow when making such life altering decisions.
 

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well, if it were me, i don't think i could do it.. even if i had 7 kids, i don't know if i could say for sure 'this is my last baby, the last time i'll be pregnant, give birth, breastfeed, and mother a newborn"... i just can't make such a permanent decision! sure, you could get a reversal done, but it's not always effective.<br><br>
i'd wait, explore other options, think about it.
 

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I haven't personally gotten that far yet, but I have a friend who told me she waited a full year after her second child was born before going through the tubal ligation, and she's glad she did. If it was me, I think I'd wait. I know that when Eli was a few weeks old, I swore that all his siblings would be adopted becuase I was never going through childbirth again. Now we're TTC #2. :LOL Definately wait until you're past the newborn period. The world will be a different place, and you'll feel better about whichever decision you make. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Well, I had one done during the C-section to deliver my second child, and I'm incredibly comfortable with the decision I made. BUT my circumstances are very different from yours. We have two children (boy and girl) but I'm already 40 and both pregnancies were high risk for a variety of factors. For me it was a matter of not wanting to face the odds of another pregnancy, for me or the baby.<br><br>
I asked myself lots of questions about what I would want if things happened. What would I do if my husband died (or left me)? Would I want to start another family? Would I want my husband to start another family if something happened to me? (That answer was yes, so that ruled out a vasectomy for us). What would I do if one (or more) of my children were killed? Whould I want another child? Only after I realized that I could forsee NO circumstances that would make me want to have more children did I proceed with confidence.<br><br>
I hate to sound condescending, but you sound awfully young to make this decision. Have you considered some of the longer-term birth control options? There are so many new choices now. Maybe one would be more effective for you than the pill. I would have a very long consultation with your OB/GYN before proceeding if I were you. I think your doubts are a good signal that this isn't the right decision.
 

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I completely understand your concerns since you got pregnant on the pill twice but if you have ANY questions about having permanent contraception, I would encourage you to postpone the surgery. Although there are reversal procedures, they are far from perfect and are pretty expensive. IUDs get a bad rap but I absolutely love mine (I have the Mirena IUD which is progesterone based). I am as certain as I think I will ever be that I don't want to have any more children but I decided not to have a surgery when there were other good options out there. I too got pregnant while taking the pill and I couldn't have gone back to it. There is also a patch version of the pill that you apply once a week. I personally didn't trust it since I hadn't missed any pills or been on any antibiotics or any of the things they say decrease its efficacy but I know other people who have used it and like it.
 

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I had one after my last baby, who was also born c-section. I was 39. I am single, with the dad being an unreliable sort. I was and still am quite certain NO more babies...I am totally happy with my decision. I sometimes get a little pang, but nothing more than a brief, fleeting pang.<br><br><br>
I totally agree with Evan and Anna's mom. The questions you have to ask are hard ones, and you must be certain of your answers.<br><br>
If your husband died, and you miraculously found love again, would you want to have a baby with your new mate?<br><br>
If your entire family was killed somehow, would you want to have another baby?<br><br>
If you won the lottery, would you want to have another babe?<br><br>
I can totally understand not wanting to hassle with contraception. I can also see how it might seem so overwhelming to have so many people rely on you. It is a huge decision. Don't make it one you may regret. If you decide it it what you want, get help with the kids while you recooperate. Any surgery wipes one out. You will need a few days, at least to heal and grieve a bit.
 

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If you are not 100% sure <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">: that you are done with childbearing you might want to think about getting an IUD.Its not hormonal so if you are bfing you don't have to worry about it getting into your milk and if you decide to try for that daughter its immediately reversible.Also its less expensive than trying to get a tubal ligation reversed as well as less physically invasive.
 

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DH and I just had a conversation about this yesterday, although we were talking about him getting a vasectomy, which I totally love that he will do (b/c I would rather not have to do a tubal myself!). He was thinking that he would get snipped (his words) after baby #2, which is due to arrive in about 10 weeks. We have talked for years about whether we will have 2 or 3, or adopt, etc. While I am leaning toward 2 bios, adopting later if we feel that urge, I am not quite ready to make it a final decision and was somewhat surprised that he was.<br><br>
Long story short, my opinion was that if we aren't completely sure, why do it now? #2 isn't even here yet. I definitely need to see what live is like with the new one around before knowing more. Your newborn isn't that old yet. Maybe postpone a bit and see where you stand then?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I went for the IUD. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, especially my husband, but I just wasn't ready. I'm much more comfortable with this decision. After my other births I wanted to wait a long time before doing it again, if ever. This time, though, I'm ready to go again as soon as my body says okay. Now I just ahve to convince my husband.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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I had my tubes tied the day after my youngest ds turned one. I was 24 years old. I waited till he was a year old (1) just to be on the "safe" side (2) because I wanted a whole year to think about it :LOL I am pleased with the decision I have made. After a year with two children in addition to going to school, I know I made the right decision. Having a tubal ligation done is no small thing-- if you aren't 99.99% sure, why do it?
 

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I had a tubal during my c section with the third child. Mine was mostly due to medical reasons which could have been deadly for me or baby.<br>
Having the tubal also left me with the ability to have another biological child through in vitro so I was ok with that.<br><br>
Last year I needed a hysterectomy, that was final and a different story.
 
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