I have a toddler with a Turkish man. We have never been married, and we all spend about 10-12 hours a week together. We have no relationship beyond co-parenting this child, but he's a great father and we usually get along well.<br><br>
There will soon be an aunt, uncle, and 2 young cousins moving to the area, but otherwise there is no other family in the states.<br><br>
I always thought it was very sad that people "lose" their cultural identity. I am all for people fully embrace being "American" and I certainly think everyone who wants to live here should adapt to our customs and respect our laws, learn our language, etc, but it is so sad that children and grandchildren of immigrants lose touch with their backgrounds. I don't think it is good that we become totally homogenized.<br><br>
I had family come to the US on the Mayflower and in the 1700's from England and Scotland. But my baby's father has only been here 15 years from Turkey. I never paid much attention to Turkey before--thought it had a funny name, was famous for bath towels, and that was about it.<br><br>
In the past 2 1/2 years since I met this Turkish man, I have taken great interest in Turkish history and culture. And the food is fantastic, for the most part. I just tried Tarhaha soup and I probably won't try it again, but I make "Turkish" food several times a week at my house. My baby loves it and it is as healthful as it is delicious (well, too much baklava isn't a good thing...).<br><br>
I do NOT find the Turkish language to be very pleasing to the ear and we had a hard time finding a baby name that we both liked. I guess I have just heard more Spanish, French, Italian, or German and Turkish just seems really strange and there are NO words or phrases that are commonly used in English conversation or songs (like "adios!" or "c'est la vie" or "Ciao" or "danke schoen"). However, I have a strong desire to learn enough Turkish to have a meaningful conversation with my child's grandmother. We spent a lot of time together when she was here for a month-long visit and we did pretty well at making ourselves understood with gestures, etc. and we taught each other some words. Even more so, I want to be able to teach my child so she can talk to her grandparents. We can learn together, I guess. It is hard since we're not around native speakers much.<br><br>
I'd love to get with some other mothers of kids who are Turkish or whose kids are bi-lingual and have a playgroup. I'm not sure how to find them, and I kind of would like to avoid making friends with wives of friends of my baby's father. He knows a lot of people in town, but I'm sure he doesn't know everyone, especially if they don't play soccer and if they don't hang out at coffee houses and restaurants. He's kind of protective of his friends and I don't want to intrude into that area of his life. We run into people he knows all the time and he will introduce the baby as his daughter, and me by name and will identify me as the mother of his child, but we don't socialize together beyond his visitation time with the baby, which is more frequent when he has family visiting. I do get the distinct impression that although I'm not a secret, he doesn't want me socializing with HIS friends.<br><br>
Coincidentally, there was a Turkish woman who had a baby at the same hospital as me at about the same time. The nurse said the woman spoke no English and the husband didn't speak much, so it was kind of hard on everyone, but I think all went okay. I think that family had an older child, too, but I guess because of privacy issues, they didn't introduce us. I'd love to meet up with her sometime and our kids are exactly the same age--which is so cool.<br><br>
I wonder if anyone has any suggestions on how to help my child revel in her "Turkishness"?
There will soon be an aunt, uncle, and 2 young cousins moving to the area, but otherwise there is no other family in the states.<br><br>
I always thought it was very sad that people "lose" their cultural identity. I am all for people fully embrace being "American" and I certainly think everyone who wants to live here should adapt to our customs and respect our laws, learn our language, etc, but it is so sad that children and grandchildren of immigrants lose touch with their backgrounds. I don't think it is good that we become totally homogenized.<br><br>
I had family come to the US on the Mayflower and in the 1700's from England and Scotland. But my baby's father has only been here 15 years from Turkey. I never paid much attention to Turkey before--thought it had a funny name, was famous for bath towels, and that was about it.<br><br>
In the past 2 1/2 years since I met this Turkish man, I have taken great interest in Turkish history and culture. And the food is fantastic, for the most part. I just tried Tarhaha soup and I probably won't try it again, but I make "Turkish" food several times a week at my house. My baby loves it and it is as healthful as it is delicious (well, too much baklava isn't a good thing...).<br><br>
I do NOT find the Turkish language to be very pleasing to the ear and we had a hard time finding a baby name that we both liked. I guess I have just heard more Spanish, French, Italian, or German and Turkish just seems really strange and there are NO words or phrases that are commonly used in English conversation or songs (like "adios!" or "c'est la vie" or "Ciao" or "danke schoen"). However, I have a strong desire to learn enough Turkish to have a meaningful conversation with my child's grandmother. We spent a lot of time together when she was here for a month-long visit and we did pretty well at making ourselves understood with gestures, etc. and we taught each other some words. Even more so, I want to be able to teach my child so she can talk to her grandparents. We can learn together, I guess. It is hard since we're not around native speakers much.<br><br>
I'd love to get with some other mothers of kids who are Turkish or whose kids are bi-lingual and have a playgroup. I'm not sure how to find them, and I kind of would like to avoid making friends with wives of friends of my baby's father. He knows a lot of people in town, but I'm sure he doesn't know everyone, especially if they don't play soccer and if they don't hang out at coffee houses and restaurants. He's kind of protective of his friends and I don't want to intrude into that area of his life. We run into people he knows all the time and he will introduce the baby as his daughter, and me by name and will identify me as the mother of his child, but we don't socialize together beyond his visitation time with the baby, which is more frequent when he has family visiting. I do get the distinct impression that although I'm not a secret, he doesn't want me socializing with HIS friends.<br><br>
Coincidentally, there was a Turkish woman who had a baby at the same hospital as me at about the same time. The nurse said the woman spoke no English and the husband didn't speak much, so it was kind of hard on everyone, but I think all went okay. I think that family had an older child, too, but I guess because of privacy issues, they didn't introduce us. I'd love to meet up with her sometime and our kids are exactly the same age--which is so cool.<br><br>
I wonder if anyone has any suggestions on how to help my child revel in her "Turkishness"?
