[RiceMomma]

Okay, I'm hoping those of you outside the picture can help me see what's really going on. You know how sometimes you're too close to it, you can't really see?<br><br>
My daughter is almost 6. She has been doing this thing for that past month that is really irritating me. I'm probably going to sound heartless when I say it, but she starts crying about stuff, I think it's just because she doesn't want to do it. She doesn't just cry, she bawls like a baby. It's like, I think to myself, whatever, she's faking.<br><br>
For instance, today, she is supposed to give a talk at church- it's just a little thing. This is something she loves to do, and wants to do. So I sit down with her to talk to her about it, tell her what the topic is and see what she would like to say about it, and she just starts bawling. I ask her why she is crying (I'm also getting seriously pissed off, because I feel like this isn't real.) She says the words are too big and she doesn't understand them. I explain the words to her (but I know they are words she does understand.) She keeps crying. So I get out some pictures for her to look at and to use for her talk. She starts crying again.<br><br>
Another thing that has involved lots of crying lately is violin practice. This is another thing she wanted to do, and she's getting pretty good at the songs she's learning (we use the Suzuki method, a very gentle respectful method.) She has a great teacher. But then when we practice and also at her lessons, she has started crying-- these songs are not hard for her. She could play them in her sleep. I thought maybe she was getting bored, but when we start to learn new songs, she does the same thing.<br><br>
I'm not asking her to do anything hard or anything that she hates to do. I feel like she is being lazy, she just wants me to do it for her, and she is crying to get what she wants. My husband thinks it's for attention.<br><br>
I want to be respectful to my children and their feelings. But this isn't a 6 month old baby who is crying for attention.<br><br>
Please don't think I'm a mean mom. Please help me see what I'm not seeing here. How can I handle this differently, or approach it differently? Help me, oh wise mamas!

 

[CarrieMF]

Does it happen at other times, or just during things where she needs to perform. Even though she does like them she may be feeling pressured or even burnt out from doing them. Is it possible for her to take a break from Violin. I am guessing the speaking at church is not a weekly thing.<br><br>
My oldest(8) went through a phase of fake crying. She does it now and then still but not like she did a year or 2 ago. When she did it she would literally say "wahhh" during it and you could tell she was really trying to force it. When she did this it was over things like cleaning her room.

 

[4evermom]

Does she do it with other people or just you? I'd be tempted to not sit down with her to do things like practicing her talk or violin unless she asked for help. Let her be responsible for it and show up prepared or unprepared. Of course, I'd be available to help if asked. And I would try to give her plenty of attention in general, more along the line of inviting her to join me for a walk, drive, reading stories, things with no perceivable agenda.<br><br>
Hopefully she is just trying out this new behavior and she'll get tired of it soon. My niece was about that age when she told me she cries because it makes people feel sorry for her and do what she wants.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

 

[oliversmum2000]

how frustrating. maybe when she cries, you could just give her a hug and say that you can see whatever it is is bothering her, and perhaps you could try again later or another day whens she feels more like talking about it, and not pursue the subject. maybe she is just trying to get some control in her life?<br><br>
my ds who is 6 just came through an exceptionally challenging phase, where he was going through an emotional growth spurt. everything was confrontational and virtually impossible. he has come through it now and seems so much more mature now than he was pre-difficult phase.<br><br>
could it be a lack of sleep, this is one of the things i focused on with my 6yo that seemed to help (i read sleepless in america) and also, i was trying to get him to focus on things at the wrong time of day. in my mind getting homework out of the way as soon as he got home from school with a snack was a good plan, for him it was a horrendous plan. after we changed it (home and snack at 4pm, dinner at 5pm, upstairs to bath and feed the baby while he does his homework 6pm) it was amazing the change in his attitude to his work.<br><br>
big hugs to you both, 6 can be a very difficult age.