[NoraJadesMama]

Hi mamas! I am curious if any of you have encountered rude behavior from your children that they seem to have learned from a TV show? And if so, how did you handle it? TIA!

 

[Tyleah]

Turn the TV off. Read Endangered Minds by Jane Healey (may have mispelled the name, but it can be found easily in most libraries).

 

[Dar]

The same as rude behavior that seemed to be inspired by a book, or a friend, or a movie, or a song...<br><br>
Dar

 

[annettemarie]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>NoraJadesMama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi mamas! I am curious if any of you have encountered rude behavior from your children that they seem to have learned from a TV show? And if so, how did you handle it? TIA!</div>
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Absolutely... although he has also picked up rude behavior from listening to Boxcar Children books on tape, reading Ramona books aloud, and a Tom Chapin tape. I think children are just wired to imitate the worse of anything they hear/see. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Annette

 

[MamaRenee]

I have. I usually act immediately to curb the behavior, whether it's explaining why it's inappropriate to just redirecting, depending on what it may be. Again, depending on what it is, we may completely quit watching whatever led to the problem. But, my dd's tv time is limited and pretty selective on my part, so it doesn't happen to often. Typically, when it does, it's something pretty mild, though irritating.

 

[maya44]

I really would not blame T.V. too much. Kids can pick up stuff lots of places.<br><br>
With very young kids, I'd just mention it quickly. With other kids, in the middle of a discussion of something else you are asking your dc to do, I myself, would not even mention it. Otherwise a request to pick up clothes can too easily morph into a discussion of rude behavior.<br><br>
Rather if I want to comment on behavior, I "do it later" like at night. "Today when i asked you to pick up your clothes, your really spoke to me rudely. I don't like that."

 

[annab]

We have a Dr. Seuss CD where he has picked up some choice phrases. How they find them out of 70 minutes of audio is beyond me!

 

[UnschoolnMa]

Honestly, this has never happened to me/my kids. My son did ask me once why "karate guys" on TV were kicking some guys and being mean. If anything, whenever stuff comes up they just asked me about it.

 

[mommyofshmoo]

I agree that rude behavior comes from everywhere. I freaked when I saw dd watching South Park with him once. But I think she's probably learned the more bad language from watching me drive.<br><br>
Sometimes I wonder if they actually need to "pick it up" somewhere or whether the desire to be rude is inherent. The words and phrases they can pick up wherever, but the sentiment is kinda part of the human emotional repertoire methinks.

 

[LunaMom]

Don't blame it on the TV! I don't let my daughter watch the kinds of shows where rude behavior is common, but after reading her the Ramona books (which I love - I'm not knocking them at all), she decided to try to "make a big noisy fuss" when she didn't get her way. I reminded her that she was not Ramona and that was that.<br><br>
It's true that a lot of shows aimed at kids include rude or smart-mouthed characters, so it's good to screen what your kids watch.

 

[Autumnschild]

I noticed a lot of rude behavior that my 2.5 yr old picked up from TV. It is imitation, more than actual rudeness, so it gives me the opportunity to discuss why it isn't nice to say these things to people. That everything we see on TV is not OK. Lately, she's started the "I wants" due to the commercials pushing products for Xmas. So for now, we're just watching PBS and videos. But even The Lion King, her fave...she started calling everyone "Murderer!"...how do I explain that one to a 2 yr old?<br><br>
We can't protect our kids from being influenced by other's behavior. The best we can do is to explain and teach right from wrong. At least with TV, there is an option to be there and to discuss it at the time. KWIM?

 

[UrbanPlanter]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>NoraJadesMama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi mamas! I am curious if any of you have encountered rude behavior from your children that they seem to have learned from a TV show? And if so, how did you handle it? TIA!</div>
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nak<br><br><span><span style="font-size:xx-large;"><b>absolutely, without a doubt!</b></span></span><br>
all kids I know who are tv-watchers exhibit some range of attitude which apparently comes from tv. it could be a lot, or very little; it can depend on the child's temperament or amount of exposure, but it's there: agression; rudeness; meanspiritedness; hyperactivity; short attention span; inability to self-entertain....<br><br>
all the kids I know who are tv-free are completely void of these habits.<br><br>
turn off the tv!!!<br>
it's not that hard!!!<br>
I just did it myself - see the link in my siggee <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
p.s. re: books - I am selective and I preview them before reading them to DS - and avoid any that portray whatever ds may not be ready for, like competitiveness or meanspiritednes.

 

[raleigh_mom]

Yes, I have seen some behaviors directly related to TV shows. An example is my daughter learning to say "I'm bored!" She was quoting from an Aurthur show she had just seen. I quickly and calmly told her that is not how we talk in our house, and if she is bored, she can play with her toys, her sister, or help me with chores. She now corrects others if they say it. Yes, she has also picked up behaviors from me, DH, and other sources, but such is life.<br><br>
My response? We do still watch TV sometimes (like right now) but I am very choosey about what is on. Absolutely no Aurthur or Calliou. We do enjoy Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, Between the Lions, Little Bear, Stanley, and Maya and Miguel among others. Just not all on the same day.<br><br>
If I can feel a day of TV coming, I'll try to stop it before it starts. This morning I was exhausted and if we'd stayed home we would have had the TV on. Instead I quick got dressed and fixed breakfast so we could make it to Library Storytime. I find winter the hardest, so I am trying to line up activities and playdates before it gets cold here.

 

[IncaMama]

I don't think that no-TV at all is the only answer...you can decide what your kids are allowed to watch...there are lots of wonderful TV shows that will not model any of the rude behavior you're talking about, I think. of course, no TV at all isn't bad either...but I just don't see it as the only answer.

 

[Linda KS]

there are 2 seperate issues here -- dealing with bad behavior and dealing with TV. The less TV a child watches the better, and some shows are more problematic than others. However, even if you get rid of the TV at some point your child will see bad behavior. They will see if from another child, or they will learn to read and pick their own books. You cannot control everything in their world forever.<br><br>
When my kids have shown bad behavior we've talked about it. If it is something they saw modeled someplace we talk about that. I'm clear about my expectations of them without punishing/blaming/naming calling.<br><br>
My kids watch some TV and they are great kids. They do not show "agression; rudeness; meanspiritedness; hyperactivity; short attention span; inability to self-entertain...." at all.

 

[IncaMama]

what's wrong with saying "i'm bored"? i agree that the response to feeling bored is to find something to do, but is there a problem with articulating boredom?

 

[NoraJadesMama]

Thanks mamas! I'm interested in what you're saying!<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:

 

[maya44]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Linda KS</strong></div>
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My kids watch some TV and they are great kids. They do not show "agression; rudeness; meanspiritedness; hyperactivity; short attention span; inability to self-entertain...." at all.</div>
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<br>
ITA. My children are exceptionally well behaved. Their play is very creative. They are allowed to do what they want in THEIR free time, including watch TV.<br><br>
No forbidden fruit is my motto.

 

[mamaduck]

There has been nothing lately to make me feel concerned. However, when my oldest was a toddler, there were a couple instances that made me worry. Once, I was changing his diaper and he was unhappy with it... he started making strange jabbing motions at my chest and saying something convluted that I took to be along the lines of, <i>"stake the evil mommy in the heart and kill her...."</i> Figured out DH was letting him sit with him and watch Buffy while I was at work!!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> I put a stop to that.<br><br>
Then when he was slightly older he started calling me and DH some new names - his speech was really hard to understand though and we didn't know what it was. We thought it was homie and bob... or something. And he started with some really disrespectful and wild back-talk around bedtime everynight. One day my mom realized that he was calling us "Homer and Marg!!!" He had totally stopped calling us mom and dad. And he was totally *being* Bart Simpson with his rude back-talk! It was such an "ah-hah" moment. So I banned the Simpsons too (my poor DH) and the behaviors and the nick-names gradually dissapeared.<br><br>
I'm a way stricter TV regulator than my DH is. And sometimes he's sneaky. But I only allow PBS and HGTV and I haven't seen anything worrisome related to those shows. Unless you count my oldest kid measuring the length of the room and proposing crown molding in the family room for a "new and classic look."

 

[UrbanPlanter]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Linda KS</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My kids watch some TV and they are great kids. They do not show "agression; rudeness; meanspiritedness; hyperactivity; short attention span; inability to self-entertain...." at all.</div>
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Just wanted to clarify: I was saying that all of the kids I know exhibit some or all of these traits to varying degrees. They don't all possess <i>all</i> of these traits. Some possess maybe only one of these traits; others a few; others, all...<br><br>
OTOH, of all of the kids I know who were raised with no tv whatsoever, none of them possess <i>any</i> of these traits, as far as I can tell. However, they could be influenced by other sources, as other posters here have said. TV is not the only factor in a child's upbringing. But it is very clear to me that it is <b>extremely insidious</b> in its effect on impressionable young minds. Not each and every mind; and I know there are many Mamas here who claim their kids are doing great even with unrestricted TV exposure (but their kids might be great even more so bc they have great Mamas who parent in a way that many kids do not have the great fortune to experience...)<br><br>
Anyway, long story short - if one suspects that their child is becoming adversely affected or influenced by TV exposure, I say that their suspicions are probably right on.<br><br>
-----------------<br><br>
Another thing that really bugs me about kids and TV (including my own; and, by the way, much of my observations include my own dc) is that they incorporate the marketing into their lifestyle. Before my ds was exposed to the Thomas cartoons, he enjoyed playing with his trains as trains, not aware of the names or stories that were tied into the packaged product. He was very creative in his play and it didn't matter to him what the names of the trains were, etc. Then he watched Thomas on TV one day, and his entire approach to playing with the trains was completely altered. He now identified the toys with the promotions he viewed during the Thomas program. He wasn't playing with a blue train anymore; now he was playing with "Thomas the Tank" and he had to have "Gordan" and "Emily" to complete his game. It became an obsession.<br><br>
Likewise, other programs were sucking him in. Whenever we were out-and-about and he saw "Elmo" or "Caillou" or "Clifford" or... he would get excited about it and want to have access to the represented object. And, he was learning about "buying" things... it was just a matter of time before he would be begging for me to get him more, more, more... it actually had begun just as we decided to turn off the TV completely.<br><br>
Also, even with the limited amount of TV my ds was exposed to, he was starting to internalize behavior he saw on TV and repeating it. And, it was mostly the undesirable behavior. And, yes, children are prone to imitate what they see, whether it is from TV, real life, movies, books... but TV is so obvious a problem, and so easy to resolve (turn it off).<br><br>
Now that we have been TV-Free for about a month, we have experienced wonderful, positive advances. DS is becoming more self-sufficient in entertaining himself. I can take a shower, make dinner, etc. while he plays. I don't ignore him, either. But I can be productive. Either he helps me, or he does his own thing near me. I don't "need" the TV to help my child zone out or stay quiet when I "need" him to. My ds doesn't ask for the tv anymore. We don't feel any desire to watch the tv. We spend more quality time togther as a family.<br><br>
By the way, when ds was watching TV, it was no more than 1/2 hour - 2 hours/day, and not necessarily every single day, and not usually 2 hours/day, either. More like 1hour/day average (1/2hr in the morning/1/2hr night, at the very most). So it was not a whole lot, but he was still becoming incredibly affected and influenced by it.<br><br>
When we go on playdates with kids who are TV-watchers, some of them have a hard time playing with my DS, who likes to engage in active play, like soccer, or tag, or hide-and-seek. Some of these kids just don't know how to play this way! And some, when they get bored, ask "do you want to watch TV?" There is nothing wrong with feeling bored. What's wrong is that kids want to resolve their boredom by staring at a piece of furniture.<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Plug-In Drug</span> is what solidified these concerns of mine. Reading this book was like having an epiphany. It describes how TV can actually re-wire a child's mind so that he becomes addicted to watching. How watching TV promotes ADD. Etc. etc. etc.<br><br>
One last note: the AAP, as mainstream as they are, dictates that no child under the age of two should watch any TV, ever. There must be an extremely compelling reason for them to publish this, especially given that TV itself is such a driving force that it could equally compel them NOT to say this in order to allow TV to further pursue its biggest market: children.