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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Everyone,<br><br>
I am new here so please excuse me if I make mistakes of a newbie.<br><br>
I guess I wanted to open a discussion about TV. First of all, we do not own a "TV" per se, but rather have a large monitor that can play movies, cartoons etc. from the computer. When my son was a baby, I swore I would avoid two things at all costs: TV and sugar. Well, he will be 2 next months and I've pitifully caved on both.<br><br>
The problem started when I returned to teaching casually and needed time to do class prep at home. I soon discovered the only way I could ensure quiet time, was to let Zion watch a cartoon.<br><br>
Well now its gotten out of control. Zion and I are both equally addicted. He's addcited to the stimulation and I to the, well, LACK of stimulation. I don't know how to stop. I notice a lot of behavior changes that may or may not be linked to his TV addiction. I feel like a terrible mother.<br><br>
Has anyone else been in this situation? How can I get my work done and not anesthetize my child with TV??? I want to get rid of the TV box altogether but am afraid I will NEVER get any work done then. Please, please, any advice and suggestions?<br><br>
So disappointed in myself,<br><br>
Terra<br>
Mama to Zion (April 10, 2004) and baby River (6 months in utero)
 

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My DS is tv free now and has been for several months, but I used to let him watch videos, and had to stop when I found myself popping the video into the vcr several times a day. Once you start them watching tv, it's so, so easy to just let it increase more and more because of the time you get for yourself, which is like gold. I'm in a bit of a different boat than you are, since I don't work, but we just restructured our day so I could get the things I needed to get done, done. We have a set schedule in our house, so DS knows what to expect now, and I know when I'm going to get some time to take care of things, and about how long I'll have. In the mornings, when I shower, I put DS in his room, which is so wildly babyproofed I would be entirely baffled if he managed somehow to hurt himself. He is expected to play with his toys in his room until I get out of the shower and let him into the bathroom. So, I guess one tip would be to have one room that's so incredibly safe that your DS can be left alone in it for a period of time (of course, I always leave the bathroom door open so I can hear DS. We haven't had any incidents of unhappiness yet, but if he were to start crying or obviously wanting out, I'd let him out). My DS still takes an afternoon nap that can be pretty lengthy if we hit the park earlier in the day. And he goes to bed early (7:30). You might want to try making sure he goes outside and gets a ton of exercise every day, rain or shine, so he conks out for a nap or at least gets to bed a little earlier.<br><br>
If you have the funds, you might see about hiring a neighborhood teenager or someone to come in and play with your son while you get a little work done.<br><br>
I found that once I got used to the tv being off, my patience level increased, so things were easier to deal with. Eventually, you'll get used to it and it won't be a big deal at all.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
WOW Anna,<br><br>
Thanks for the encouragement. I know the only way to deal with this IS to go completely TV free. I've known this since the problem began. I keep thinking...once I am done work...when the new baby comes...when its spring...blah blah blah blah. I know it's what HAS to be done. I am not one for moderation.<br><br>
I am curious--how did your DS's behavior change once TV left his life?
 

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Ack...not everybody here will like how I deal with this. But I can go for days and not put my DD in front of the television. But my life goes a bit differently. You see, I use a play pen, and my DD likes her play pen. There are toys in there that she never sees otherwise. And it gives her a chance to think her own thoughts and be safely independent of me. (I'm a 24 hour mom. I think my poor DD must get sick of me sometimes! LOL!) Many moms here don't believe in the use of the play pen-- but ummmmm....<i>what did moms do prior to television,</i> when they needed a break??? Personally, I don't know how some moms here go the bathroom or get a sanity break without being able to put their kids down for a few minutes. But to each her own, right?<br><br>
Faith<br>
(Oh...my dd also still takes two naps a day. Who knows how life will be when she gives those up.)
 

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I feel tempted to use the TV a lot, but haven't given in yet.<br><br>
Like you, I teach PT and it's impossible to do class prep that involves the computer while DD is awake. She barely naps--maybe 1-1/2 hours all day, and usually some or all of that is in the car/jogging stroller so it's not feasible work time. She used to take a 30-45 minute nap in the morning and I could get a few things done then, but lately I can waste two hours trying to get her to nap, and it still won't happen. (And going to the bathroom by myself? Hahahahahahaha. As if)<br><br>
I wish she would play happily in her room without me, or happily in a playpen, but she's more of a hands-on child.<br><br>
So, I now shower at night while DH is home so he can get her if she wakes up while I'm in there (which she does at least once a month if not more), and 98% of my class prep, grading, etc, gets done after she goes to bed for the night. It's cutting into my own sleep, but it's the only workable solution...unless I manage to convince her to stare mindlessly at the TV....<br><br>
I know leaving the TV off is better for all involved, but I think it can be hard not getting a break, especially if your DC is like mine and wants your constant attention and rarely naps. You might try limiting the amount of TV he's allowed to see (and you're allowed to take advantage of), and perhaps slowly wean yourself down. Putting the TV in an inconvenient spot might help too.
 

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Hi I am an open tv freak. My tv stays on ALL day, unless we are gone. I live in a tiny apartment, where the living room is next to the bedroom where my dh is sleeping all day cos he works nights. If the tv wasnt on, dh would wake up. He needs the background noise I think, to drown out ds(2). DS never watches tv. It is on..usually on some music network or news network or whatever. I dont watch it either. I am usually on the pc working on and off, and he is usually playing with his cars, or painting, or drawing, or blocks, or something. He only watches, I mean watches, the teletubbies. I have one video of the teletubbies that I bought at a thrift store for 50 cents and its got lots of dancing on it, which he loves and i will pop that in if its 4am and i am still dozing or if he is really grouchy(which is rare). He just doesnt like the tv. I dont feel guilty, at all. My older son LOVED the tv, wathcing endless amnounts of barney and this one video from the library that had no talking just diggers pulling trees out of the fields. Although I still spent time with him, he just would beg and beg for these two particular videos. He is 12 now, and rarely if ever watches tv, only watching really american idol. My point is, i dunno. just to say that we are not scared of the tv nor do we worship it. but you can bet my butt i am not going through life feeling guilty about it!
 

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Do you all think there's a difference between having the tv on (with a news program, or something like that) and having a specific program on just for dd?<br><br>
I like to watch a news program in the morning, and I sometimes watch the news at noon. The tv is on all evening (news, then whatever program dh and I like to watch). We've never put in a dvd or tuned into a show specifically for dd...mostly because most of the kids' programming drives me up the wall. dd doesn't usually pay much attention to the tv, except for commercials (which has driven me to severely cut my daytime tv, but that's another story). I think for our family we'll hold off on introducing any specific tv shows to dd (she's 15 months) until she's older.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">but ummmmm....what did moms do prior to television, when they needed a break??? Personally, I don't know how some moms here go the bathroom or get a sanity break without being able to put their kids down for a few minutes. But to each her own, right?</td>
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May not work for all however since DS was an infant he viewed what I did around the house whether that was on my hip in the sling or crawling and walking around, playing near by. Babies learn best from viewing the world around them. About needing to go to the bathroom for us it isnt a big deal if he wants to be in their he is. I have to say he was also fully out of diapers night and day at 16 months old which im sure helped to have him see mama and daddy go to the bathroom. Maybe just us though worked.<br><br>
DS at 29 months doesnt complain he is bored he will either work along side me willingly helping to load/unload laundry, baking or by himself pretending he is something he made up.<br><br>
He has one great imagination of his own.<br><br>
Michele
 

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Yep that is so true. My ds always works beside me. At 2 he dusts, washes tables and floors, washes dishes(well his lol) *cooks* a messy concoction of flour and water with a little food colouring, and whatever else i am doing, he does. Yeah, its annoying sometimes but hey, at least he is learning something. And he most ALWAYS watches me go to the bathroom/brush my hair/get dressed(bras are boobie things and he laughs when he sees them). Didnt help with his potty training though. He even flushes for me lol.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Do you all think there's a difference between having the tv on (with a news program, or something like that) and having a specific program on just for dd?</td>
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Yeah, I honestly do I would be aware of what was showing ( media ) especially with very little ones they absorb everything that they hear ( besides its all hyped up, negative info anyways). I think its sad when I hear little ones so fearful of war, hurricanes and more. they shouldnt have to be consumed with it all . They should just enjoy their childhood. . I want my son to not worry in his childhood years and enjoy it as much as possible. His only worry if any should be what toy he wants to play with , if its nice out<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
michele
 

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Terra if youu honestly think you are both addicted and that it is taking hours out of the day then I would suggest cold turkey just shutting it off, getting rid of cable. It may take a week or so for your child to learn to be without it however you will probably see a positive change. Maybe start making little schedules or rhythms for the day where your child knows what to expect next.<br><br>
michele
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ArlyShellandKai</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Terra if youu honestly think you are both addicted and that it is taking hours out of the day then I would suggest cold turkey just shutting it off, getting rid of cable. It may take a week or so for your child to learn to be without it however you will probably see a positive change. Maybe start making little schedules or rhythms for the day where your child knows what to expect next.<br><br>
michele</div>
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Thanks Michele. The thing is, we don't even HAVE TV. No cable, not even rabbit ears. We have a big broken TV "box" that plays stream I send to it from the computer. Mostly DS watches old Soviet cartoons (since my husband in Ukranian). I am fantacizing about getting rid of the "TV box" altogther. I think its the only option since I am horrible at moderation. Its been really great reading all your replies, so thank you. I'm just jealous of you moderate mamas!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>faithnj</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">ummmmm....<i>what did moms do prior to television,</i> when they needed a break???</div>
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I think prior to TV, the extended family was likely alot more involved in childrearing. And prior to that...well, we were tribal!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
Also a lot of children had chores they had to do around the farms, houses, etc..they really didnt have time to be *bored*.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Also a lot of children had chores they had to do around the farms, houses, etc..they really didnt have time to be *bored*.</td>
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DO you know just in the last 2 months where i live there have been about 3 or more incidences where teens have claimed they were 'bored' so they set fire to a library, another vandalized a school and broke into homes. They stated that these were upper class family kids why that matters I dont know. It doesnt matter what class you come from I believe its what you know to do with your time.<br><br>
Michele
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>arboriamoon</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">WOW Anna,<br><br>
Thanks for the encouragement. I know the only way to deal with this IS to go completely TV free. I've known this since the problem began. I keep thinking...once I am done work...when the new baby comes...when its spring...blah blah blah blah. I know it's what HAS to be done. I am not one for moderation.<br><br>
I am curious--how did your DS's behavior change once TV left his life?</div>
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Sorry it took me so long to respond! While DS is tv free, I am not, and I logged off to go watch 24 last night.<br><br>
It's hard to say whether there was a huge change in his behavior, since most of his video watching was done when he was a baby, and now he's almost 18 months, so there's obviously bound to be some behavior changes regardless. It does seem to me that he's become more interested in the world around him (picking things up more to examine them, being more enthused about life in general, trying to carry on a little relationship with the poor cat <who is sitting next to me reading over my shoulder at the moment and put his paw on my shoulder when I wrote that>), and he's way into his books right now. We keep his books on the bottom shelf of the bookshelf with a big beanbag chair next to it, and he'll pull out his books, sit in the center of a big pile of them, and thumb through them, repeating the words he remembers, or just babbling. Like I said, I don't know how much of that is stuff that would have just come anyway or not, but when he watches tv at Grandma and Grandpa's (I can't stop them unless I'm there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: ) he comes home and is cranky and distracted, and harder to get to bed.<br><br>
Must go. Aforementioned cat is making a pass at my lunch. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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