Haven't read all the replies, but here's my "must have" list:
- a freezer full of frozen meals (2 of my friends filled my freezer as a shower gift, it was AWESOME! In the morning I'd pull one out so it could thaw, when dh got home he could throw it in the oven for me)
- A good double nursing pillow
- for early on, a good stretchy wrap (moby wrap is cheaper, the hot mama wrap from mom-and-me-creations or bali baby stretch from gypsymama.com will last longer), later, 2 good woven wraps.
- a pair of slingset pouches &/or 2 good unpadded ring slings (sleepingbaby.net or slingmemommy.com are shoulder styles I like at reasonable prices)
- instead of crib(s) or the Arms Reach (well, we borrowed one, but the babies hated it), my dad built a cosleeper frame for a regular twin mattress. We STILL have it in our room. It's sturdy enough that any of us can sleep there, and gave us much needed room for cosleeping. It cost very little, we figured we could use the twin mattress later on a kids' bed, and if cosleeping didn't work we could always buy the crib(s) if we needed them (we didn't, we transferred the girls to mattresses on teh floor of their room when they nightweaned at 19 mo & that's where they still are at almost age 4. I've suggested putting their mattresses on frames but they like to jump on their beds so this feels safer to me).
Everything else strikes me as depending a LOT on your lifestyle &, more importantly, the babies' personalities.
We used our double snap-n-go a TON because our babies fell asleep instantly in the car, so the sng allowed me to transfer sleeping babies from car to wherever. I found the infant carseats too heavy to carry 2 of them anything more than house to car. I also took lots of walks w/ the sng that first summer. It was great because I could see the babies & they could see me (unlike most strollers) & since they were already used to falling asleep in their carseats they generally went right to sleep.
We borrowed or got as gifts most of the "entertainment" type gear. The things that would have been worth the money for us were the doorway jumpers (from the very beginning my girls were happiest being held in a "standing" position, since I couldn't hold 2 floppy babies like that, even before they could jump, I'd use it for short periods so that both babies could be "standing") & our portable swings (they spent most of their time in the master bathroom so I could get a shower (combination of the motion & the sound of the shower generally put babies right to sleep) but we could also throw them in the car if we were visiting friends or whatever & thought the girls might sleep. Everything else, was worth borrowing, but wouldn't have been worht buying (as we're going into yardsale season check yardsales for things like swings & bouncers. Or ask on freecycle).
My babies refused bottles starting at 3 mo, so I was very glad I hadn't spent the money on an electric breast pump.
