I look at is this way. If they hear it from you and then happen to hear it from others along the way, eventually it won't sound so odd.
I've had the same thing happen.
I've had the same thing happen.
typical modern society mother, ugh
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I'm sorry! I really hate those situations. Just when it seems like you are making a possible friend to hang out with, those issues come up. I have felt that many times and it makes me so sad. I am so proud of the choices I have made for my children and feel very confident I am doing what is best for them, but it is still hard to not have other mommy friends to relate to.
When I was pregnant with my twins (about 36 weeks or so) I saw another pregnant lady in Quiznos. She smiled and asked when I was due and it turned out we were due within days of each other. Then she asked what hospital I was going to and I said I was having a homebirth. She tried to hide her surprise, then excused herself. I am sure she thought I was a terrible mom for putting my baby at risk. It's a good thing I didn't tell her they were twins-she would have really thought I was wacko.
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When I was pregnant with my twins (about 36 weeks or so) I saw another pregnant lady in Quiznos. She smiled and asked when I was due and it turned out we were due within days of each other. Then she asked what hospital I was going to and I said I was having a homebirth. She tried to hide her surprise, then excused herself. I am sure she thought I was a terrible mom for putting my baby at risk. It's a good thing I didn't tell her they were twins-she would have really thought I was wacko.
Just keep in mind that some day she might be prompted to do research and think back fondly on you.
I know that before I had kids I judged Mamas who didn't vax pretty harshly, in fact, I fully vaxed DD (against my better judgement towards the end, but I still hadn't done any research).
I ended up researching the heck out of the subject when I was pg with DS and (as you can see by my sig) am quite anti-vax now
Just wanted to offer another perspective
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Just for some perspective.
I turn 24 this year.
My mother went to bat with the school district about vax.
I know I never got all of them.
The worse illness I've survived was chicken pox.
As you can plainly tell I'm still alive
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I chose to get my MMR two years ago.
(I was told that to have children, I had to
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Don't let the fear mongerers and weirdos get to you.
FYI The side affecst from the MMR were so shockingly unpleasant.
I hate to think of that torture inflicted on helpless babies.
I turn 24 this year.
My mother went to bat with the school district about vax.
I know I never got all of them.
The worse illness I've survived was chicken pox.
As you can plainly tell I'm still alive
I chose to get my MMR two years ago.
(I was told that to have children, I had to
Don't let the fear mongerers and weirdos get to you.
FYI The side affecst from the MMR were so shockingly unpleasant.
I hate to think of that torture inflicted on helpless babies.
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ITA with PP's.
You know, sometimes when I feel the temptation to just go with the flow, and the "norms", it always feels like I'm being ashamed of my choices, that I have something to hide.
But I don't dammit! I'm PROUD of what I've chosen for me and my family, and I refuse to slink around like there's anything wrong or shameful. So I've decided to be proud and wear it all on my sleeve.
My mom is old school too, and I had to talk myself blue in the face about our choice to stop all vaxing, but she's slowly coming around. She's very Christian though, so I ended up using the good old "trust what God gave us" argument.
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I still get these annoying emails from her from her well-meaning friends though, *sigh*
Though I know it's easy for me to say living where I do. Thank GOD for the Canadian constitution that won't let the govm't force us to vax. I don't know that I'd be so vocal if I were facing the threat of CPS being called on me by the ignoramus's out there.
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I agree that if we let the "norm" shame us into hiding, our granola lifestyle will never be accepted. The more we advocate, the more it'll get out there. Not too many years ago, I too was very very mainstream in my parenting ideas, mostly b/c that's the culture I was raised in. I even would argue *for* spanking! *GASP*
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Gosh, I was so young and stupid then. I wasn't a parent yet though, so it was easy for me to "justify" things like spanking, vaxing, CIO, etc.
Just think, in the future, perhaps you may have planted that seed in the girl's mind, and she'll come around. At the very least, you gave her something to think about!
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Good on ya for deciding to advocate!!
You know, sometimes when I feel the temptation to just go with the flow, and the "norms", it always feels like I'm being ashamed of my choices, that I have something to hide.
But I don't dammit! I'm PROUD of what I've chosen for me and my family, and I refuse to slink around like there's anything wrong or shameful. So I've decided to be proud and wear it all on my sleeve.
My mom is old school too, and I had to talk myself blue in the face about our choice to stop all vaxing, but she's slowly coming around. She's very Christian though, so I ended up using the good old "trust what God gave us" argument.
Though I know it's easy for me to say living where I do. Thank GOD for the Canadian constitution that won't let the govm't force us to vax. I don't know that I'd be so vocal if I were facing the threat of CPS being called on me by the ignoramus's out there.
I agree that if we let the "norm" shame us into hiding, our granola lifestyle will never be accepted. The more we advocate, the more it'll get out there. Not too many years ago, I too was very very mainstream in my parenting ideas, mostly b/c that's the culture I was raised in. I even would argue *for* spanking! *GASP*
Just think, in the future, perhaps you may have planted that seed in the girl's mind, and she'll come around. At the very least, you gave her something to think about!
Good on ya for deciding to advocate!!
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This reminded me of something that happened when my first was five. We were playing in the park one day in late summer, he with a little girl he'd met there. They were having a great time, playing and chatting. When her mother came and told her daughter it was time to go my son said, "oh, that's too bad! Where are you going?" And the little girl said, "I have to go get my kindergarten shots." My son was somewhat flummoxed. He asked, "What are kindergarten shots?" And the little girl said, "It's special medication I have to take so I can go to school to learn to read. Don't you have to?!" And my son said, "we homeschool."
"What's that??" asked the little girl.
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And so it goes ... Did lead to an interesting discussion with my son, though, to explain the shots.
"What's that??" asked the little girl.
Kat - ITA. I really can't stand when people circ "just cause" or "to look like daddy". Well, whoop, what a reason to cut off what God gave a baby boy!! Religious reasons I can understand more.
Regarding the whole vax issue, thankfully it's an easy decision where I live. My mom too was on me about needing shots for school, etc. Nope - not required. Really easy to get an exemption in fact - just have to fill out the form that confirms as parents we're not vaxing for "reasons of conscience". And my kiddos will have to come home if there's an outbreak, so no biggie. Mostly the forms are just there so that they'll know if they're checking these things that you consciously have chosen to skip the shot, not that you just forgot or whatever.
I have to say, I've planted a few seeds of advocacy on the mainstream boards. *ahem* you know the one.....
Funnily enough, sometimes you never know who'll be totally granola. Somehow last time I was at my mom's place, my sis's new BF was there. Well, my mom was warning me how super-conservative and traditional he was, that he might be freaked about me nursing in front of him, etc etc.
Not only was he NOT freaked by me BF'ing while I was there, in fact he was the only one really comfortable looking me right in the eye and continuing our conversation (my parents couldn't even manage this!!), but we got in an interesting discussion about vaxing/not vaxing, and he even mentioned he was CD'ed. How cool is that!!
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You're totally right! That was what I was thinking, at least maybe she'll think about it and know that she can question things like vaxing and that not everything your mother tells you is the right thing to do! Ha!
BTW thanks, I'm glad I chose to stand up for what I believe in too. Even though some people think I'm crazy!
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(The funny thing, I think they are crazy for cutting off part of their baby boy and loading their newborns with multiple vax!)
BTW thanks, I'm glad I chose to stand up for what I believe in too. Even though some people think I'm crazy!
Maybe it should be moved, but I wasn't looking for advise or useful responses, I just wanted to share my story because I thought some of you would get a good laugh at it because I'm sure its happened to many of you.
Maybe I should have expanded on what I said in the beginning, I didn't go into detail from the beginning on why I didn't vax, the lady asked me Why? after I first told her "actually we are choosing not to vax her". That's why I explained it to her. If I lose friends over the choices I make in MY life, then so be it. Obviously they aren't true friends then. I support all of my friends and their decisions, and very few of them are natural mommys like me! We just have those kind of understandings with each other, we just do things differently.
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Maybe I should have expanded on what I said in the beginning, I didn't go into detail from the beginning on why I didn't vax, the lady asked me Why? after I first told her "actually we are choosing not to vax her". That's why I explained it to her. If I lose friends over the choices I make in MY life, then so be it. Obviously they aren't true friends then. I support all of my friends and their decisions, and very few of them are natural mommys like me! We just have those kind of understandings with each other, we just do things differently.
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