[momoftworedheads]

I has my 1st U/S today. I am 14 weeks. My baby had no heartbeat. I had heard the heartbeat about 1.5 weeks ago at my MW appt.

I am so sad. I have to go and be induced because the MW is afraid for me to pass such a large baby at home. She thinks I could hemmorage and possibly lose my uterus. Have any of you gone through something like this?

My husband took care of the funeral arrangements. It is so sad to plan to have a child cremated that never took a breath outside the womb. The funeral director is a friend of my Dh and he was really nice.

I keep crying and wondering if I could have done anything different but I know I should not think this is my fault. I love my baby and just hope that he or she is happy in another place.

If you pray, please pray for me and my family. Thank you

Blessings,

 

[normajean]

Oh I am so sorry. *hugs & prayers*

I just miscarried at home 2 weeks ago, I was 15 weeks along, passed the baby with no problems whatsoever, other than getting a little dizzy & nauseated. My midwife had no qualms about it, and she is very experienced, she said it was my decision whether to m/c at home or go in. She just told me to be aware of what I was passing, keep track of how much I was bleeding. If you are soaking more than a pad an hour, you need to go to the hospital. (I went in 6 days later thinking I was hemmhorraging, I had a pad every hour and a half, and they said I was fine, my body was just trying to pass a large clot, which I did pass the next day.) She also asked me to estimate quantity of blood lost. For instance, I estimated that the 36 hours I lost about 1 1/2 cups of blood. She said she would recommend iron supplements at 2 1/2 cups, and a blood transfusion at 5 cups. Of course, she also said you can loose this much blood & be fine, as long as its not all at once.

Is there a particular reason your midwife is worried about your being able to pass the baby? A history of complications or a uterus delivering with a baby? It's somewhat rare to lose a baby this late, after you've heard the heartbeat its between 5-10% of pregnancies that miscarry. Perhaps your midwife hasn't had a lot of experience with late miscarriages?

My midwife told me that once we couldn't find a heartbeat, I would most likely miscarry within 12-20 hours, be prepared in case your induction isn't scheduled until later than that, to miscarry at home. Sometimes it happens very fast, my 12 week miscarriage 4 years ago was all at once, in about a 20 minute period of time.

Just make sure you have someone with you, and have someone else take care of your other kiddos for you. The baby wasn't really all that big, a little smaller than my fist. I have also miscarried before at 12 & 5 weeks, at home with no problems.

Feelings of guilt & wondering if its something you did is part of the process of grieving. Most likely, it was nothing you did or didn't do. I know how heartbreaking it is to have heard the heartbeat & felt the baby move, and then have it pass on. My heart goes out to you.

 

[momoftworedheads]

Thank you. I have a clotting disorder so that is why she is more concerned than usual.

Thanks for your story. My Husband is going with me and my Dad will come and stay with my other kids.

Take care

 

[NotTheOnlyOne]

May God be with you during this rough time. I am sorry.

 

[normajean]

Quote:

Originally Posted by momoftworedheads Thank you. I have a clotting disorder so that is why she is more concerned than usual. Thanks for your story. My Husband is going with me and my Dad will come and stay with my other kids. Take care

Hang in there...I'll be thinking about you & wishing you well.

 

[hannybanany]

I am so sorry for your loss

You and your family are in my prayers.

 

[WaturMama]

I am so sorry about your loss.

I am sending lots of good wishes to you and your family, including to your baby on his or her journey.

 

[Nathalie]

I am so so sorry for you. I lost my baby's heartbeat at the end of the first trimester and I remember the intense sadness and shock of not finding it. My heart goes out to you and your family and I am sending you many, many hugs. I will be thinking of you.

 

[NullSet]

I'm so sorry, Jen.

There is nothing in the world like the heartbreak you feel when that heartbeat doesn't show up.

 

[zonapellucida]

so sorry for your loss mama

 

[gretasmommy]

I am so, so sorry you are going through this. Take care of yourself as much as possible during this difficult time.

 

[~Katrinka~]

Jen, I'm so sorry. What an awful shock.

When you're the mommy, I know how hard it is to think it's not your fault, no matter how much everyone tells you it isn't. It helped me to be able to talk to my dh and tell him every reason I came up with why my baby's death was my fault. Many of those reasons didn't really make any sense, but they all popped into my head, and having someone to tell them helped keeped them from getting stuck in my head.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[chel]

so sorry for your loss.

 

[Ackray]

 

[hippiechickinsing]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[rach03]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[nicksmom03]

Jen, I'm so sorry for your loss. Will definitely keep you in my prayers. (((Hugs)))

Lynne