[BabyMae09]

So, I've done my research, I'm aware of the risks of UC vs. hospital. I've been doing pre-natal care with an OB/Midwife office because that's what I can get through my insurance.

I SO want to have our daughter at home, with just DP and I there - but I'm unsure of myself, and worried about what could go wrong. So, we've been asking many, many questions at each DR's appointment to try to figure out if we'd even be comfortable going to the hospital to have DD. I'm not, at all. But I also know that things do sometimes go wrong during birth. As much as I've studied about childbirth in general and UCing in particular, I still don't feel as if I know enough! That could just be my own personality, though.

Had an appointment this morning and found out that pitocin is required after the baby is born to make my uterus clamp down. I asked if I could BF instead, and they said I could do that in addition to the pitocin. Ugh. So I either have to have an IV, or get a shot in my thigh right after DD is born, which means pitocin will be in my breastmilk!!

Also, the midwife went into everything that could go wrong - hemorrhage if my uterus doesn't clamp down soon enough, which could lead to a hysterectomy (eek! I'm only 26 and want more children) babies dying unless they get an emergency c-section, etc, etc.

Is this worry just a natural part of a first UC attempt? I feel in my heart that everything will be fine, but what if I trust that feeling, and I'm wrong? I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself.

Thanks for your feedback, girls. I so do appreciate all of you!

 

[Talula Fairie]

Pitocin is not always needed after birth. Eating a bit of the placenta can also help with post partum hemorrhage, and it's not impossible to get your hands on pitocin and self administer it if needed.

I say do whatever you really want in your heart. You'll only get to birth this child once. It's worth it to do it on your terms. If you really feel uncomfortable with a UC, is hiring a midwife for the birth possible?

 

[TzippityDoulah]

what about a homebirth midwife? (did I miss something - a reason this wouldn't be an option?) you could hire a very hands off kinda midwife to attend the birth... that way you could feel it was just you two... but a midwife incase you needed it. homebirth with a mdiwife is SO much more intimate than a hospital birth.

also I wanted to say that nobody who UCs knows everything. neither does an OB or midwife. there is only so much oen can learn unless they experience it.UC ins't about knowing it all. though some do prefer to know a certain amount before they feel comfortable with it. (like some want to know newborn CPR or whatever).

If UC is something you're interested in you have to also realize that it is a lot of responsiblity. not health wise - but emotionally. you must be ready to face hard facts just as qiuckly as triumphant joys of labouring and birth. truth is everythign doesn't go as planned. sometimes it gets sticky and emotionally exhausting. and confusing! sometimes it is wonderful and beautiful and nearly perfect - but there is no guarantee. UC is about letting birth be what it is meant to be.

I am UPing and UCing and it has been my hardest pregnancy yet. it's been very trying. sometimes I wish I had a providor to tell me what to do! but... this was an important decision my husband and i came to. one that comes from a spiritual spot for us, so we keep on keeping on unless something truly comes up we can't handle. but it hasn't been easy at all. UCing isn't about a perfect experience. it's so much deeper than that. and perhaps not for everyone.

 

[BabyMae09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Talula Fairie Pitocin is not always needed after birth. Eating a bit of the placenta can also help with post partum hemorrhage, and it's not impossible to get your hands on pitocin and self administer it if needed.

I don't want pitocin - it's a requirement of the L&D in my town. If at home, I'm planning to eat a bit of the placenta right away.

I asked a friend who has had four UC's if she would be my doula, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I'm really hoping she'll help me out! It'd make me feel better about being at home

 

[JamieCatheryn]

Whoa, when a care provider starts using words like "required" it's time to run in the opposite direction as fast as possible. You can refuse anything if you are in the hospital, nevermind what they require. Dangerous blood loss when it occurs is usually slow but ongoing, it can be diagnosed and then treated if need be. If you UC, you can make preparations for treating emergencies like excess blood loss.

 

[BabyMae09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HennyPenny If UC is something you're interested in you have to also realize that it is a lot of responsiblity. not health wise - but emotionally. you must be ready to face hard facts just as qiuckly as triumphant joys of labouring and birth. truth is everythign doesn't go as planned. sometimes it gets sticky and emotionally exhausting. and confusing! sometimes it is wonderful and beautiful and nearly perfect - but there is no guarantee. UC is about letting birth be what it is meant to be.

This is what's hard for me - the emotionally 'bad' stuff. I'm hoping that this is so hard because it's my first UC and I'm kinda a worry wart

I know in my heart that we're not supposed to have our daughter in the hospital... I had a dream last week that she was born in our bedroom and everything was perfect - sunshine was pouring in the windows, and I handled labor wonderfully (handled labor great with my DS, who is 7 now).

She was prefect, healthy, and pink

It was a wonderful dream - and I feel like I can trust it - it was so detailed and seemed to speak to my heart.

Because I already love her so much, I'm being really careful, I guess. I think I'm letting my head rule my heart, instead of having balance. My heart says everything is going to be just fine!

 

[BabyMae09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamieCatheryn Dangerous blood loss when it occurs is usually slow but ongoing, it can be diagnosed and then treated if need be. If you UC, you can make preparations for treating emergencies like excess blood loss.

What about what she said about a hysterectomy?! I've never heard of something like that *actually* happening before in an otherwise healthy pregnancy!

 

[TzippityDoulah]

I completely understand your thoughts!

s

One thign you might consider is going to a midwife for prenatals and not and OB. OBs are known for implanting worry in us. worry worry worry is all they do. and yet rarely do they solve or prevent any probelms. often they create them. I have no seen an OBN whatsoever b/c I know that is what would happen to me.

you need your fears to be YOUR fears. if people are constantly putting their fears on to you, you wont be able to have your own fears, and fears serve an important purpose! if you have no reason but and inner feeling that something is wrong - you need to know it's from you so you can handle it you know what I mean? but fi everyone is throwing worries at you, you'll be so busy deflecting them you wont hear you're own! I've learned this one. so I make efforts to block out othr's fears and only ask peopel I REALLY trust for advice on certain subjects.

there truly is no guarantee with UC that everything will be perfect and magical. so please don't choose it for that reason. UC is like... a higher calling. not just about achieving a perfect birth experience. if that makes sense. if you feel it is for you, you will find much support here and I know another yahoo list where you can gets tons fo support too (PM me if yinterested) but don't expect most people in your life to agree with and support you - b/c likely they wont understand. If on the other hand you decide to go with a midwife or what have you, you will still find much support.

 

[aua(TM)?lait]

I refused the mandatory pitocin shot when I was in the hospital with #3. I told them that if I hemorrhaged, I would be more than happy to have the shot, but they weren't going to just give it to me because it was protocol. You have the right to refuse anything. Also, my midwife was fully prepared, and brought both pitocin and cytotec to out homebirth, in case the natural methods failed during a hemorrhage. As for UC, you use herbs, and nipple stimulation, (your placenta is not always necessarily passed yet when you start to bleed too much) Also, you husband needs to understand how to properly apply pressure with both fists, it hurts a lot, and he can't be shy about it. For that matter, he also needs to understand the doses of the tinctures to give you, in case you're out of it, and can't direct him clearly. And you should make sure there is a phone nearby, if the two of you want to be completely alone, because if you did have that type of emergency, he could not leave you to run to another room and talk to dispatch. He'll need to have his hands applying pressure.

Don't let it worry you overmuch though. I have had four births, and was fully prepared for the worst each time, and I never hemorrhaged.

Just be prepared!

 

[BabyMae09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by au♥lait I refused the mandatory pitocin shot when I was in the hospital with #3. I told them that if I hemorrhaged, I would be more than happy to have the shot, but they weren't going to just give it to me because it was protocol. You have the right to refuse anything. Also, my midwife was fully prepared, and brought both pitocin and cytotec to out homebirth, in case the natural methods failed during a hemorrhage. As for UC, you use herbs, and nipple stimulation, (your placenta is not always necessarily passed yet when you start to bleed too much) Also, you husband needs to understand how to properly apply pressure with both fists, it hurts a lot, and he can't be shy about it. For that matter, he also needs to understand the doses of the tinctures to give you, in case you're out of it, and can't direct him clearly. And you should make sure there is a phone nearby, if the two of you want to be completely alone, because if you did have that type of emergency, he could not leave you to run to another room and talk to dispatch. He'll need to have his hands applying pressure. Don't let it worry you overmuch though. I have had four births, and was fully prepared for the worst each time, and I never hemorrhaged. Just be prepared!

Thanks for the good info

Where do I find out how to do the pressure with both hands thing? Or is it just anywhere on my belly at that point? also, nipple stimulation includes bfing, right?

 

[Talula Fairie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyMae09 I don't want pitocin - it's a requirement of the L&D in my town. If at home, I'm planning to eat a bit of the placenta right away. I asked a friend who has had four UC's if she would be my doula, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I'm really hoping she'll help me out! It'd make me feel better about being at home

Yeah, I figured it was a policy thing, I was just making sure you knew that you don't have to have it.

 

[TzippityDoulah]

you CAN refuse any treatment... however convincing them fo that is another thing. it is you legal right, but that doesn't mean a lot to some people.

there is always a legal paper you can sign saying you refuse such anc such treatment.

 

[EnterGently]

Yes, pit after birth is overkill! What do they think that the uterus is so flawed that we ALL need a routine shot of pit in order NOT to bleed out? CRAZY!!

I agree that a homebirth with a midwife may be a nice compromise for you. I dreamt about UC with my first and 2nd but didn't actually feel ready till my 3rd. (and I do UP too but always have my midwife friend on call should I need her for anything or want her to come etc. which is nice). I will say though, I am much more paranoid now planning my 3rd UC than I was planning my first. The more I know the more paranoid I am. Having done it before does not make it easier for me. The responsibility is huge!

But there is a lot of stuff you and dh can do yourselves to handle problems IF you are prepared to take on that responsibility (and chances are you will never need to). Emergency Childbirth by White will show you some things to do. Heart and Hands by Davis shows you how to do bimanual compression of the uterus for hemorrhage, or manual removal of the placenta if needed (which may be indicated if you are gushing blood but the placenta has not detached completely yet). Herbs like Angelica, shepherds purse etc. (Angelica helps the placenta to come, shepherds purse helps the uterus to clamp down after the placenta is out). They also tell you what to do in case of breech or shoulder dystocia etc. Great resources to have on hand.

 

[Talula Fairie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnterGently Yes, pit after birth is overkill! What do they think that the uterus is so flawed that we ALL need a routine shot of pit in order NOT to bleed out? CRAZY!!

:

 

[sahmama_12]

I get really nervous with hcp talking about "required" artifical oxytocin. The Pit will shut off your normal hormones and may interfer with bonding a bit at first, which is a totally realistic risk if it is necessary but by no means should it be policy. Wow. Can you find another hcp I agree about asking about homebirth midwives. If UC is really a dream of yours don't worry so much about what you don't know and figure out what you feel you need to know to be confident and set about learning it.

 

[BabyMae09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnterGently Yes, pit after birth is overkill! What do they think that the uterus is so flawed that we ALL need a routine shot of pit in order NOT to bleed out? CRAZY!! Heart and Hands by Davis shows you how to do bimanual compression of the uterus for hemorrhage, or manual removal of the placenta if needed (which may be indicated if you are gushing blood but the placenta has not detached completely yet).

I live 5 minutes from the hospital. How fast can a woman bleed out, anyhow? If I were really bleeding, we'd just call an ambulance. Wouldn't that be fast enough to prevent me from dying/needing a hysterectomy? I mean, really! I have 50% more blood in me right now anyway!!!

 

[rhiandmoi]

A person can bleed out in 2 mins if the right vessels are severed, and 5 mins can definitely be enough time to lose your uterus or die. When you UC you take that risk because the benefits are worth it to you. I don't think anyone should have in their mind that if they get in trouble 911 is going to save you. I live next door to a trauma center and every night 911 is not fast enough to save people.

 

[BabyMae09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhiandmoi A person can bleed out in 2 mins if the right vessels are severed, and 5 mins can definitely be enough time to lose your uterus or die. When you UC you take that risk because the benefits are worth it to you. I don't think anyone should have in their mind that if they get in trouble 911 is going to save you. I live next door to a trauma center and every night 911 is not fast enough to save people.

So... wouldn't that be too fast to prevent anything even if I were IN the hospital? Or would that shot or pitocin 'save my life?'

 

[rhiandmoi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyMae09 So... wouldn't that be too fast to prevent anything even if I were IN the hospital? Or would that shot or pitocin 'save my life?'

If you were bleeding out in the hospital, they would give you a shot of pitocin and then perform uterine massage while pumping you full of fluids and if necessary wheel you into the OR and start surgery. If you had a MW who carried pit, she would give you the shot, do the uterine massage and call 911/get you in the car. If no pit is available, you do what you can do -uterine massage, chew on placenta, call 911/get in the car. Each family has to identify their own comfort level for each risk, I just want to emphasize that calling 911 or going to the hospital if something goes wrong is not a safety net, it's more like a fire extinguisher. It won't prevent you from being "damaged" (not the right word, but it fits with the analogy) it acts after the "damage" has started to try to minimize it.

 

[cottonwood]

I'm the last person to be all pollyanna about birth. I've said over and over on this board that there are no guarantees and people do die. Nature's goal is not just to give us our heart's desire. And there are certainly valid concerns and issues to take into account when planning a birth without a medical professional present. But this is the last thing I would be worrying about if it was me. For a healthy mother who has not had a previous cesarean and has had a hormonally undisturbed spontaneous birth and third stage, bleeding out in a matter of minutes would be a fluke of nature so rare you might as well be worried about going outside in the rain because you might get struck by lightening. What's the cause for the effect? If the body has been operating hormonally normally up to that point and isn't interfered with, why should it not continue to?

For third stage, you want to be careful to protect the atmosphere just as you did during the labor and birth. The mistake many people make is to assume that it's suddenly time to get busy, time to turn on the lights, celebrate, take the pictures, call the grandparents, take the baby to do clean up/measurements, work on getting the placenta out right away, directing the mother to do so, etc. All the things that interfere with hormonal release during labor STILL APPLY. In the hospital instead of facilitating a normal physiological third stage by not messing with the mother and baby, they create a much greater potential for complications, which justifies not allowing a physiological third stage.

To the OP, chances are that everything will be absolutely fine. You're healthy, and your body has given birth efficiently once already even in a non-ideal environment. From what you've said in the past about yourself and your care providers, I believe too that the best place for you without a doubt is at home. But my gut feeling after reading what you've written here and elsewhere is that you might want to revisit the idea of hiring a midwife, at least interview a few more. The statement "I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself" I think is telling -- maybe you're just not ready for a full-fledged UC?