Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 51 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
38,824 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The UC forum is experiencing some posting behavior that is causing some members to not feel comfortable or supported when posting about their UC plans. We've been looking at some of the discussions of concern and would like to make some clarifications to the guidelines and moderation approach so that we can protect the integrity of the forum and improve the posting atmosphere. To do this we'd like input from the UC community members.

What do you feel the problems are in the UC forum?

What sort of posting do you think is acceptable when there are safety concerns for a member considering a UC?

What suggestions do you have that would help us create a more beneficial moderation approach and helpful guidelines for the forum?

Please feel free to share your thoughts and suggestions about the forum beyond these specific questions too.
smile.gif
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
too many medical professionals trolling! ;)

This forum is supposed to be a supportive site, not a place to try and "scare" women out of UC! It is good to discuss concerns, especially about safety. But there is a difference in "Look out for this" or "here is what happened to me" vs. "this is crazy" "I am sick of hearing this.." When I came here for UC support, I appreciated as much info as I could gather. But after not being here a bit, then jumping back on, it seems as though there are way too many posts coming from a harsh tone...posts you can tell are not from someone supportive about UC in general. Posts that belittle the belief that our bodies ARE capable when not interfered with. And maybe not enough interaction from UC supporters? Maybe people are afraid of being blasted for sharing? It seems in the past, reminders were given and posts were moved. Wasn't there guidelines that something to the effect that this is not the place for sharing birth horror stories or criticizing UC? That worked well. JM2C!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
720 Posts
nak

I thought UC'ers wanted to learn about the birth process and be aware of things that can go wrong? Isn't that part of "taking control of one's birth" .....through education?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
92 Posts
I'd say many to most UCers already ARE very educated about the birth process and even more so about potential hazards. The deeply held beliefs, and really, FACTS, that over 90% of un-intervened-with births go off without a hitch, and that a woman's body was designed to give birth and hence is more than capable of birthing successfully without intervention are the underpinnings of UC. Excellent health, eating habits, exercise are always held as important factors.

You can tell the difference in posts which offer information about potential issues in birth, in a helpful and nonjudgmental way, and posts which are clearly meant to deride and instill fear. Issues which might neccessitate transport are rare and few. It'd be like if the OB spent half his/her time talking with you at your prenatal appts about congenital heart defects, and really causing you to fear that it may happen to you. Well it MAY! It happened to me! But it happens in like, 2-3% of births. It shouldn't be the focus. Women should be educated about good prenatal nutrition, exercise, all the variations of normal in labor and birth, what is within her power to remedy or prevent, and above all, positivity and encouragement! Birth should not equal fear!

We are taught to fear birth by the medical establishment. That's how we stay at their mercy and they stay in business. There are two problems with that. One is that, THEY THEMSELVES are not 100% safe either. You have different issues, risks, problems, interventions to contend with in the hospital that aren't good for you or your baby either, that can cause all kinds of evil. The other problem with this whole thing is that, we seem to think that just because we have modern medicine at our disposal, we will never encounter death or injury. Injury at birth has happened regardless of good doctors and modern medical practice. And death is part of life. No one wants it at birth certainly, but it can happen, regardless of where and with whom one chooses to give birth. There is a lack of acceptance of this because of medicine. I just think UCers, while trusting birth and their bodies and believing in themselves, have an understanding that there is no one perfect choice. There are risks on both sides. There are horror stories on both sides. We look practically at the statistics and I think very reasonably consider that a homebirth is safer than a hospital birth, that we have the best chance for the desired outcome at home.

Ya know, there is a small segment of society that does and will eschew modern practices in many things, not just birth, take their chances with the natural world, prayer, alternative forms of healing, in order to live a life that is more intimately connected with the earth, with God, with WHO WE ARE at our most basic core. It's birth, it's how we get our food, it's vaccinations, it's technology, so many things, that remove us from a reliance on the Creator (if one holds that belief, I'm not proselytizing here) and on the Earth that was given to us. I'm just saying, there is a whole different way of seeing life, instead of believing that some women are just fools, or reckless, by choosing to UC, why can't it be seen as just different, and not bad? We don't view Amish as fools or reckless, for not relying on the modern world for many things. There's a reverence there, for a people trying to keep alive a very old way of living. We don't view Native Americans as foolish or reckless, we honor their ancient practices and see them as sacred. So if you're an average white woman (disclaimer that I know it's not just white women who UC), you MUST be stupid or reckless to UC? There's nothing special about your beliefs that should make anyone pause and be respectful.

As UCers, we do spend more time learning about potential problems, so that we can know what can be done to alleviate them ourselves, what is cause for a call to 911 and/or transport, etc. But let's not pretend that you can't tell a pro-UC post, or at least a neutral post, from an anti-UC one. I've only been back on these boards a week or so, and I can tell some anti-folks, and have even chosen to just not participate in some threads because I do feel the need to guard myself somewhat.

I know this devolved into NOT answering the OP, I just don't appreciate the implication that we must just not want to hear about things that could go wrong if we take issue with a particular post. Tone is everything in these groups. There has been negative tone lately.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
282 Posts
Quote:
And maybe not enough interaction from UC supporters? Maybe people are afraid of being blasted for sharing?
Yeah that is possible. I come here every few days but mostly just read posts to learn more about UC but I'm nervous to write too much about it because I know it is not very accepted (plus this is a public board.) Plus I haven't UC'd yet so don't really have any thoughts on my own experience to offer others yet. The thread from a few days ago didn't scare me out of continuing to think about UC though. ;) It was a bit too weird to be completely believable, and even moreso when the birth story thread was posted.

I think sometimes people don't realize it's a UC forum at first because they just read the link to the most recent posts on mothering and a title intrigues them, so that is probably where some replies are coming from. Not sure if it would make sense or even be possible to try to remove the UC board from showing up in there, though. Plus, some people who aren't supportive or nervous about the thought of UC do end up coming around eventually and even deciding they want to UC (never would have thought I'd consider UC for myself until a year or so ago!) Just thinking "out loud".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,468 Posts
Personally I post less here nowadays because I know that hostile/disapproving eyes are reading and judging. Fine, it's a public forum, but it certainly motivates me to take my real issues to the private forum.

I think s-o-t-l summed up an important issue very well in her 4th paragraph.

I don't have an issue with people coming here and not understanding and genuinely trying to understand by asking questions, etc. But there are a lot of people who just think UCers are nuts and aren't at all interested in understanding or engaging. Those are the posts that are unhelpful and derail useful discussion on this board.

I also don't have any problem with real people coming here with real stories about things that went wrong at UCs, as long as it's not in an accusatory "look, see how stupid UC always is as a choice" sort of way. I think it's good to acknowledge that things can go wrong, look into how that makes you feel, let it help you to prepare on many levels. That is also part of the power that is knowledge :) However, it's no help at all when someone posts about a complicated or problematic situation and then someone who comes from a completely different way of looking at birth and life responds with "go see a doctor now because X once happened to someone I know and if you don't you are very foolish." There is no interest in engaging, no sympathy, just judgment and panic. The thread often then deteriorates into an argument about whether UC is safe or not. Totally different from something like "wow, that doesn't sound like a good situation - I would definitely go to a doctor - but it's your decision as an autonomous adult to make" or "this happened to someone I know and there was a bad outcome in that case. You might want to consider that possibility."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,753 Posts
I'm going to write my post before reading the response so that my view isnt shaded. Sorry if opinions are repeated.

Personally, I have thought very seriously about Ucing this time, and I came to this forum looking for information, guidance, and support. I've only posted a few times, and this is what I've gotten in response to my questions.
~a crazy person who was so pro UC that she couldnt see any other point of view and anyone who wasnt with her on every.single.thing was a "troll"
~a legitimate question that I was genuinely wanting advice on getting taken to another website to make fun of me.
~a couple of book recommendations (thanks!)
~some amazing birth stories

To me, the negatives with my experience here greatly out weigh the positives as I have also seen:

~a fake horror birth story
~namecalling, arguing, and total non support
~people being accused of killing someone's child
~very little actual information being exchanged

I am interested in the private lounge, but other than that I cannot imagine posting any other personal feelings about UC here. Im really sad about it because I still havent decided what to do, and I have NO support for it IRL and I was really looking for online support or information that wasnt coupled with people telling me that Im stupid and trying to kill my baby. However, this just isnt a good place for that kind of support.

I dont know what to do to make it a better forum, other than making it private. Still, even if it was private, Im sure that posts would get taken to other websites because I know that there are trolls in the private lounge. But at least then people wouldnt post such asinine things because they know they could lose their membership to the UC forum . Personally, I think immediate moderation of everything posted might make it better. (Someone looking in on this forum more often that most?) Maybe requiring a certian post count before being able to post (like TAO)? While I agree that people should be able to post their point of view, there are very few places online where you can get UC support and a million places where you can get told what a dumbass you are for UC'ing. Why should mothering fall into the second category?
 
  • Like
Reactions: sara-on-the-lake

·
Registered
Joined
·
92 Posts
*wipes brow* Whew! I was so afraid to hit 'submit' on that post. And I know it was long, I rambled, but sometimes I just can't get around that with the kids in the room, or my dh talking at me while I'm trying to compose a thought.

I couldn't care less about people thinking I'm foolish. I don't expect everyone to understand my choices. And certainly I've thought others were foolish for things they do. That doesn't bother me.

The problem is in fearing to post, to share, because you're afraid someone's going to think you aren't valuing your own child's safety and well-being above all else. If you don't understand someone's actions, how can you accurately make a determination on their motivations and values?

And I just want to say to Adaline'sMama, you can pm me if ya like. I'd love to help in any way I can. I can recommend some groups too.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
11,594 Posts
I think the fear that you are speaking to, sara, is the fact that it does go beyond this forum.

people take a post and c/p to somewhere else, where people make fun. that i have no issue with. people are free to entertain themselves.

but the issue happens when it leaves the internet and goes into the real lives of the individual woman. UCer's getting letters or phone calls in their homes. UCer's bosses getting letters, emails, and phone calls about them. UCer's getting a visit from CPS based on an anonymous internet tip.

so, yeah, most of us are not willing to share on this forum for this reason. I mean, i'm past my UC time, so I'm not a threat to anyone really, but seriously, to me it crosses a massive line.

In addition, the unsupportive posts that sara is talking about is out of hand. truly, just crazy. not sure what you can do about it, but seriously, it's a bit of a mess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,524 Posts
Even like 3 years ago, the UC board had a lot of people that were regulars here that would say - hey that's really a medical concern. Maybe you should ask someone in one of the more medical sub-forums. Or hey, so you know - that symptom you're describing could be nothing or could be a big deal. Have you researched XYZ topic about that? That was seen as being supportive to UC because it was seen as enabling a family to make decisions based on knowledge. It seems like there has been a big shift in the last 1-2 years with UC on this board being about "beating" medical professionals. And instead of UC being a valid choice for low risk mothers, it became about how many different complications could you have and still have a successful UC.

Lately it hasn't seemed to have been about the 90% of uncomplicated pregnancies and births that go off without a hitch, it seems to be about measuring large, looooooooong gestations, unusual BP, suspected GD, UBAMC, etc.

This is not supposed to be a place to seek medical advice - but in reality a lot of the threads here are asking medical advice. Sure, all over MDC people ask for and get medical advice. Some of which is less than accurate. The more medically minded sub-forums do a pretty good job of policing themselves as far as trying to make sure inaccurate advice is refuted soundly. Like on the NICU board they do an EXCELLENT job of it, same goes with the SN board and IF. Everyone understands that inaccurate advice could make a huge difference to people in those boards, sometimes even a life or death difference.

I just took a quick glance at the UC board front page and there are at least 3 threads that have been active this week that are definitely looking for medical advice. They might skirt the UA by asking for anecdotes, information, or "what would you do's" instead of straight out asking "what should I do" but that is the the same thing and the mods/admins know it. They are just CYA so that bad info is being shared as non-advising advice that gets left up on the boards for families beginning their UC journey to find and use as valid advice.

Honestly, if UCers don't want medically minded MDCers showing up, they shouldn't be asking medical questions. The thread titles appear on the Recent Discussions list, where anyone can see them. Medical questions are going to attract medical answers.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
Quote:
Honestly, if UCers don't want medically minded MDCers showing up, they shouldn't be asking medical questions. The thread titles appear on the Recent Discussions list, where anyone can see them. Medical questions are going to attract medical answers.
I don't think the problem is when someone offers advice, but rather when the advice is not supportive to UC or even posted in an attacking/hostile manner! (and not everyone sees childbirth as a medical issue...)

Also , this thread is supposed to address the specifics of the UC board and how to improve it...

Bottom line, I thought this board was supposed to be a place to discuss and support UC, not a place to debate it. Wasn't there some kind of announcement or notice to that effect somewhere? (kind of like you wouldn't recommend spanking on a gentle parenting thread, or telling a vegan family they are going to kill their kids with vitamin deficiencies on a vegan parenting post!)
nono.gif
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
11,594 Posts
hmm. i think it's an interesting point, rhiandmoi.

I don't necessarily see the sorts of threads that you mention as seeking medical advice. I do see it as seeking a UC perspective toward certain information -- what did you, as a UCer do in this situation? what do you, as a UCer, think about this information. I think I assume that the individual already has access to medical information and advice, knows where to find it, and can, and in some or even many cases, they are not UPers -- they have midwives and doctors who have, in most cases, already discussed the issue with them and provided the medical perspective and information.

I've never personally had a problem with someone coming in and giving their perspective as a professional (midwives, etc) or a non-professional asserting that they would choose a more medical route. I, too, consider that supportive.

But, there is a point where it crosses a line. When the OP asserts that she will not be following medical advice, sometimes those offering it get pushy about it. Not just "I would do this" or "medical evidence is that" but really everything from "you're irresponsible" to "you're killing your baby!" It's not all that common, but it is not supportive of the woman's choice to UC against medical advice.

And, it is true that more "high risk" women are coming to UC. This is because they do not see these things as "risks" in the way that their care providers might. Perspectives change, you know?

What I mean is this. It used to be that a posterior baby was "variation of normal." When my son was born in 2008, it was still a variation of normal, but many women were encouraged to have a c-section during labor because there's "no need to suffer" and the baby hadn't changed position throughout labor. Today, I received an email from a friend in my former town who was risked out to the OB because her baby is posterior. She's about a month out, but the baby was "persistent." :D I joked that it tells of the personality to come! ha! But anyway, the OB's appointment is coming up, and the midwife told her that they would talk about scheduling a c-section, but that she can choose to go into labor if she wants -- and then see if a c-section is needed for the malposition.

So, a person may come into this site next week, and say "my ob says my baby is malpositioned. Was yours? what would you do?" And I would say "Oh, I had a posterior baby, and it was a vaginal birth, and all is fine." Yes, there actually are increased risks in a posterior baby, just as with a breech. And so maybe the doctors are right and a c-section IS better, but I don't know if there's any evidence right now, and honestly, if my friend were at this midwife in 2008, this would not have been risked out (as another friend of mine used this midwife and also had a posterior baby who switched during labor).

That's only 3 years ago.

So, that person writes in here, and then we get lambasted for not providing medical advice of "I would get that checked out" or "i would listen to my doctor" in this instance.

I think that postdates definitely qualifies in this instance, particularly now that the situation has changed for women. You get to 40 days, and they're talking about induction right away -- not waiting a week, or two, or three. Four years ago, a friend of mine had an OB waiting 3 weeks before he got antsy about induction, and she went into labor later that day and birthed normally. Today, the same doctor -- for whatever reason -- is concerned taht she might go late like before, and said that he now *had to* induce before 41 weeks. I don't know if it was insurance, hospital policy, or what, but he "has to" now when he didn't "have to" 4 years ago.

With things like UBAMC, these are often women who feel, think, or believe that their c-sections were unnecessary and that VBAC is possible, but no one (doctor) will accept her desire to VBAC. In many cases, their *preference* is for a medical attendant at their birth -- and in most cases a midwife -- but they feel forced to UCing in order to get the birth that they want. And usually, those women are *well aware* of the medical perspectives and risks. So, no one needs to tell them that side of the equation (imo).

For the issue of GD, there is ample information that the tests are not accurate, and yet many doctors and midwives refuse to retest, or use an alternate test. So, women get risked out for that reason, when -- in fact -- they are perfectly healthy as determined by checking their blood sugar throughout the day, watching their diet, and their children are growing normally (by all kinds of measurements, including getting ultrasounds at their doctors, fundal height or what have you). So, here they are getting risked out and thereby into early inductions, and their options thin right out. The doctor's insist on their diagnosis based on a test that has many false positives, will refuse to accept any evidence to the contrary, and demand that a woman induces on their schedule (often early) only to bear a premature child. These women, too, are often "forced" to UC in this way -- which is something I don't like, btw.

But, I am of the mind that if these women truly believe that they don't have GD or that it's rightly controlled and not at issue, then I support their decision to disregard medical advice and move forward in their own ways. And, if a woman UBAMC feels that her uterus will be able to do it's work in a UC, then I will support that rather than saying "no, you should do what the doctor says" or these are thr increased risks and so on.

The blood pressure issues are more confusing, too, but i've also noted that many of the threads related included the fact that the woman was talking with her doctor or midwife about the issue as they go, and in both blood pressure discussions that I recall of late, both women have chosen to continue with their care providers not just for prenatal care, but for the birth as well. SO, they are not UCing, and therefore I don't get what the concern is (for them). :D

That is, i don't see how we would be creating problems or leading anyone astray because we aren't answering with "go see a doctor" or "medical information is as follows." Also, since other people usually provide that, I don't need to. :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,524 Posts
Childbirth is not of itself a medical issue. Questions like "would this specific medical situation concern you?" on the other hand clearly are asking for input on medical issues. Some people feel strongly about wrong information being supplied to people trying to make choices about medical issues.

That's not about undermining UC. that's about empowering families with accurate information to chose UC because they know what they are dealing with and have made whatever necessary steps they deem important. If that is no steps fine. But it has seemed lately, especially with certain extremely vocal posters that UC itself is the goal. It used to be that UC was a possible route to having safe healthy birth.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,960 Posts
When I first arrived at MDC, and the UC board, the board was both more constructive and less hostile (in terms of drive-by nay-sayers). Asking questions about medical issues would result in much more sound advice, and there would actually be many more of those threads, perhaps because posters did not feel their questions would result in attacks from people opposed to UC?

As a UC-er, I am all for "hey, you better get that checked out by a doctor" advice if that is warranted. In fact, the school of thought of relying solely on God/one's intuition that seems to be more prevalent here these days can easily give the impression that just about anything is compatible with UC, and it is not. That, combined with posters who only come here to point out how dangerous UC is (sometimes achieved by pretending to have had a UC, see recent "UC from Hell" thread), have resulted in a less than helpful board. Perhaps it's because many questions have moved to the private board.

Of course, it is an individual's responsibility to work out if advice is good or bad - if you can't separate the sound advice (and verify its truth independently elsewhere) from bad advice, perhaps UC is not for you.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
11,594 Posts
perhaps i'm reflecting too personally, but when i answer "would this concern you" or "how would you think about this?" i'm not really giving any medical information or advice about the issue. i typically go generic -- weigh the information available to you, think about what you want to do, and move forward with confidence in your decision.

this is, of course, whether or not that decision leads to a UC.

so, my answers to tend to the "do what you think is best" -- more of a trust yourself answer than a 'seek medical advice' answer. it is -- in itself -- not medical advice at all, nor could it be construed as medical advice (or so i think, anyway)

but, it is philosophical advice, pointing to (some of) the philosophical underpinnings of UC.

I hold the perspective that women (and men) are capable of deciding for themselves and emotionally, and otherwise, capable of accepting the consequences of that decision. And, I also believe that the idea of following intuition/God/self reliance will lead to positive results. That more often than not, an individual who does need medical help will seek it, and those who do not will not seek it.

As MK says, not everything and everyone is compatible with UC -- but it is up to the individual to decide this and the consequences of whatever that decision is. It is not up to the community to decide who should and should not UC, and then "grant permission." Sure, provide information -- but as MK says, one has to weigh whether or not that information is accurate, and hopefully goes far beyond this message board to find that information (eg, books, medical articles, and in some/many cases, conversations with their care providers). So ultimately, it can really only come down to "we support your decision" -- even if we, personally, would not UC in that situation, think it's dangerous, or find it problematic at some level.

And, bad stuff can and does happen -- in a UC or hospital or birth center or homebirth -- and that is just a sad, horrific fact of birth. I agree that the information should not be "hidden" but it also needs to be vetted (eg, "UC from Hell" situation) and *moderated* because when it does happen and it is posted, it is often deleted not because mothering or UCers want the information hidden, but because the thread goes from "I had a UC; it was a stillbirth" to "you killed your baby you evil, stupid woman!" and the PMs can get seriously ugly.

I also don't know specifically that the board has a particular "flavor" of saying that the goal is to UC absolutely -- but people do come here with the goal of UCing, and that's not always a problem. This is not inherently asserting that everyone with the goal of UC "must" UC or "should" UC, but rather that it is a perfectly valid goal to hold. It's also a perfectly valid goal to amend should a situation present itself.

But if someone holds that goal, why not offer what information one can to help another achieve that goal in addition to the other information offered? EG, you offer the medical information (links to articles, etc), and then I say "whatever you decide is great. If you feel that you are safe, then go with that." It's not saying "UC at all costs!" But it is saying "It's ok to hold on to your goal if you feel it's safe."

BUt, this is just my perspective, and it is the middle of the night (well, only 10, but i'm tired). So, perhaps it's just a bit too personal for me. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,960 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post

I hold the perspective that women (and men) are capable of deciding for themselves and emotionally, and otherwise, capable of accepting the consequences of that decision. And, I also believe that the idea of following intuition/God/self reliance will lead to positive results. That more often than not, an individual who does need medical help will seek it, and those who do not will not seek it.

As MK says, not everything and everyone is compatible with UC -- but it is up to the individual to decide this and the consequences of whatever that decision is. It is not up to the community to decide who should and should not UC, and then "grant permission."
These are important points. I also hold that most adults are perfectly capable of decision making and risk assessment, but we do not all use the same standards and we do not all have the same situations and risks. Personally, I do not at all believe that solely following intuition, God, or the "self" (which is arguably the same thing as intuition) leads to positive results - I believe that we need knowledge, too. But I simultaneously believe it is not my duty, or anyone else's, to push that knowledge down someone throat where it is unwanted. I do agree that most who need medical help will seek it, but to know you need medical help, you sometimes need knowledge (sometimes not - where there is pain, for instance, it may be obvious to anyone that help is needed).

I have read, on some other online forums, about the idea that a "checklist" or standards are needed for individuals to determine whether or not they are in a position to UC, and that the UC community, like some professional organizations, must "self regulate". Such ideas could only ever be proposed by people who do not UC. The very notion of UC is not compatible with trying to force others into any particular decision. Most UC-ers, I should hope, reject the idea that they need a higher body to make decisions on their behalf.

What was great about the Mothering UC board? Open and honest discussions and sharing of knowledge (even where there was misinformation sometimes!). Discussing risks, which obviously exist, honestly. What is not so great about the current state of the board? A lack of honest discussion, a more vocal crowd who believes intuition alone is enough, and naysayers. It is a combination of two extremes (Intuition-only UC-ers + medically minded scare mongers = not enough valuable info for those who are preparing to UC).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,753 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post

perhaps i'm reflecting too personally, but when i answer "would this concern you" or "how would you think about this?" i'm not really giving any medical information or advice about the issue. i typically go generic -- weigh the information available to you, think about what you want to do, and move forward with confidence in your decision.

this is, of course, whether or not that decision leads to a UC.

so, my answers to tend to the "do what you think is best" -- more of a trust yourself answer than a 'seek medical advice' answer. it is -- in itself -- not medical advice at all, nor could it be construed as medical advice (or so i think, anyway)

but, it is philosophical advice, pointing to (some of) the philosophical underpinnings of UC.

I hold the perspective that women (and men) are capable of deciding for themselves and emotionally, and otherwise, capable of accepting the consequences of that decision. And, I also believe that the idea of following intuition/God/self reliance will lead to positive results. . :)
I think this is what a lot of people who are super against UC have a problem with. The idea that you get to decide if you are okay with living with the consequenses of what could potentially be a child's death or birth defect. It is super strange to me that some people hold the idea that they will trust their bodies or trust god about a problem during birth and whatever happens to the baby is just a consequense that you have to deal with. So its okay not seek medical advice and potentially harm your child, but dont circ because as parents we dont have the right to make that choice for our kid?

*I am anti circ. And, Im not pointing fingers at you zoebird, I just can see where statements like the bolded would set off the opposing side.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mama2Kayla

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
38,824 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by nursingmommaof2 View Post

I would like it if Mothering stopped deleting any mention of a UC going badly. There have been many UC deaths that have been quickly covered up. Keeping those threads alive would alert potential UCs to the real risks of UC.
This was mentioned awhile back by someone in a different discussion so it's good that you've brought it up again.

We do not have a policy of deleting "any mention" of a UC going badly. We leave threads in place unless we have a compelling reason to remove them.

We have removed some threads at the OP's request. In the case of a traumatic situation or a death some members will ask to have their thread pulled because it is too painful for them to leave it up. This occurs not only in the UC forum but also in the other Pregnancy forums. We will continue to respect this and honor the request. It is more important to us that the mother's grief and pain be eased, so if that can happen by removing her thread then we will do that for her.

In other cases of removal the thread was being discussed in a very disrespectful and accusing manner at other sites and the OP asks for removal. That too we will continue to honor.
 
1 - 20 of 51 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top