[hippymomma69]

I actually said "why can't you be normal?" to my DD yesterday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Now I feel awful.<br><br>
On the bright side - she couldn't understand what I was saying. But it makes me feel bad that when I get stressed/down that this would fly out of my mouth.<br><br>
I'd been feeling kind of down about her language/sensory stuff lately...I saw how when she was interacting with a "friend" she was just totally unable to read the other girl's mood (the little girl was being moody and was pushing my DD away from her - but DD thought she was just playing and she was smiling and laughing). Then a neighbor gave her a "Furby" doll (so annoying by the way) and it has this soft nose that DD kept putting in her mouth, even though I told her a million times to stop - so of course she bit Furby's nose off. Then her SN preschool keep sending home these little toys that are so inappropriate for a child who puts things in her mouth - this time they sent home a small superball and I had to get that away from her...and at the mom's group, people were complaining about what their children said to them and I just wanted to scream and say "at least they are TALKING to you!"<br><br>
I mean I know part of it is normal 3.5 year old stress - but then I feel like the other stuff on top is driving me crazy!<br><br>
Anyway, I am just disappointed in myself that I can't do this parenting stuff better....<br><br>
peace,<br>
robyn

 

[De-lovely]

Hugs to you mama-we ALL have those days even those who dont deal with SNC and I think you need to mostly be gentle with yourself. (((HUGS)))

 

[Em's Mom]

I could have written this post myself. I also have a 3 1/2 year old, and everything that you described also fits our situation. Give yourself a hug. It is truly a tough, frustrating job. Just hang in there and know that your child knows you love her. We all have moments that we think of as "not our best"....it's OK<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.

 

[TinkerBelle]

For gosh sake, you are a human. It is not easy to cope with a disabled child, no matter who you are. Even the most patient among us, I am sure, have had a hard day or two.<br><br>
I love my son. (autism) BUT, some days I wish we had a "normal" life too. I look at the families out and about and am sad that we cannot always be like that. I look at my oldest son and see how he struggles and sometimes has to put up with a lot because of his brother's disabilities. I struggle with not being able to always give equal attention to all 3 of my boys. So, some days I cry, some days I punch my mattress while the boys are at school, and some days I am cheered by some thing my son does. I realize then that it is not the end of the world.<br><br>
I have BTDT. Hugs.

 

[Finch]

I say the same thing to my ds (under my breath) on those bad days, too. We all have 'em. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[kchoffmann]

Yes, be kind to yourself. We all feel those ways or say things we wish we hadn't in hard times. Is anyone good at this, really? We're all just doing the best we can.

 

[hippymomma69]

thank you all for your support...glad to know that I'm not some awful mom for thinking these things sometimes....the good thing is that so far, DD has no clue and she is happy as a clam for the most part....the irony is that she is make so much progress at her new school! She occassionally will have a complete sentence! IT's just so hard to be patient.<br><br>
thanks again for the support,<br>
peace,<br>
robyn

 

[RedOakMomma]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Been there. It's not something you should be proud of saying (<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> ), but you shouldn't feel guilty about it, either. I have twin 5y.o. with special needs, and they don't understand me, either. I mutter something at least once a month that I wouldn't want someone else to hear... some of the worst?<br><br>
"UGHGHGHHG! You're so STUPID!"<br>
"Honestly, James, keep your god**** drool in your f***** mouth!"<br>
"Idiot."<br>
There was even once, when I stopped, turned to the wall, and just said the meanest, most hateful thing I could think of "f****** r-word" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Those are pretty dark moments, when I've had it up to here and then some. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It's not pretty, but it's normal. When it happens I can't help but feel guilty, but then I think of all the hundreds of loving, encouraging, positive things I say to them every day...not that saying good things is a free pass to say bad things, but looking at it in perspective it does make me feel like a better mom.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">