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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need some perpective, please.<br><br>
So, I'm six months pregnant, right? Still not *really* showing. I mean, not that other people would know that I am pregnant. I still just look fat.<br><br>
Anyway...I LOVE that there is a little being inside of me....<br><br>
BUT.<br><br>
I'm starting to feel fat...and I DON'T like it. My wedding ring stopped fitting today, and when I stand with one hip jutted out, there is a little fat roll on my back. =( As of my last appointment (almost four weeks ago, my next appt is this Thursday) I had gained 4 pounds (at 20 weeks) and I'm scared I've gained like another ten. I am starting to feel HUGE, and since my belly isn't this cute pregnant thing, I just feel FAT. Like I'm "letting my self go" or something.<br><br>
I just need to been kicked out of this funk...any thoughts?
 

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Your Pregnant!!!! Don't feel bad about yourself. I would recommend walking everyday...it may help you feel better about yourself to get out and get movin'...and the fresh air is great...I did it and it helped me. You will also build up some stamina for the big task you have ahead of you. Good Luck!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I know I should exercise more. I probably exercise three times a week...generally I do a Walk Away the Pounds tape....I should probably get outside....but I just can't seem to get motivated during the daylight hours...and I don't feel comfortable enough in my neighborhood to walk at night, you know?<br><br>
I feel so guilty when I don't exercise though, so when I do, it does help.<br><br>
Has anyone else been overcome by cravings for sweets? I usually don't like sweets, but I am ALWAYS and forever wanting a cookie, or a piece of cake or something...<br>
Does a craving for sweets mean something is deficent? Or just that I am using pregnancy as an excuse to eat crap? =)
 

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About eating sweets... if you're having cravings for sweets, make sure you have healthier sweets in your house - fresh fruits, dried fruits, ovaltine to mix into milk if you're craving chocolate - then at least you feel like you're getting more than empty calories (like you would with candy, etc.).<br><br>
I don't know how much weight you've gained overall, but honestly, as long as you're eating healthy, getting some exercise, and keeping a positive outlook, your body will gain what it NEEDS to support your pregnancy. That could mean 15 pounds, that could mean 60.<br><br>
FWIW, I am in my 24th week, and I've probably gained about 25 lbs. I don't weigh myself at home, because it's just not necessary to worry about it. I gained 46 with my first, and it all came right off, with the exception of the last 5 - which I attribute to a combo of nursing (and thus continuing to eat more than I "needed", which is OKAY), being underweight to begin with (I probably was at my ideal weight post pregnancy with DD), and not exercising as much as I should have.<br><br>
But pregnancy is NOT the time to start an exercise plan or diet plan. It IS the time to continue moderate exercise, to eat well, to be happy. It is OKAY and PREFERABLE to gain weight while pregnant. It is BEAUTIFUL to be large when you're pregnant - you are nurturing life inside of you. It is the one time in your life when it just shouldn't matter to anyone else what your body looks like in terms of comparison to the cultural standards, because you are creating life, sustaining life... you are part of something miraculous!<br><br>
The weight WILL come off... don't worry about it now. Treasure that extra weight, and remember it's helping your body carry your baby.
 

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Blue Dragonfly,<br><br>
I am new to forums and posting. What do you mean when you say, "I'm not in your group?" Do we need to join a group or can we just cruise and respond when the spririt moves?<br><br>
Also, I agree with you. You are making a humandbeing and every women gains weight differently and in different places. I too have body image issues and also try to walk to work (only 1/2) daily but know that this is not enough for a 37-year-old women preparing to get pregnant again.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dspencer</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7347760"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Blue Dragonfly,<br><br>
I am new to forums and posting. What do you mean when you say, "I'm not in your group?" Do we need to join a group or can we just cruise and respond when the spririt moves?<br><br>
Also, I agree with you. You are making a humandbeing and every women gains weight differently and in different places. I too have body image issues and also try to walk to work (only 1/2) daily but know that this is not enough for a 37-year-old women preparing to get pregnant again.</div>
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She means that she isnt in our due date club and that she probally cruiseing the boards and saw this post and wanted to let the poster know that she isnt alone. Cruise away and respond when the spirt moves ya, good to have you here.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ks Mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7347710"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It is the one time in your life when it just shouldn't matter to anyone else what your body looks like in terms of comparison to the cultural standards, because you are creating life, sustaining life... you are part of something miraculous!</div>
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It should NEVER matter what the cultural standards are, I think socitey has set a norm and it should be BROKEN, woman are meant to have curves and you are meant to gain weight while pregnant. It is healthy. I too am overweight but I dont care what anyone else thinks. My dh thinks that I am beautiful and I am carrying our second child.<br><br>
You are doing something that no one else can. You are bringing yours and your dh child to life. Treat yourself kind and gentle and with respect. Love your body.<br><br>
I think you should do some afirmations everyday. Tell yourself, I am beautiful 30 times a day, soon you will believe it. Come up with some other ones and stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself these great wonderful things about yourself. Soon you will believe it!<br><br>
Hugs to you mama<br><br>
With lots of love<br>
Angie<br>
due june 9th
 

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I agree with all these wise women, and I also understand exactly where you're coming from. I had an eating disorder in my teens and still struggle with some of the internalized thoughts that came along with it; it's so tough to see yourself as beautiful when your eyes are only seeing the change in size, you know?<br><br>
But! Your body is doing what it needs to be doing to build a beautiful baby. You are functioning to your full female potential in a way you've never done before! Think of the figured of female beauty up until the 1960s or so; the most beautiful art of the most beautiful women in the world has almost always protrayed them with curves and hips and rounded bellies and all the beauty that your body is now producing naturally. Did you know that corsets used to be sold with inflatable balloons in the hips/butt and bust, so that slender girls (ie, today's beauty ideal) could look curvy? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
And if you go back just a little bit further, the ideal of beauty in the high middle ages was about six months pregnant! All the dresses were cut to make a woman - even if she wasn't pregnant - look just like you are now: fertile and glowing and full. Women who weren't pregnant even had their wedding/betrothal portraits painted making them look pregnant, 'cause it was a lucky and beautiful thing! (I'm not even kidding - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Arnolfini_Portrait" target="_blank">the Arnolfini Portrait</a>)<br><br>
(Does any of this help to cheer you up at all? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: )
 

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All very good advice!! I'll give you a little cheat/hint though if you are really bothered by looking fat rather than pregnant...start wearing maternity clothes! You will definitely look pregnant and you will feel like showing it off too. It's very fun wearing maternity clothes..even if you are just showing a bit, you will look VERY pregnant--there will be no guessing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
But like everyone says...just enjoy it, and remember you are not fat, you are pregnant. Big difference!<br><br>
As for swelling...my sister had that problem too. I am 26 weeks and have had no swelling of any kind--the difference could be yoga?? I do prenatal yoga for 3 hours a week and I think it makes a difference.<br><br>
ENjoy!!!!
 

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I hate to echo the sentiments, but you're pregnant! I'm about 27 weeks, and I've gained 35 lbs thus far! My wedding rings haven't fit for 2 months, I grew a double chin, and I have "back fat" and about three thousand stretch marks... and honestly, it doesn't bother me at all.<br><br>
You've got to focus on how you feel, physically, and be in awe of what your body is capable of doing in such a short amount of time. You aren't "fat", you're creating a whole human being inside your torso! Let that sink in for a second and just reflect on in a few more months, you will have an entire PERSON that you created! It's magical and mysterious and wonderful. It really distracts you from the weight!<br><br>
Let my DH hit on you, haha.... he is FASCINATED with pregnant women. He thinks us gestating folk are far more appealing than the non-pregnant women... he says we're like "fruit trees, ripe and full"... Don't ask me what that means <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> He says a pregnant woman is full and curvaceous and "bubbly" in a way that is so sexy, especially when you think about how they got that way! Think about it like that... pregnancy is a VERY sensual experience... all the "fun" parts of you swell up and create this gorgeous silhouette!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Redifer</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7349385"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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Let my DH hit on you, haha.... he is FASCINATED with pregnant women. He thinks us gestating folk are far more appealing than the non-pregnant women... he says we're like "fruit trees, ripe and full"... Don't ask me what that means <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> He says a pregnant woman is full and curvaceous and "bubbly" in a way that is so sexy, especially when you think about how they got that way! Think about it like that... pregnancy is a VERY sensual experience... all the "fun" parts of you swell up and create this gorgeous silhouette!</div>
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Hehehe! My DH is the same way - it's really wonderful... I think we're lucky ladies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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...and if all else fails, go into a maternity store (not a store with just a department, a real, boutique-y kind of store), tell them how far along you are and let them gawk and be amazed at how slender you still are. It works, honestly!<br><br>
I have the same thing going on as you, honestly. I'm 23 weeks (almost) and all you can "see" is that my midsection has filled out some. Combined with my maternity pants (that I got because my other pants just literally drop down my butt) that makes the look more "skinny gal in need of abs" than "pregnant". It's really easy to feel fat this way, and I've dealt with the same feelings as you are now over the last few weeks.<br><br>
*here follows a disclaimer: by NO means at all I think *any* belly could be ugly, but this is just the way I have to think about myself right now to feel confident in my own skin*<br><br>
My current mantra is: wow, look how well my body is hiding this baby, I'd rather be this way than have a really big belly already! I think I'm much more comfortable than girls with bigger bellies right now too, so I think of that as a benefit <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I hope you will start feeling better about yourself soon. It honestly is a change of attitude that's needed for that, and believe me, I'm better but still not quite there yet either!
 

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I know how your feeling mama. Pregnancy is beautiful but it still can be hard to watch your entire body get larger. The fact that we live in a skinny obsessed culture does not help at all. Most women who are pregnant gain weight in the thighs, face, butt, boobs, and arms. I didn't know this until I was preg with DS #1 and it was not fun. I was expecting to look like one of the preg celeb/models you see on TV - yeah, that didn't happen <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Try not to stress, the weight will come off after the baby is born. You can get your old body back, heck some women lose more than just their preg weight while BF. I was able to lost my preg weight plus an extra 10 lbs when DS was a little over a year old.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Cersha</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7345780"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know I should exercise more. I probably exercise three times a week...generally I do a Walk Away the Pounds tape....I should probably get outside....but I just can't seem to get motivated during the daylight hours...and I don't feel comfortable enough in my neighborhood to walk at night, you know?<br><br>
I feel so guilty when I don't exercise though, so when I do, it does help.<br><br>
Has anyone else been overcome by cravings for sweets? I usually don't like sweets, but I am ALWAYS and forever wanting a cookie, or a piece of cake or something...<br>
Does a craving for sweets mean something is deficent? Or just that I am using pregnancy as an excuse to eat crap? =)</div>
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First of all, I'm will you sister. I've definately filled out, and though I refuse to judge myself based on cultural standards of body image, I am not meeting my own expectations right now. That's the hard part.<br><br>
What keeps me on positive rather than negative side, however; is knowing that a HUGE amount of this puff is water retention. I've always been an extraordinary retainer and by the end of the day I feel positively buoyant. Knowing this doesn't help me feel any sexier but reminding myself of it keeps me in a postive frame of mind. After the birth I know I'll deflate significantly.<br><br>
I know excercise is the last thing you probably want to hear about/embark on right now but even a 15 minute walk will encourage your body to reduce it's water. The puffiness always comes out of my hands/face first.<br><br>
And on the topic of sweets.... YES! This has been especially hard for me too. When I think about it though I realize that I'm probably eating as much sweets/crap as what people *normally* eat, only it seems like A LOT in comparison to what *I* normally eat. I've been trying to eat fruits and berries to stave off the desire but it only works about 1/4 the time. Going to the market is excruciatingly tempting. My sweet drive is severe. I've been doing pretty good by eating fruit (dried in salads and in fruit/nut mixes) with nearly every meal. I'm also drinking orange juice on occasion--something I never used to have. There is always ice cream in our fridge now-a-days, and I eat a few spoonfulls at a time throughout the day and some days none at all. I probably eat a total of a 1/2 cup a day which isn't really that bad. Also, remember that pregnant ladies maintain a higher blood sugar level than non-pregnant ladies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
I hope you feel better soon<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm sorry, did you say you'd gained FOUR pounds TOTAL and you're SO fat?<br><br>
I can fluctuate four pounds just after eating a salty meal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Honey, you're having a baby. You're gonna gain weight. A lot more than four pounds, too.<br><br>
Stop fighting it. You will only cause yourself angst, and you won't be doing your baby any favors either.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>chinaKat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7354519"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm sorry, did you say you'd gained FOUR pounds TOTAL and you're SO fat?<br><br>
I can fluctuate four pounds just after eating a salty meal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Honey, you're having a baby. You're gonna gain weight. A lot more than four pounds, too.<br><br>
Stop fighting it. You will only cause yourself angst, and you won't be doing your baby any favors either.</div>
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I don't know how much weight I've gained. I had gained four pounds at my last appointment (a month ago). I find out this week how much I've gained since then. I was in the overweight range of the BMI scale BEFORE I got pregnant, and if I gain the min for overwieght ppl, I'll be heavier than I've EVER been in my life...and that's a little scary to me.<br><br>
I went for a walk with my DH and my doggies today. That helped my attitude a bit. I did my prenatal video last night, and my muscles are feeling a little burn from that (that burn helps SOOO much). It's just that, I feel like if I LOOKED pregnant, I would feel better. I sit down, and I have rolls. I walk around, and my belly button is still in (so in shirts, I have this crater looking thing in my shirt, which adds to the "fat" look.) I just keep waiting for my uterus to get big enough to stop those issues.<br><br>
For me, it isn't so much how many POUNDS I gain, it's what I LOOK like. I'm upset that my rings don't fit, and that my face is plumper, and that my arms are pudgier. If I just gained baby, that would be one thing, but I'm not. I'm gaining all over. Yuck.<br><br>
I know that this is extra hard on me, because I have so many body image issues. I am SO blessed to have a DH that doesn't see the flaws that I see, or if he does, he has the good sense not to say that I do! I try to look at myself more kindly, and some days are great...and then somedays are days like yesterday (when I wrote this).<br><br>
thanks for all your support and your perpectives on the situation. I suppose it's just an issue of mind over matter. =)
 

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You're feeling what most of us have felt at some point or another, I'm sure! Gaining weight is tough - even when you've got a good excuse <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> You'll probably feel this way until you get your first "pregnancy" comment from a stranger - and then you'll feel deserving of the extra pounds <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>GenomicsGirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7355773"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You're feeling what most of us have felt at some point or another, I'm sure! Gaining weight is tough - even when you've got a good excuse <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> You'll probably feel this way until you get your first "pregnancy" comment from a stranger - and then you'll feel deserving of the extra pounds <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"></div>
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I AM looking forward to the stranger's comment. =)
 

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<b>Honey, *most* mamas gain weight all over. The "basket ball" pregnancy bump is about as standard as a supermodel's figure.</b><br><br>
It's *normal* to gain everywhere, and do you know why? Just like you can't "spot lose" weight, you can't "spot gain" it. Your body is slowly building reserves to support a baby... those reserves are evenly distributed amongst all your fat cells. Your body is also increasing its liquid volume, and that is an all over gain as well.<br><br>
Unfortunately, you *are* going to feel bigger... because you WILL be bigger. And even though society screams at us every day that bigger does not equal better, that's just WRONG when it comes to pregnancy.<br><br>
Yeah, it totally sucks to feel rotund. I know, because I'm a big gainer in pregnancy myself. I personally don't get the whole "I feel so beautiful when I'm pregnant" thing because I don't -- I don't enjoy much of the process. But the key is keeping your eyes on the prize. Your body is hosting a new life, and that's what's most important.<br><br>
I really do hear ya -- I hate feeling BIG. But it's best to let it go. Eat healthy food and just don't think about the numbers. Hard to do, but really your best option.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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