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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I was poised the question "are you using a crib" and I said "no" then I was asked a series of more complicated questions and bumbled like a crunchy idiot <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
So my question to you. What "sleep furniture" do I need? I plan on cosleeping until DH is uncomfortable with them in the room with us. I know that sounds strange, but work with me, it was a marital concession.<br><br>
Our house is a "cape cod" so our room us upstairs and the nursery is down stairs. So I really don't want to scale stairs to BF. I figure I will get a cosleeper (cause I'm scared to roll over on my baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">) then when they are a bit bigger and I am over rolling on them up grade the family bed from a Full to at least a queen.<br><br>
I planned on getting a twin bed off the bat to put in the nursery. I feel like everyone needs their own space I need everyone to have their own space so I can keep our tiny little house clean!<br><br>
I got the WTF stare when I said that I wasn't cosleeping and I wasn't using a crib. I mean they will have their own bed and can use it as toddlers if they want, but I don't care if they come to bed with us in the middle of the night either.<br><br>
Now that I have it "on paper" it makes sense to me! Now I am wondering why I got the WTF look. I hate that if you don't do things "like every one else" you are somehow doing it wrong, or making things harder on yourself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Sorry this got long, but what do you mamas think?
 

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If you had told me you weren't co-sleeping or using a crib I'd probably say, "So baby's sleeping in the drawer huh?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> J/K<br><br>
For what it's worth I count getting a co-sleeper as co-sleeping.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Breeder</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12366582"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If you had told me you weren't co-sleeping or using a crib I'd probably say, "So baby's sleeping in the drawer huh?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> J/K</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/notes2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="notes right-handed">: Sleeping.......in........drawer <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
You know how it goes, I hate to tell people "Oh I want to co-sleep" half think that you are going to spoil/kill/warp your child and the other half think a cosleeper isn't cosleeping!
 

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Your plan sounds good to me! The only thing I might suggest, from my own experience, is to consider getting a crib and using to as a sidecar to your bed. Our cosleeper was useless (except to store books and diapers!) because there is about a 10" difference in the mattress levels so you can't just roll over to nurse. And after about 4 months they are too big for it. We now have our sidecar crib mattress intentionally lower than our adult mattress to keep thrashing sleeper ds in his own space. Love it!
 

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How on earth can you sleep with another adult in a full sized bed? I am impressed! We have a king and it as big as we have needed for our son to sleep with us his whole life (he's 21 months old). We have a crib and me thinks it will never be used...<br><br>
Your plan sounds just fine to me, except I would say that you should upgrade to the king ASAP, forget about the queen! Also, be prepare with that twin bed in the nursery should you need to sleep there with the babe some night (or should your DP need to escape) in case of illness on the part of the parent or the child. Or just for whatever reason. We have had to sleep apart some nights just to make sure everyone gets enough rest. Don't let me worry you unnecessarily, though--sleeping apart is a rarity!<br><br>
Also, sometimes having another bed in the house is handy for some romantic time after your little one is asleep. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sugarlumpkin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12367461"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How on earth can you sleep with another adult in a full sized bed?</div>
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DH is about 6'6" I'm 5'8" I don't know how we do it, I guess we really really like to be close!<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sugarlumpkin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12367461"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Your plan sounds just fine to me, except I would say that you should upgrade to the king ASAP, forget about the queen! Also, be prepare with that twin bed in the nursery should you need to sleep there with the babe some night (or should your DP need to escape) in case of illness on the part of the parent or the child. Or just for whatever reason. We have had to sleep apart some nights just to make sure everyone gets enough rest. Don't let me worry you unnecessarily, though--sleeping apart is a rarity!<br><br>
Also, sometimes having another bed in the house is handy for some romantic time after your little one is asleep. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"></div>
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There is also a futon in the nursery thats pretty comfy to sleep on for guest or whatever its needed for.<br><br>
I've read not to sidecar cribs because they can get stuck between the big bed and the crib bed? Any truth to this?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>henny penny</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12367386"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Your plan sounds good to me! The only thing I might suggest, from my own experience, is to consider getting a crib and using to as a sidecar to your bed. Our cosleeper was useless (except to store books and diapers!) because there is about a 10" difference in the mattress levels so you can't just roll over to nurse. And after about 4 months they are too big for it. We now have our sidecar crib mattress intentionally lower than our adult mattress to keep thrashing sleeper ds in his own space. Love it!</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
Exactly. We've had this arrangement for ages now, and the crib mattress is totally flush with the adult bed (crib against the wall, wedged tightly against the adult bed) so there's no danger of baby getting stuck in the gap.<br><br>
As for the wtf looks...well, consider this practice. It won't be the last time you're seen as insane for your AP practices. I just present it as if it's totally normal (which it is) and easier for YOU (which it is).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>henny penny</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12367386"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Your plan sounds good to me! The only thing I might suggest, from my own experience, is to consider getting a crib and using to as a sidecar to your bed. Our cosleeper was useless (except to store books and diapers!) because there is about a 10" difference in the mattress levels so you can't just roll over to nurse. And after about 4 months they are too big for it. We now have our sidecar crib mattress intentionally lower than our adult mattress to keep thrashing sleeper ds in his own space. Love it!</div>
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YUP! Go for the side car. I got over the rolling over on my babe fear within the first week. The co sleeper was a 200 dollar storage unit. Then if you do want to transition to a crib later, your babe will already be used to it.<br>
BTW...I live in SW Ohio too.<br>
We also only had a double bed. We wanted a king but didn't have the big bucks to buy it. So we went to Big Lots and bought the 99 dollar twin and pushed it up against our double. Both are on the floor with just the box springs. I covered with a huge quilt so no little arms or feet get into the crack and we love it. So much space. A queen probably won't give you enough space. Especially if the little one starts sleeping perpendicular to you.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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When DS was an infant, I had a full-sized crib in my bedroom, about 2-3 feet away from the bed. Sometimes he'd sleep in the crib, other times in my bed. I'd often hear him stirring and wake up, go to the bathroom, then bring him to bed to nurse on my way back (as opposed to having a fussy baby next to me who cried when I wanted to go pee and didn't want to wait to nurse.)<br><br>
It was nice having a safe place to put him if I needed 2 minutes to myself (say to put in a load of laundry on another level of the house). It was also incredibly useful having the crib there when the CPS worker investigated us when DS was an infant (looong story)- she saw the crib and didn't ask whether or not we used it- but if there hadn't been a crib, it would have been another "red flag" against us.<br><br>
I think having the "baby's room" set up as a guest room is an excellent idea- but I still think you should have a good space for the baby to sleep in your room. Some babies do like some space to stretch out when they sleep- being in a crib a few feet away gives them that space without them being too far away.
 

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The looks (and comments) might become much easier to deal with once the baby's born. Before ds was born, on occasion I'd tell someone about some crazy ap thing I was going to do, and they'd tell me "what it's really like to have a baby", assuming that they knew more than I did, so they got to tell me that what worked for them was the way to do things. Once we had a baby, and he was reasonably well taken care of and clearly liked us, it was easier to say "It works for us," confidently and leave it at that. I've also been tempted to (but never actually) say, "If I wanted parenting advice I'd have gone to visit my grandmother (or insert other expert - mil, etc...) " In my immagination that shuts them up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ZZsMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12368136"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Before ds was born, on occasion I'd tell someone about some crazy ap thing I was going to do, and they'd tell me "what it's really like to have a baby", assuming that they knew more than I did, so they got to tell me that what worked for them was the way to do things.</div>
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Man, Tell me about it. You would think that I am some knocked up teenager the way some people talk to me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I'm really really bull headed, (like really really it's probably a flaw) but I've always been independent and it's not like I latch onto things and just run, there are some "AP" practices that I don't particularly agree with. Heck, I dont even agree with the title "AP" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> It's just a series or ideas and things that I think will be important of beneficial to my child of me as a parent!
 

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I'd get a queen now and sidecar a crib. I got over the rolling over baby fear in a couple days after he was born.
 

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How do you keep the crib from rolling? Maybe I'm just being ignorant...I never used one with my 3yo but I'm pregnant (and married) this time so this sounds wonderful...do you just take wheels off if it has wheels or do you strap it to the bed somehow?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kriket</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12366564"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Our house is a "cape cod" so our room us upstairs and the nursery is down stairs. So I really don't want to scale stairs to BF. I figure I will get a cosleeper (cause I'm scared to roll over on my baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">) then when they are a bit bigger and I am over rolling on them up grade the family bed from a Full to at least a queen.<br><br>
I planned on getting a twin bed off the bat to put in the nursery. I feel like everyone needs their own space I need everyone to have their own space so I can keep our tiny little house clean!<br></div>
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Hey Kriket- DH and I plan on doing pretty much the same thing. We aren't planning on getting a cosleeper just a King size bed right off the bat. We're gonna put a twin bed in the nursery too, in case anyone wants to bail from the family bed for a night if things get "hairy". <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> We're also thinking this sounds good "on paper" but who knows how things will be when the time comes. If the time ever comes....ho hum...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Your plan sounds good to me- what the hell do other people care about the way you sleep anyway??? weirdos...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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My response was usually 'we are just going to go with the flow and we'll end up where we all get the most sleep'
 

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My advice is to trust your instincts and don't be swayed from them by what anybody else says. I didn't want a crib. My plan was to get a futon type mattress and have baby sleep on the floor on the mattress (I read about this set-up in a Montessori book and it made sense to me, felt comfortable). Well, you'd have thought I was the biggest freak ever to not want a crib. Never having had a baby before, I questioned myself and ended up thinking all those people who've already had kids must know more than I do. So I got a crib and a dresser for the baby's room.<br><br>
14 months later the crib has been used all of about 2 hours and my husband convinced me to bring the baby into our bed because he just wouldn't sleep in his Moses basket. I took the crib down recently and just bought a twin mattress for the floor of the baby's room so we can nap in there (and I might be able to get up!). Every day I have wished I would have done my original plan and not listened to anyone else.<br><br>
So, do whatever you feel will work for you or what strikes you as the most natural setup for your way of thinking. Trust your own mama instincts- I've found they're almost always right for you and your baby. (I do agree about the king sized bed- we considered a queen, but it's only 4" wider than a full, whereas a king is 16" wider!)
 

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Hmm, our crib didn't have wheels. You should be able to "lock" them somehow to prevent them from rolling, or yes--you can take them off. Ours is wedged in so tightly against the adult bed that it probably couldn't move even if it did have wheels.<br><br>
You can also use bungee cords to strap the beds together, though I never found this necessary. If there's a gap between the crib mattress and the bed mattress, you can use a foam pool noodle (betw the crib mattress and the wall of the crib) to keep them flush.
 

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Don't have time to read all the posts, so sorry if I am repeating something. Twins? Ours are 7.5 months. Honestly, you aren't going to know what will work until they are here and you know their temperment, imo. We did one crib with them both in it when they were tiny. Then they came to bed with us. We have a queen. That quickly became too small. A king is better for 4 people I think. Then, they started crawling/rolling/scooting and i was too nervous with them in the bed. So now they are in a twin mattress on the floor. They each have their own and they are in different rooms as they wake each other up. This means I cosleep with them not the whole night, but to get them to sleep and when they wake up and want to nurse/need a dipe change. It is hard going back and forth. But sometimes dd sttn and I can't risk ds waking her. I hate screamfests in the middle of the night!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
Also, just food for thought, are you sure you will sleep well with them downstairs and you up? Even with a monitor? I didn't know this, but once you become a mother you spend hours at night going in to make sure they are covered up, breathing, the window is locked etc.<br><br>
Congratulations on the coming babies! See you in the multiple forum! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
HOLY CRAPS MAMA! I said nothing of twins! Maybe twin bed! You're scaring the crap outta me. I haven't had a U/S or anything I'm going to hyperventilate. No twins....<br><br>
I think you ladies are right, I think a crib side car would work best. I don't think we can afford a crib and a new bed, DH is really opposed to getting a new bed for us. I'm not sure why.
 

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yeah, i stepped back and then realized.. . . d'oh. well, this is what happens if you have twins. you become a bit confused. all. the. time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
so. . .<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">: congratulations on your coming BABY!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:
 
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