[hipem]

...

 

[Trinitty]

I couldn't read without posting.

Is there a way for you and your husband to get away together, with just the two of you, for the weekend? You two have some serious things to talk about, and you've been open and honest enough with each other up until this point, don't stop now.

You need to work this out and put an end to the causes of the problems.

Many men have fantasies about bringing in a second woman/third person to play around with in the bedroom in order to share that with their wives and to spice things up a bit.

It's a different thing to ACT on it. That changes things. We aren't Vulcans, when we do things that are intense, we have emotional reactions to them, envy, jealousy, etc.

I understand why you did what you did, I imagine that it's all part of being THAT close with someone, to share EVERYTHING with them, that's part of being a best friend and being close to someone.

But, the institution of marriage is there for a reason, to protect you while you are pregnant and nursing children and to protect your children. When (in my opinion) you start messing with that institution, monogamy, etc, then you really get problems because there are children involved.

If you still love your man, and it sure sounds like you two really love each other, I strongly recommend that you get away together and work this out, for you two and for your children.

Maybe even renew your vows? Re-affirm your commitment?

Is that the route you were wanting to go?

I'm so sorry that you're in troubled spot right now, but I hope that you're able to fix this with your husband.

Trin.

 

[Cullens_Girl]

I didn't want to read w/out offering

I'm sure others will have some good solid advice for you... I'm sorry about what you are going through.

 

[TinyBabyBean]

Love and light to you. I was drawn to this post and after reading it I see why. Without going into too many details I can not only empathize but also truly sympathize with what you are going through.

I think you need some time to think and really listen to yourself. Going with my gut I think that your husband does truly love you but due to some things he is lacking in himself he is seeking out approval with these other women and sexual situations. (not that there is anything wrong with it, I am just saying that suggesting it at a time when your relationship is already weak is not a good sign) There is so much I want to say but most importantly I have read that contrary to belief soul mates are not always the easiest person to get along with in your life but rather you each learn very much from each other. I noticed you mentioned he has helped you see the negative side of things. From where I am now I would say this is a total downer. HOWEVER, I had someone in my life indirectly show me exactly his side of things and it REALLY opened my eyes. I grew so much from the whole experience. I am a much less judgemental person now and so much more good has come from it.

Sometimes when we are thick down into the muck we can't see the layer of good as gold beneath it. I cannot in good conscience sit here and tell you to do one thing or the other. If I were to say listen to your heart, right now the top layer is reeling from the physical and possible other attraction to the male friend. So, I guess I am saying to dig deeper. That is my 2 cents.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com may offer some help to you both.

I am sending lots of love your way.

 

[hipem]

thank you for the support and advice, mamas. it is a difficult time.

tinybabybean, i have spent a lot of time today thinking about what you said about soulmates. it's an interesting perspective for sure.

 

[Pookietooth]

to you so sorry you're going through this. Listen to your heart, your gut.