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Ughn just what is wrong with carrying my baby?!?

663 Views 11 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  isaiahsmommy05
Just a little vent. I just got off the phone with my MIL and I couldn't be more

At the end of a plesant conversation up to that point DS had been asleep in his sling and started waking up. I mentioned something about it and she starts in. Why do I even talk to this woman? I had said that sometimes he has a really hard time going to sleep and I'll just put him in his sling and take a walk around the block and he's out like a light and since he's in the sling already, I just go about my business while carrying him. Her response "Well, I guess if you have the time for that then go ahead." What, like I'm not going to make time to make my baby comfortable? SHe threw in "You know, some mothers put their babies in cribs to sleep rather than cary them all the time." Co-sleeping is an issue that I don't even mention to her, but I just brushed off that remark with an "uh-huh' but the thing that sent me into lockjaw mode was "Well, maybe by your second child you'll at least consider doing it like everyone else."

EEERG!!!! I don't want children like everyone else, so why would I act like their parents?! I want children that feel well socialized, safe and secure and if that means holding them constantly, WHAT A FREAKING SMALL SACRIFICE!!!!!

Until I had a child, I really liked this woman too. I think part of the reason she makes any kind of deal about it is that if she watches him, she realizes she might have to hold him a lot and not just drop him off in a crib. For pete's sake, he's only 4 months old, just hold him while he'll let you. Before we know it he'll be 4 YEARS going "eewe mommy, don't kiss me so much"
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Yeah why does she not understand that babies need to be held. What is more important than that? I know, let's clean that kitchen (dripping w/ sarcasm). Are MILs fun? I just ignore mine now. I have two kids and I held the second just like I held the first.

Good Luck,

My MIL made similar comments with attitude. Sorry for you! Just shrug it off. It took me months to get over MIL attitude, but now I wear the 2nd child even more and decided to add EC-ing to the whole style as well. She doesn't know about that yet, but part of me can't wait to see the look when she finds out!
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So she thinks it's easier to stop what you're doing and go try to lay the baby in a crib? Or is this one of those "I suffered to raise my children, so why should you have it easy?" kind of things?

I hope to goodness I get a little one who's willing to sleep in a sling while I do stuff.
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I could have written your post when my dd1 was a baby. My MIL eventually got used to my parenting style. She still often disagrees, but has learned that she is not going to change my mind or convert me to the mainstream. She has also relaxed as she grew to love my dds as people. Hang in there, and, if necessary, stuff organic fair-trade cotton in your ears.
Hang in there, and, if necessary, stuff organic fair-trade cotton in your ears.
Ooh how I've been tempted! My DH is so torn at times like these. MIL looks to him to back her up and he knows better (both on the fact of the matter and better than going against me
) so he will usually just straight up get up and leave... usually returning with food in his mouth.
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Today I just feel 10 feet tall. We had Easter dinner at MIL's with her parents. At one point (totally out of the blue) MIL asks her mom "so what do you think of letting a baby just cry to sleep?"
And Grandma gives her this look ->
and says "Oh, no, that's horrible, why would you want to do that?"
MIL looks a bit forlorn, "I thought you were the one that told me to, I did it once and that's all it took."
Grandma looked surprised "well maybe I said if you've tried everything else and you're about to pull your hair out. I'm glad it took only once. I think that's how your brother ended up with so many issues. His dad always just wanted to put him in his crib aand make him go to sleep." (She's been divorced from that guy for a long time, btw)

Later, when everyone was gone. MIL says "well I guess I'll never get to babysit because he won't ever sleep for me" so I offered to show her how to use a sling and I think our conversations will be much more pleasant from here on out!
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That's good that maybe she is starting to nderstand. I have issues with my Mil too. She formula fed, and had c-sections with all of her kids. She everyonce i awhile tried to justify it to me, but it doesn't work well for me. I think sometimes they take it personally when we do it differently, and then they see that it works much better.
Yep MIL thinks I'm crazy too. She made a comment this weekend in a positive light, then followed it with a comment about her fear of his neck being hurt. Because she grew grew up hearing about a baby dying after being thrown up into the air and breaking her neck. Almost the same as being in the sling right? I can tell she really does not like my parenting style, but she never says much about it, so I'm lucky there.
It spoils them! You can't do that, or they'll expect to be carried all.the.time.!!! Put them down, so they don't get used to actually being held! Don't you know!?

I'd get comments from both stbx-mil and my own mother. I think with them it was partly 'doing it like everyone else' but also anything I did differently, especiallly with my mom, was taken as what she did was wrong. It's gotten a bit easier with dd a bit older, but I still have some of those head-banging days.

Originally Posted by Hazelnut
It spoils them! You can't do that, or they'll expect to be carried all.the.time.!!! Put them down, so they don't get used to actually being held! Don't you know!?

I hear this all the time. I just tell them that she has me spoiled and I cry when I lay her down
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