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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok this is wierd....

Because of certain cultures doing sex selection in this area (Midwife told me this was the reason), I can't get an ultrasound to determine sex before 24 weeks. Because Legally between 18-24 weeks it's still legal to get an abortion! Even AFTER 24 weeks I have to go to Parksville to get an ultrasound done to determine gender! Sure I can get a standard scan and whatnot through the clinic here, but they WONT tell me the gender, even though I have the possibility of giving birth to a babe with PS!!! (Esophagus doesn't attach to the stomach or there's a malfunction in the sphincter...or something like that)

God damnit.

So they dont play favorites they wont "tell" the gender to ANYONE.

It's so STUPID. So I have to drive a good I dunno... 45 minutes to get it done, JUST so I can prepare myself to observe for symptoms, and steel myself for possible surgery.

UNREAL.
bloody hell....*Bites tongue to keep from spewing something not politically correct*
 

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Well, I understand why they won't let "special" people do it. Don't want to cause an uprise. It sucks that they have these problems in the first place.

Hang in there! Not knowing the gender isn't the end of the world (we tried to find out with dd, but she would not let us see and we won't be finding out this time.)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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Originally Posted by elmh23
Well, I understand why they won't let "special" people do it. Don't want to cause an uprise. It sucks that they have these problems in the first place.

Hang in there! Not knowing the gender isn't the end of the world (we tried to find out with dd, but she would not let us see and we won't be finding out this time.)
Umm, When there's a genetic disorder that runs in your family exclusive to one gender it sort of is imperative that you know in advance if it's a boy or a girl just to be prepared for the possibility of it occuring.

Say Hemophilia runs in your husband's side, exclusive to his sons. You are pregnant, You would REALLY like to know if you're having a boy or a girl so you know that your babe wont bleed out and die if he gets any sort of trauma that causes bruising/nicks/cuts. Bruising can and does occur in births. It's best to be prepared for the eventuality.

The genetic disorder that affects the males from my family is serious as well. Call it Super Duper Mega Reflux, well because the food can't go into the stomach at all. Sure there's a few days after birth to observe and take weight, but really, better be prepared so one is extra vigilant and doesn't dismiss the spew as "oh must have a tummy bubble!"
 

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It's your body growing the baby and I think if you want to know the sex it is totally up to you. It isn't their place to determine that or what you choose to do with the info. It just rubs me the wrong way that they can know the sex of your baby and with hold that info from you when you choose to know.
 

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derrr....if they aren't looking for that disorder then what are they doing the ultrasound for? And if it's just a routine ultrasound couldn't they just wait a few more weeks (it would be like 4, right?) to do it so you could get all the details?

Maybe it's because I don't know the whole story, but I'm confuzzled
either way it stinks for you and sorry
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by leximom
derrr....if they aren't looking for that disorder then what are they doing the ultrasound for? And if it's just a routine ultrasound couldn't they just wait a few more weeks (it would be like 4, right?) to do it so you could get all the details?

Maybe it's because I don't know the whole story, but I'm confuzzled
either way it stinks for you and sorry

I am waiting till the 24 week mark. but the real Durr is If I want to find out the gender (and I do) I STILL have to go 30 minutes away because the local hospital/US clinic wont even tell the parents, or the practitioners the gender even after that.

I just think it's all sanctamonious bullcrap...
 

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If the "PS" stands for pyloric stenosis (sounded like it from your description), this is something that can happen to both boys and girls, though it is more common in boys. So, either way, with a family history, you should be aware of the symptoms regardless of the baby's sex. The symptoms generally don't show up until 2-3 weeks of age, and knowing the sex of your baby at 18 weeks vs. 24 weeks really shouldn't make any difference in your ability to tell if your baby is affected.

As for the u/s, that's annoying that you have to drive out of your way. . . for us the hospital is 45 minutes away anyway, so that wouldn't be too big a deal for me. I can understand why you're bummed about having to wait until 24 weeks to find out the sex, but don't forget that ultrasounds are not 100% accurate at determining sex anyway. So, REALLY, without an amnio, you won't know for sure until your baby arrives!

It is so sad to think of someone aborting their baby because it's not the sex they hoped for
: .

Lex
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by lexbeach
If the "PS" stands for pyloric stenosis (sounded like it from your description), this is something that can happen to both boys and girls, though it is more common in boys. So, either way, with a family history, you should be aware of the symptoms regardless of the baby's sex. The symptoms generally don't show up until 2-3 weeks of age, and knowing the sex of your baby at 18 weeks vs. 24 weeks really shouldn't make any difference in your ability to tell if your baby is affected.

As for the u/s, that's annoying that you have to drive out of your way. . . for us the hospital is 45 minutes away anyway, so that wouldn't be too big a deal for me. I can understand why you're bummed about having to wait until 24 weeks to find out the sex, but don't forget that ultrasounds are not 100% accurate at determining sex anyway. So, REALLY, without an amnio, you won't know for sure until your baby arrives!

It is so sad to think of someone aborting their baby because it's not the sex they hoped for
: .

Lex
Yeah that's what it is, and that's what the midwife said too. But it's good to be prepared "just in case" KWIM?? And in my family it's strictly a boy problem. A good %25 of boys born in my family gets it. So I have reason to be concerned.

Hopefully with the "Branching out" of my family ifun ya know what I mean, the incidences will get less and less...

And I agree that it's sad to think of someone aborting due to gender...but it's their body, their choice, and it's not illegal until a certain time in the pregnancy...
 

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Having a vaguely similar desire to know the gender asap, I totally understand your frustration! Now, I'm not sure how the canadian medical sysem works, but given your family history and the fact that you're measuring big, can you not get a referral to a perinatologist to investigate this who would do his or her own scans and tell you for the medical reasons? I understand in Canada sometimes it can be tough to see a specialist, but I don't know the ins and outs. It only seems to me you qualify from both history and current measurements to see a perinatologist for a consult.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by WinterBaby
Having a vaguely similar desire to know the gender asap, I totally understand your frustration! Now, I'm not sure how the canadian medical sysem works, but given your family history and the fact that you're measuring big, can you not get a referral to a perinatologist to investigate this who would do his or her own scans and tell you for the medical reasons? I understand in Canada sometimes it can be tough to see a specialist, but I don't know the ins and outs. It only seems to me you qualify from both history and current measurements to see a perinatologist for a consult.
Midwife told me that the measuring big was probably just a growth spurt, and it's all a law of averages anyway...The other midwife panicked me unneccisarily I guess.

And I dont want ot see a Peri because I dont want to risk out of a homebirth. I'll just wait till the 24wk mark. It isn't THAT far away..16th of August. Time flies lol
 

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I think I read something about a finger prick test that claims to be able to determine sex of a baby. It is based off of the new finding that fetal dna circulates in maternal blood. When I was pregnant with my son (20 months old now) we used the same technology to draw a dna profile. The tests are expensive, but it may be worth it to you.

http://www.tellmepinkorblue.com/

I have not used this company, so I can't speak to their integrity, but it may be an option for you.
 

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That sucks! I hate in when 'they' have the right to information and to keep us from it! I totally understand you not wanting to put you and the babe at the mercy of the system. I, myself, am very cautious not to step a foot in that medicalized opinion of pregnancy world....
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandora114
Yeah that's what it is, and that's what the midwife said too. But it's good to be prepared "just in case" KWIM?? And in my family it's strictly a boy problem. A good %25 of boys born in my family gets it. So I have reason to be concerned.

Hopefully with the "Branching out" of my family ifun ya know what I mean, the incidences will get less and less...

And I agree that it's sad to think of someone aborting due to gender...but it's their body, their choice, and it's not illegal until a certain time in the pregnancy...
I truly don't say this to be unsympathetic, but, would knowing that your baby had this condition change your decision about carrying the pregnancy to term? If the answer is no, then it shouldn't matter to wait another couple of weeks to get the U/S. If the answer is yes, then you should go ahead and make the drive and find out now while you still have options open to you.

Hope everything is all right with your babe,
Judi
 

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If they can't determine whether there is an issue until 2-3 weeks post birth why do you need to know the sex now? You said it runs on the boy side generally speaking, at least in your family - well, if you have a boy you will know at the time of birth that you need to pay close attention to this but I guess I don't get why you need to know this now when you can't do anything about it until 2-3 weeks after the birth?

I have friends that live in Canada and in certain provinces they can't find out the sex at all either. I don't really think there is anything wrong with that but I choose not the have U/S. Honestly they could tell you boy and you could get all worried for nothing, they could tell you girl and you could think you are out of the woods but she could still have this same condition.

Keri
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandora114
Umm, When there's a genetic disorder that runs in your family exclusive to one gender it sort of is imperative that you know in advance if it's a boy or a girl just to be prepared for the possibility of it occuring.

Say Hemophilia runs in your husband's side, exclusive to his sons. You are pregnant, You would REALLY like to know if you're having a boy or a girl so you know that your babe wont bleed out and die if he gets any sort of trauma that causes bruising/nicks/cuts. Bruising can and does occur in births. It's best to be prepared for the eventuality.

The genetic disorder that affects the males from my family is serious as well. Call it Super Duper Mega Reflux, well because the food can't go into the stomach at all. Sure there's a few days after birth to observe and take weight, but really, better be prepared so one is extra vigilant and doesn't dismiss the spew as "oh must have a tummy bubble!"
Well see you didn't mention that part. Will they do one after 24 weeks and let you know the gender? Are you on base? I'm surprised base wouldn't let you know, since Canada doesn't have the same issues as the country in question.

Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by elmh23
Well see you didn't mention that part. Will they do one after 24 weeks and let you know the gender? Are you on base? I'm surprised base wouldn't let you know, since Canada doesn't have the same issues as the country in question.

Good luck!
Yup after 24 weeks the hospital 30mins away will tell the gender. No big.

And No, it wont affect me carrying to term because the big A is illegal after 24 weeks, not like I'd get one anyway. I just need time to research the surgery and the condition BEFORE the babe comes because hevan knows I wont have any time AFTER, caring for a 3.5yr old AND a newborn...AND a husband who will be getting the snip KWIM??

I think my biggest beef with this situation is Two wrongs not making a right.

A: Gender Selection isn't the well lets say, the kindest thing in the world

BUT

B: Who is it of THEM to enforce THEIR morality on others (read the clinics hospital)

Both are wrong...

That's what eats me...that's about it..

and BTW: In Canada the military dependants have to use the Civilian medical system. Cannot use the Military system because it's reserved for military members only. And anyway, if an active duty woman got pregnant, she would have to use the Civilian services as well because the Military hospitals dont have any real umm..birthing options (read not equipped at all...and dont have midwives)

AANYWAY, Midwife also told me there's an insane waiting list even locally for the anatomy scan. Mid August is the earlyest. Super baby boom around here I guess hehehe.

So Even if I were to go locally, I'd have to wait till 24 weeks no matter what due to the waiting list.
 

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Personally I don't think waiting until 24 weeks is all that big a deal. For u/s purposes the baby will be all that much more developed and the tech will be able to get a better overall look at the anatomy. Plus you will have a better chance of accurately determining gender.

I'm sure if there were a reason for them to do the u/s before 24 weeks, they would have done it. It sounds like it can wait though.

BTW on another board, just a couple of weeks ago, there was a woman who aborted her perfectly healthy 18 week old fetus because he was a boy! She was not from any particular "culture".
 

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Can you get your U/S done at a clinic? My midwife told me that in BC is actually illegal to find out the sex, but no one really follows that because it is not inforced but she told me to go to a clinic just to be sure. We are having the 3D one done (you have to pay for it in BC) they always tell you what the sex is then. We have a great clinic in Coquitlam called Medray we had it done for DS and it was great, we found our the sex at 20 weeks.

I think it is sick that people abort for sex reasons but you have a reason to have the u/s early. Where on the Island are you?
 

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I'm in the same boat (and in the same location as you by the sounds of it!) My son has autism and the chances of a baby boy having autism is significantly higher. I want to prepare myself emotionally.
My dr said that if Parksville was full, Vancouver was the next closest.
I go to comox hospital in a month for the ultrasound. I'm hoping to get a nice techy who will tell me as I hear it depends on the person doing the scan.
 

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I think its disgusting that medical personnel feel they have the right to withhold information from you about YOUR body. Its pathetic the way that medical practicioners feel they are holier than tho and are in charge of our care. Its YOUR body and YOUR test, YOU should be able to know every bit of information on it.

Regardless of the abortion debate, its still your body and if you want to know the sex of your baby, or any other information they have in front of them, they dang well should give it to you.
 
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