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Uma Thurman lauds the working mom
by auditioning contributor Laura:

Like many women, Uma Thurman often feels torn between her family and career. "I've learned that every working mom is a superwoman," the 36-year-old actress tells Parade magazine in its July 16 issue. "For most of the world, it's really a necessity. The stay-at-home mom is over not just because of women's liberation but because of men's liberation from wanting to be the breadwinners."

Uma, nominated for an Oscar for her role in 1994's Pulp Fiction, filed for divorce from Ethan Hawke in 2004 after six years of marriage. They have two children, Maya, 8, and Levon, 4. "I have a great career and two healthy, beautiful, smart and funny children," she tells the magazine. "We're an incredibly tight-knit threesome, and we have so much fun together." The actress, who says she's "just another American woman who was in an unfulfilled marriage that fell apart," refuses to throw any dishy darts at the 35-year-old Hawke. "I cannot participate in anything critical about my children's father," she says.

Sources: The Boston Globe, Wire Services
 

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I read that too and thought it was sort of a weird statement though in some ways it rang true for my family even though I am a SAHM --- dh has admitted he is really glad that I am well educated and skilled so that if he can't cover us financially I could pitch in on the money front and it is a relief to him to know that when the kids are bigger and I am working he will have help saving for our retirement/paying for college.

As an aside, I really like Uma Thurman. I remember reading she started a nonprofit organization with a regular old social worker neighbor when she lived in a Brooklyn walk-up (while married to Ethan Hawke and post all of her Pulp Fiction success) to get wealthy new moms to donate all their extra baby stuff/gifts and whatnot to new moms who really needed the stuff. I remember reading that she was sort of horrified by the amount of baby stuff she was given when she knew some people couldn't afford the basics. I have had a soft spot for her ever since.

BJ
Barney & Ben
 

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Celebrities who had children after becoming celebrities truly live in a different world than the rest of us. Uma can afford the very best care for her children when she's away. She can probably stipulate in her contracts that she wants her children to have access to her while she's filming. She can probably go several weeks or months between contracts and plan getaways with her kids when she's not working.

Celebrities who speak of parenting like they know what the average family goes through financially or emotionally are speaking out of a certain amount of ignorance, if you ask me.

As for the SAHM being over and the working mother being a 'superwoman', my only thought is this: If you have to be a superwoman to work - meaning, in my interpretation, that you have to balance career, family and personal time using some astounding mental, physical and emotional prowess - then perhaps it's... um... too much for a lot of us? Superwomen burn out. I want to have a family and career and personal time, too. But I don't have to have it all at once. I know and accept my limits happily. My family and personal time is now. When my family needs me less, I will focus more on my career. I'm just as much of a feminist as the next person, but I also believe that we try to cram too much into our lives at once in our society. Being a SAHM allows my entire family to slow. right. down. It's a beautiful thing for all of us
 

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Eh, Superwoman is sooooo 1960s anyways.
 

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I'm going to choose not to take offense at what she said, because I like her


but the whole "Superwoman" or super-mom thing chaps my hide. Guess I'm just Regular Mom. Oh well. And I do agree that celebrities need to get the idea out of their head that they understand remotely what's going on day to day in normal life. Their work, their schedules, their livelihoods, everything- it's all quite different than a 9-5 at Kmart or even a CEO position.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by deleria
Celebrities who had children after becoming celebrities truly live in a different world than the rest of us. Uma can afford the very best care for her children when she's away. She can probably stipulate in her contracts that she wants her children to have access to her while she's filming. She can probably go several weeks or months between contracts and plan getaways with her kids when she's not working.

Celebrities who speak of parenting like they know what the average family goes through financially or emotionally are speaking out of a certain amount of ignorance, if you ask me.

As for the SAHM being over and the working mother being a 'superwoman', my only thought is this: If you have to be a superwoman to work - meaning, in my interpretation, that you have to balance career, family and personal time using some astounding mental, physical and emotional prowess - then perhaps it's... um... too much for a lot of us? Superwomen burn out. I want to have a family and career and personal time, too. But I don't have to have it all at once. I know and accept my limits happily. My family and personal time is now. When my family needs me less, I will focus more on my career. I'm just as much of a feminist as the next person, but I also believe that we try to cram too much into our lives at once in our society. Being a SAHM allows my entire family to slow. right. down. It's a beautiful thing for all of us

Right ON, Amanda! You said it. That should be a letter to the editor of The Boston Globe.
 

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I've been both WOHM and SAHM, and being a SAHM is a lot more challenging than working out of the home. Being a stay at home mom means being on call 24/7 and never getting a mental break.
 

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I've been both WOHM and SAHM, and being a SAHM is a lot more challenging than working out of the home. Being a stay at home mom means being on call 24/7 and never getting a mental break.

Too tired to wax intellectual. This supermom needs to rest
:
 

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Yes I've been both and I feel they both present challenges. I can't stand the need to constantly compete or compare. I'm sure the stress of both vary from woman to woman as everyone has different situations, jobs, families, values, etc. I get that Uma is promoting her movie . . . I still like her but I think articles like this just further divide moms.
 

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What if you don't want to be "superwoman"? I have no desire to work outside of the home. Would it be nice to have the extra money, HECK YEAH! Will I do it at the sacrifice of me, no.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Uma
"For most of the world, it's really a necessity. The stay-at-home mom is over not just because of women's liberation but because of men's liberation from wanting to be the breadwinners."
Its true. Men don't want to be the breadwinners anymore. BUt I personally find it to be a bit more complex than this.

But I don't think its over for moms who stay home with their childrennow or in the future.
 

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Men's Liberation . . .
So many women my age are married to men who want an equal financial partner AND a housewife. My sister and I call the condition that results from this pressure "feminine rage syndrome".
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Rowdypea
Men's Liberation . . .
So many women my age are married to men who want an equal financial partner AND a housewife. My sister and I call the condition that results from this pressure "feminine rage syndrome".
ding ding ding!
i couldn't agree more. i have to agree with Uma on the bread winner thing and and to some extent the women's liberation movement. but by saying 'it's over' in some absolute way is ridiculous. someone needs to go educated Ms. Thurman. and while they're at it, could they ask her how she stays so raidiant and pass the info onto me?
 

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I was really offended by this article. I guess Uma thinks all SAHMs are just sitting on their butts watching soaps all day. I am a SAHM and I work just as hard as anyone else I know (in fact I rarely get time to post here, morning or evening!). Hollywood moms just have no clue. They live such a different life.
 

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I think all good mothers are Superwoman. I think my mom (and dad) did a great job (with me, anyway...my older sister and younger brother could have stood a bit more discipline
: ). They really knew how to balance family and career. That said, she had a career that was a bit more flexible. She was self-employed as a hair stylist and owned her own shop for years. We were raised to think hangin' out at the beauty shop was fun! So, she was able to work and keep an eye on us at the same time. (of course, now I blame her for thinking hangin' out at the beauty shop is fun...it costs a lot to hang out these days
)

Of course, there were things she missed out on. I always wished she could have been my room mother in school. I longed for her to attend parties like Casey G.'s mom did. I would get so mad when she couldn't come eat lunch with me on parents' day like the other kids' parents could. As a child, I didn't understand *why* my mom couldn't be there, I just knew she wasn't...and it hurt.

We'll see in about 25 years what my DD thinks of SAHMs vs. WOHMs. I think that I'm doing the best thing for our family, but will she think I was too overbearing and in her face all the time? Time will tell.

Most of the time, I thought my mom was Superwoman. But most of the time, I think I am, too.
 

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Being a SAHM is not like a passing trend. It's not like grunge, or shoulder pads which are so "over." Obviously it's NOT over when there are so many women happily doing it. What the hell is she talking about? There are a lot of combinations of working and SAHMing that work for different families, but most families have to struggle with the choice. She doesn't and never has. I love Uma, but she is not dealing with reality on this one.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by vermonttaylors
Being a SAHM is not like a passing trend. It's not like grunge, or shoulder pads which are so "over."
You know, that is so true. I recently heard that being a SAHM is the largest occupational category for women. We are not invisible! We are not "over", especially when there still are so many barriers in place for mothers trying to balance work and family life.

Sorry, no millionaire is going to tell me the way it is.
:
 
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