[timneh_mom]

I am just wondering something, and really just looking to be educated... I hope this doesn't come off sounding snarkey or judgemental!! For those of you wanting to do U/C, what makes you prefer that option over having someone trained to help be there? I personally can't imagine giving birth without a midwife or doctor, so that's just me... I'm just curious, really! Not passing judgement at all. I'm just wondering!

 

[umami_mommy]

humans are animals and animals give birth best when unhindered by interventions and interference. this is hormonal and not something that humans can escape.

some human animals feel safest giving birth with the least amount of human company possible. some women feel birth should be as intimate as the act that first brought about the pregnancy. and some women feel this is what is right for religious reasons.

some women believe that UC is the most "evolved" and "enlightened" way to birth, i personally don't ascribe to this belief. i believe that the most enlightened birth is one were the mama has throughly researched all her options to the best of her ability, educated herself completely on what is *really* best for her baby (evidenced based medicine versus convenience based or CYA OB medicine), and made a well thought out decision on where to birth, based on this information and her individual situation, rather than simply on popular beliefs about birth or just plain fear. the bottom line in women are taught to believe that birth is a scary, dangerous process in which a woman needs help in order to do what millions of years of evolution have designed her to do naturally, with little help. no doctor "delivers" a baby. a woman births her babe. for some women support is good, for some, they want to be left alone as much as possible.

personally, i want a hands off midwife at my birth, (my dh is not the person i want primarily supporting me during labor) but i know many women who have had UCs (and UCBACs) and wholeheartedly support their decisions to birth like this. i believe a woman births best when allowed to trust and know herself, her own heart and her body.

(and just cause i know this question will come up, most of the things that frighten people most abaout birth are created by the interventions that doctors and hospitals so commonly perform)

HTH!

 

[lanielayne]

To put it simply, I feel it is more dangerous to have a "caregiver" than it is to birth unassisted. I have had a hospital birth, mw attended hb, and an UC. I don't need any of the routine tests docs provide or anyone doing monthly checkups. I am the one responsible for my preganacy and birth. I don't rely on someone else to tell me how I am doing. That said, if I felt like I needed a doc or a hospital I would use one. That would most likely only be an emergency situation but that is what I feel they should be used for!

 

[arlecchina]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lanielayne To put it simply, I feel it is more dangerous to have a "caregiver" than it is to birth unassisted. I have had a hospital birth, mw attended hb, and an UC. I don't need any of the routine tests docs provide or anyone doing monthly checkups. I am the one responsible for my preganacy and birth. I don't rely on someone else to tell me how I am doing. That said, if I felt like I needed a doc or a hospital I would use one. That would most likely only be an emergency situation but that is what I feel they should be used for!

pretty much that^^ this is my body, it knows how to do this, it is the biological function for which I was made. I dont go running for med care when I shit, I know how to do that. I dont have to run to the doctor to have sex to make sure I did that right, I knew how to do that too. this body will labour and give birth very little input whatsoever from anyone. I dont need to argue with medical "professionals" about what kind of care I need, how to grow a baby, how to imply I am abusive for not getting glucose tests, or even worse, when they want to induce me and when I can or cannot push.

I had a very bad experience first preg. I have never forgotten it and I will never forgive the verbal abuse and violation I endured at the hands of the "pros". I intended to birth at home/midwife (because I will NOT go to a hospital excepting a severe emergency) before I starting googling and found the freebirth site. so, yeah. I dont need assistance to do this. to succumb to the facts that "everybody knows" (ie, OMG WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...as if something never happens in a medical setting?) is pure folly. don't get me wrong: anyone who LIKES that medical...stuff, I am not critisizing. some women just cant feel comfortable letting go of the belief that a dr is needed to produce a baby. changes nothing for me personally, though.

 

[mamaglee]

With my first, I ended up transferring to the hospital. Guess why? "Failure to progress." That birth was a planned homebirth with a midwife, my husband and my mom. I think our midwife just got bored, actually. After a lot of hours (20 maybe of hard labor), she said how far do you think you're dilated? I said, "Three or four." She said, "You seem to be acting like you're at about a nine." She checked me. Guess what? Three. Then she says, "I just think you're going to be too tired to do it." So my Mom starts getting all scared, then my husband gets on board. Then, there I am. I was in lots of pain and didn't do a good job of standing up for myself.

When we got to the hospital, my midwife got into it with the hospital staff, my husband went to sleep, and my mom went home. So there I was in a hospital, where I didn't want to be, and I really felt all alone. After 34 (total) hours and three hours of purple pushing, I had a beautiful baby girl. I rejoiced in my daughter and loved being a mother. But, I mourned that birth for a long time. I felt violated on a lot of levels.

Fast forward to Eva's birth... I knew I could have a baby. I knew I didn't want someone there to make me second guess my own intuition or project their fears onto my birth. Her birth was lovely. I felt so empowered and happy and grateful afterward.

For me, having a midwife removes the feeling of self awareness and personal power and gives it to someone else. I don't want to give that to someone else.

Also, I can be exactly who I want to be with out feeling inhibited in the least if I labor on my own.

 

[timneh_mom]

Thanks everyone for helping me understand!! I am so sorry to hear about your stories and the grief you felt... thank you for being so open with me!

 

[umami_mommy]

i just wanted to say i know several women who birthed unassisted the first time.

it's not just women who have had bad experiences. also, it's sometimes a choice between UC and a hosp. brth and some women choose to go unassited rather than birth in a hospital or have a repeat section. so sometimes UC comes about as a result of a lack of good homebirth midwives.

 

[7kiddosmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybeedreams i just wanted to say i know several women who birthed unassisted the first time. it's not just women who have had bad experiences. also, it's sometimes a choice between UC and a hosp. brth and some women choose to go unassited rather than birth in a hospital or have a repeat section. so sometimes UC comes about as a result of a lack of good homebirth midwives.

Lack of a good mw was a huge reason for our UC (our 6th baby). In fact we moved back to where my terrific mw is when I was pg w/ our 7th and she attended that birth. We are still here and I am seeing her again for this birth.

Another reason for our UC was financial. I wanted a hb, but dh was hurt at work and our insurance ran out. We were broke and I could not find a mw willing to work out payments with us. I did NOT want a hospital birth so the only reasonable option was UC.

Our UC was amazing and while I am happy that I had a mw with my last birth and with this one I am also slightly dissappointed that we won't experience that feeling we had with our UC.

I am having some health issues, GD, with this pregnancy and with the last so i don't feel comfortable with UC. My last birth was a very bad should dystocia, the worst my mw has ever seen. So needless to say I am concerned this time and a little fearful

 

[DreamsInDigital]

I've never been satisfied with care from an OB or midwife. I've had a CNM and a CPM. My CPM was by far the best but she still did some things to interfere with my birth that really upset me. I am choosing UC so that my birth is mine and mine alone.

 

[umami_mommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7kiddosmom My last birth was a very bad should dystocia, the worst my mw has ever seen. So needless to say I am concerned this time and a little fearful

SD rarely repeats. personally, i think you have less to worry about with that then those of us who have not had it. positioning is really important to prevent SD (as much as it can be prevented). have you read the spinningbabies.com site?

 

[7kiddosmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybeedreams SD rarely repeats. personally, i think you have less to worry about with that then those of us who have not had it. positioning is really important to prevent SD (as much as it can be prevented). have you read the spinningbabies.com site?

My UC was a should dystocia too, though I think had some one w/ more experience than dh had been there, they could have had my ds out alot faster than the 8 mins it took us. Both were due to big babies caused by GD. My UC was 13 lbs and my last baby was 10 lbs 2 ozs.

With both labors the only position that was comfortable was standing leaning slightly forward up against the door frame. We tried laboring on the birthstool, on hands and knees, side lying, everything we could think of and nothing ever "felt" right. I am worried that if I have the same type of labor this time around that fear may hinder everything. I am on an emotional rollercoaster this time around that is for sure.

Oh and yes I have read spinningbabies.com it is a GREAT site! My mw is very particular when it comes position.

Kasey

 

[umami_mommy]

yikes! i'm glad you are getitng treated for GD.

it's good to have an experienced midwife there for SD, no doubt about that.