Hello, I am often a lurker in this forum, and am looking for some ideas for how to handle some safety issues with my 2.5 yo DS. I discovered Unconditional Parenting on this forum, and DP and I are really embracing it whole-heartedly. It just feels right to us.
That being said... I do not know how to handle some of the normal safety issues that are coming up with DS in an UP kind of way. For example:
1) Walking outside our yard onto the sidewalk then darting into the street. This happened last night. I asked him to come inside the yard, and then when he wouldn't, walked out after him. This is when he darted into our rather busy residential street, and I chased him all the way across just to keep him safe. I then ended up dragging him back across the street to our yard, after which he did the exact same thing again the minute I let go of him. Finally, DP followed him and took him on a walk around the block, letting him walk on the sidewalk next to him without holding onto him. Which was great, and would work fine if DP was always at home, but when he is at work I have both DS and 14 week old DD to take care of.
2)Speaking of DD, my DS has also started to manhandle her in a way that freaks me out, and leads me to think I can't leave them alone in the same room for even a few seconds. Most of it seems motivated by wanting to love on her or play with her, but every once in a while it turns darker. The most annoying thing to me is that he will walk up with I'm nursing DD and lift her head up away from the breast, which hurts me and causes her to cry, of course. I try talking to him about it, asking what he needs from me (because obviously he needs something) but he just continues to push on her, and sometimes escalates to a slap on her head if I'm trying to keep him from touching her.
These are the two more immediate examples. I'd love any suggestions about how you've handled similar situations using UP. Love Alfie Kohn, but my behaviorist training as a childcare worker comes tearing out every time one of my children's safety is an issue. UP hasn't really helped me there, and I want a way to incorporate it into all my interactions with my kids.
Thanks!
That being said... I do not know how to handle some of the normal safety issues that are coming up with DS in an UP kind of way. For example:
1) Walking outside our yard onto the sidewalk then darting into the street. This happened last night. I asked him to come inside the yard, and then when he wouldn't, walked out after him. This is when he darted into our rather busy residential street, and I chased him all the way across just to keep him safe. I then ended up dragging him back across the street to our yard, after which he did the exact same thing again the minute I let go of him. Finally, DP followed him and took him on a walk around the block, letting him walk on the sidewalk next to him without holding onto him. Which was great, and would work fine if DP was always at home, but when he is at work I have both DS and 14 week old DD to take care of.
2)Speaking of DD, my DS has also started to manhandle her in a way that freaks me out, and leads me to think I can't leave them alone in the same room for even a few seconds. Most of it seems motivated by wanting to love on her or play with her, but every once in a while it turns darker. The most annoying thing to me is that he will walk up with I'm nursing DD and lift her head up away from the breast, which hurts me and causes her to cry, of course. I try talking to him about it, asking what he needs from me (because obviously he needs something) but he just continues to push on her, and sometimes escalates to a slap on her head if I'm trying to keep him from touching her.
These are the two more immediate examples. I'd love any suggestions about how you've handled similar situations using UP. Love Alfie Kohn, but my behaviorist training as a childcare worker comes tearing out every time one of my children's safety is an issue. UP hasn't really helped me there, and I want a way to incorporate it into all my interactions with my kids.
Thanks!