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At ECFE (Early Childhood Family Enrichment--an educational parent/child group for those unfamiliar) today, we discussed language development and got handouts to take home and read. One of the sheets has a chart that says what babies and toddlers should do by certain ages. For nine months it says they should "understand the word no", and when I thought about it I realized I've seen that in other places too.<br><br>
The thing is, I don't know whether my dd understands the word no, because I don't use it! Why do they use that as a gauge of what a child is capable of understanding? My dd at that age understood a lot of words (book, ball, daddy, I could go on...) but "no" is not one of them because I do my best to prevent her from hearing it constantly. Do they just say that because so many babies hear it all the time and it's the easiest reference point? That's so sad. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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i was the same way as you smittenmom, and i'm pleased to announce that Aidan did not know what "no" meant until...a month or two ago maybe?? he just started using it too (he's 20 months).<br><br>
it reminds me of when we went to the ped for one of those well-child visits and the RN asked, "can he hold his bottle yet", i looked at her and said, "i have no idea". she paused and was TOTALLY confused. i explained that we are breastfeeding, which led to the, "oh, so when you give him bottles, can he hold them" (as if i was dense and missed the first question <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: ) i said, "no, he is exclusively breastfed, he has never had a bottle". she didn't know how to document that in the chart <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">:<br><br>
very bizarre<br>
amy
 

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For the same moronic reason one developmental test the child needs to put the bottle to the baby to "feed it". All my kids got their scores reduced because they tried to nurse it. LOL<br><br>
My 3child got reduced scores because she will only use her first and middle name.
 

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I ran into this recently too. In What to Expect the First Year, the authors state that at 11 months old, dd should know what no means. I don't say it either. But sometimes her sister or father will say something like no you can't play with that when all they need to do is redirect her without ever saying no. Grrr.<br><br>
But...dd has been shaking her head and saying na, na, na, na. I'm thinking that this is her way of saying no but am not sure. i also don't know where she got it from. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">:
 

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Katelyan, I don't think she's necessarily saying "no", she's probably just practicing sounds. Eli says "na na na" all the time, and he didn't hear the word no until he started teething. ("NO BITING MAMA!") When asked if he understood the word "no" I said yes, because he does understand if I ask him to stop doing something. The only time I use "no" is in sentences (and even then, it's mostly "NO BITING!" when he's nursing). I don't just yell "NO!" all the time, the way many parents do. I have been known to tell him to "get out from under there" or "touch gently" or even "Eli! Cease and desist!" On rare occasions, I will tell him to "stop!" I don't want my kid to be one of those toddlers who runs around screaming "no no no!" all the time, so I don't model that behavior for him. I think it's rude to make parents think that it's necessary.<br><br>
On the flip side, a friend of a friend used to slap her daughter every time she said "no", because she didn't want her daughter to ever say it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!">. I was horrified by this. My mom yelled at our friend, saying "What's she going to say when her teacher asks her if she has a paper? What's she going to say when her friends offer her drugs? What's she going to say when a boy pressures her to have sex and she doesn't want to?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!">! So some people take the lack of "no" too far.<br><br>
I think that even if you're working very hard, and teaching other people, not to instantly holler "no no!" at a baby, you'll still probably use the word "no" a fair bit and your child will understand it and be familiar with it by the time they're talking so that most people can understand. There's a big difference between "no thank you" and "no hitting", but the word is still there and kids will learn it and understand it. If you don't use it constantly, niether will they.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/oops.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="oops">T Marsupialmom, I totally would have thrown a fit if someone tried to dock my kid points on a developmental screening for feeding a baby the way they're meant to be fed. :LOL
 

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So funny that this was brought up, I was just talking to my neighbor about this yesterday. Our babies are both 8 mos. old, 2 days apart. She asked me, "when you tell your baby no, does she stop doing what she's not suppose to?". I said that we dont use the word "no" unless she's doing something that's dangerous. I usually just try to move and redirect her attention. She said, "well, that doesnt work". And I said, "Of course it doesnt, theyre babies, you just have to keep doing it". And she said, "So you dont spank her if she doesnt stop?"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><br>
I thought I was going to have a heartattack!!
 
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