[bits and bobs]

Kids go to a great activity, all very engaging and fun but DS is mopey, tired, whines about everything. Ok I get he was tired and it was probably bad timiing for him but he ended up enjoying it BUT it was making me crazy with the moaning.

Do you post-event talk about the moaning/ungratefulness of his behaviour or let it slide?

 

[zeldamomma]

I'd try to pull him aside during the event to talk about the whining. Afterwards is too late, IMO. I think it's unreasonable to expect a 7 year old to really be grateful for an activity mom chose. If it was something he asked to do, and then he was grumpy the whole time, we would definitely have a conversation afterwards about how we may not be rushing to do the next thing he asks to do because his behavior was poor.

I'd give him the option of either sitting out of the activity or cheering up, if just bagging it and going home wasn't feasible, or the rest of the family was enjoying the event. Sometimes we do things that one of my kids doesn't really enjoy, and while I respect their right to an opinion of the event, it's not ok for them to ruin it for the rest of us by constantly complaining. I am working on teaching my kids about not making their bad mood everyone else's problem.

ZM

 

[BunniMummi]

Yeah, I would to my son during and/or right afterwards most likely. It's ok to not be thrilled about everything but it's not ok to drag on other people's day because of it. Much like dinner time, it's ok to not like everything but it's not ok to sit there and pretend to gag every time you see it ykwim?

Zeldamomma was right about not being grateful for things other people have chosen though. I wouldn't make a big deal about the ungrateful part unless it was something that was being done because he asked for it. I know I've been to plenty of things that I ended up having a good time at but was really annoyed about having to go do, and I mean as an adult.

 

[meemee]

i am a single mom so there are many times i have to drag my dd to where she doesnt want to go. we first recognise that she really isnt interested in it. then we keep talking, esp in the car to see at least one thing she might find interesting. and so kinda keeps the moaning and groaning out of it.

i think for my dd it makes sense that she gets to say whether she is interested or not.

with stuff she wants to do and then changes her mind, i dont go if she moans aobut not wanting to go.

mainly though she is a cheerful child and has figured out how to find one thing fun about doing it and so focus on that till we actaully get there and do it.

 

[Magella]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bits and bobs Kids go to a great activity, all very engaging and fun but DS is mopey, tired, whines about everything. Ok I get he was tired and it was probably bad timiing for him but he ended up enjoying it BUT it was making me crazy with the moaning. Do you post-event talk about the moaning/ungratefulness of his behaviour or let it slide?

I wouldn't talk about ungratefulness. He was tired. It was bad timing for him. Being tired is not being ungrateful. It's being tired.

I get that it's frustrating for you (btdt, frustrating for me too). But it was frustrating for him too. How about empathizing with him? (I find that when my kids feel heard, they're less likely to keep moaning about things.) Just letting him know you understand, and suggesting that you and he make the best of being there since you're already there? Just doing the best you all can to have a decent time, in spite of the fact that he's tired and mopey (which is what ended up happening anyway, it sounds like)? He's not doing anything wrong by being tired and not enjoying the activity.

Depending on the language and tone used in the process of moaning, I might later on speak with him about being rude (you can be tired and still not be rude)--but not about being ungrateful.

 

[One_Girl]

It may be that he isn't fond of the crowds. If that is the case I think you should try to avoid places with a lot of people in them. If it was a one time thing I would let it go, but the next time it happened I think you should give him a snack and then when he is for sure not reacting from hunger ask him if he is having a good time then tell him that he was whining a lot and that if you hear more whining that will tell you that he is not having fun and you don't want him to have to stay and not have fun. When kids are engaged and having fun they tend to look engaged and happy.