[sesa70]

Dd has a friend who's mother is very controlling about food. Every single thing this child puts into her mouth is monitored and approved or not, down to the last cheerio. Lots of times other kids will be eating and this child will not be allowed to, or will be only allowed a bite of food. Mom will often say no more, or you have had enough, or you cant be hungry you just ate, etc.

Mom says that the child likes to eat alot and this is the reason for monitoring food so closely. This child is a good weight and has no food allergies (as far as I know).

I know we are all different, and we parent differently as well, but I cant help but feel she is setting up her daughter for an unhealthy relationship with food. Our parenting styles vary greatly but she is a devoted mother and clearly loves her child and is doing what she thinks is best.

Should I say soemthing to her? Or just butt out because its none of my buisness?

 

[alegna]

If this was someone close to you (a sister or close friend) then I'd say something. Mom of one of dd's friends? Probably no way to say something.

-Angela

 

[CherryBomb]

I agree with alegna. If I didn't know them very well, I wouldn't say anything. You don't really know exactly what's going on and I don't see how you could bring it up without seeming really rude and intrusive, you know?

 

[sesa70]

Thanks... I dont want to be rude and I know its not my buisness. I hate to be one of those Im better than you moms, kwim? I will just keep my mouth shut then

 

[dawncayden]

I've found there are ways to bring stuff up without being confrontational. If your at a playgroup with a few mama's and that mama is there, maybe you can talk about children knowing their own food intake naturally or mention a great book on the subject (and let her overhear you) Either she will listen and not show that she's listening or she will get defensive about her decision and talk about it with you or she might just be totally misinformed about how children eat. She might have been an overweight child herself and doesn't want her daughter to go down the same road.

But I also wanted to add that if ds was eating cheerios, I would probably say no more after a couple. I don't want him to go overboard with processed foods. But if he was eating something healthy like veggies or fruit then there is no way I'd stop him.

I would never say 'oh you can't be hungry...'

Dawn

 

[SweetPotato]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawncayden I've found there are ways to bring stuff up without being confrontational. If your at a playgroup with a few mama's and that mama is there, maybe you can talk about children knowing their own food intake naturally or mention a great book on the subject (and let her overhear you)

This is exactly what I was going to say! I often bring things up in the context of my own parenting- like "gosh- I was just reading this book, and I was so surprised to learn that (insert issue here) can have such effects on our kiddos-- I'm going to have to start being more careful!" People are way more ready to listen and help you critique your own parenting than they are receptive to hearing criticism of their own (obviously!)- so I think that framing it this way puts you in the opposite of an "I'm the best mom" attitude, and it gets the real issue out there in a way that people might think about how it applies to themselves.

 

[Severine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawncayden But I also wanted to add that if ds was eating cheerios, I would probably say no more after a couple. I don't want him to go overboard with processed foods. But if he was eating something healthy like veggies or fruit then there is no way I'd stop him. I would never say 'oh you can't be hungry...'

It's a difficult topic to discuss because you don't know the mother's motives for what she's doing. Like the poster I quoted, I, too, do my best to have DD avoid processed foods. If she were in a situation where others were consuming my definition of junk, I would be closely monitoring her. On the other hand, if she were eating fruits or veggies or something of that nature, I trust her to gauge when she has had enough.

 

[JennySmith]

Perhaps the Mama doesn't want her daughter to eat other kid's food? Maybe she knows that she will eat it all and doesn't have a problem with the amount but the fact that the snack was intended for the other child?

I have a big eater. People are always shocked at how much my little girl eats (b/c she looks so tiny).

I guess, I'm not hearing the tone in which this Mama is speaking though. I wouldn't say anything though. Different Strokes for different folks.

 

[sesa70]

well, the mama is restricting with the snacks she brings as well as the snacks others have, even in one mom brings snacks for all kids, kiwm? She also eats in front of her then wont share.

But you guys are right... I dont know what else is going on, so maybe I should stop judging