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We have never had any answers as to WHY we lost our son at 36 weeks. We did not have an autopsy because I couldn't bear the thought of it, but now I kind of wish we did so I could be put at ease for the future. I have had every medical test known to humankind- colonoscopy, celiac sprue tests, genetic testing.... everything has been negative. I have trouble accepting that sometimes "things just happen"... Doran's birth weight was only 3 lbs 1.5 oz and there was very little amniotic fluid.

Anyone else dealing with this?
 

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I cannot imagine the pain of losing a baby that close to when you are due to hold your little one in your arms. I have had many early losses but it can't compare to the loss of a baby so close to term. I am just so sorry.

I wanted to mention to you to have a hemotologist test you for a variety of genetic clotting disorders. I have Protein S deficiency but there are several others that can cause late term losses, so ask to have an entire panel done.

The problem with genetic clotting disorders (not to be confused with immune disorders like ANA or NK cells which are more often responsible for early losses), is that there is actually more risk of loss LATER in pregnancy. Women with these conditions have a very slow blood flow through the placenta, and ultimately to the baby, which can retard the baby's growth. Late term losses can result because this slow moving blood can clot within the placenta, or cause placental abruptions (I had an abuption with my last baby's birth before I was diagnosed).

Once you get a diagnosis, you can take Heparin or Lovenox to help thin the blood during your next pregnancy. You may also be prescribed to take baby aspirin daily to help you when you are trying to conceive (this is most helpful for women with immune issues and some women have both genetic clotting disorders along with an immune response issue, so taking baby aspirin can't hurt).

Many, many blessings to you. My heart aches for you...all the best, C
 

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I had a unknown cause of stillbirth. My baby girl was 38 weeks along, she weighed 7 1/2lbs and was 19 3/4 inchs. We named her Jessica Ann. It has been a year and a month, but it still hurts just as much as the day we found out she had died. We did not have any autopsy done, nor any other testing afterwards. But if it helps you at all with not finding anything, my sister had a midwife that told her she's know several parents who after the lost their baby did autopsy's and all the other testings, did not find any reason as to why their baby suddenly died in the womb. All it did for those parents is prolong the funeral arrangements and the first part of grieving. Its an awful thing to go through. My story is that my sister-in-law had a little one month later, so I have to watch this little (she's a precious little thing, weighed on 4, 2 oz at birth) baby grow up without mine there to play with her. We live in the same town. And now to top that off, my sister just had a little girl a week ago, and I am pregnant again, but its a boy. So I understand what you are going through. It is hard. If you want to chat e-mail me or I'll check this forum again. So sorry that it had to happen to you too.
 

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Hi mama,

First off I wanted to say sorry for the loss of your son. It has been almost a year since I lost my son at 26 1/2 weeks. I had no idea why he died, I delivered him 3 weeks after he died, and doctor didn't tell me about autopsies or anything. I had blood work done, but unfortunately the hospital had lost it.

I decided to get pregnant again quickly. I got pregnant again the next month after I delivered, and I just recently gave birth to my little girl.

While the cause of Jase's death was unknown at first, I had complications with Arianna. Due to previous pre-e with Hellp, I was sent to labor and delivery to have blood pressure checked more often. During a NST, the noticed my fluid was low. It continued to drop until I was hospitalized with a level of 4.5. Baby had a few decels while there. After 3 days I was sent home and ordered to drink A LOT more, and eventually put on strict bedrest. I did but it didn't help. I continued to go to my NST's where they said my fluid levels were fine, but when I went in for a repeat formal u/s, my fluid was 3 (where at my NST the day prior it was 10 but it took almost an hour for baby to have a reactive strip...) and baby was having decels, so I decided to get rid of my hopes for having a VBAC and instead let them give me another c-sec.

My son had died due to low fluids. The levels must have been so low that he compressed his cord cutting down circulation and oxygen to him. (This is most likely a cause why your son was small also...My son was 1 pound 1 ounce and doctors said he was only 22 weeks even though I know the day I got pregnant and the day that he died...) My daughter almost and could have also possibly died to low fluids because the nurse wasn't measuring correctly, while I was thinking I was doing fine. I wish they would have found out about my fluid levels before he died. I miss him so much... But I wouldn't have Arianna here if Jase hadn't died. I just wish I could have had both with me instead of just my daughter, and of course my eldest son.

Next time make sure they keep track of your fluid levels and ask for formal ultrasounds to make sure the levels are correct. Nurse continued to add in a quadrant that was full of cord, which made the level way higher than it actually was. A regular u/s will not detect the cord, you will need the one that is color and shows the fluids moving through the cord.

Again, I am so sorry about Doran,
Mary
 

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maisiedotes,
dealing with the unknown cause of a stillbirth is so complicated, especially when you are grieving. having met many moms who have lost their babies near/full/post term, all with different circumstances, it seems that knowing why does not make it any easier, because even when you are given a reason, you are still left with the question 'well, why did this happen to our baby?'. we don't know why our daughter died, but i have leaned towards reasons just because it is natural to want to understand why your child died. i can't recall the exact statistic, but SO many parents are given the 'unknown' cause, and are supposed to accept it, but that is almost impossible. i know i will always wonder, always search, always keep an opening in my heart for a reason why she died. it makes it especially hard to consider conceiving again- the fear of repeating that pain, well, i don't know if i could get through losing another baby. i had many tests done- i found out about losses due to clotting disorders here at mdc and had my blood tested for them and they all came back negative. i almost hoped they came back positive so i could deal with whatever might be wrong with me. we also did not have an autopsy preformed, and while i wish we had the information it may have provided, i don't regret our decision not to. we were told that most times the autopsy shows nothing for a reason anyway, but there will always be that lingering doubt that we should have found out. i know in my heart that either way, losing a baby is just ridiculously hard, and it takes such strength to move through life without them in your arms.

i hope that there will come a day that i, we, will wake up and there will be some peace and true acceptance about their loss. until then, i feel like i am only living, displaced in the memories of how it was before she was gone.

doran is a beautiful name. i am so sorry...
 

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I am so sorry that we all have to be on this board. It is just so wrong on so many levels. No mama should have this pain.

I too have no reason as to why my baby was chosen for stillbirth. I had the perfect pregnancy. It was so wonderful. I had some spotting in the middle but that was it. Then I woke up, past my edd & she was gone. Just like that. So not fair. She looked perfect (I have pictures linked in my signature.)

It is hard not knowing why. My mantra is: it just is. There is nothing that can be done, it just is. I have learned we have no control over life or death, as much as we want it. It is not fair, not kind. It hurts like hell. It just is. It is something we learn to live with every day. We wake up & remember to breathe.

I am so sorry we all know this. If I could change it I would it a second. It is so not fair, it just is. (sorry for the rambling.)
 

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I know why my son died... but I just wanted to put in that his condition, bilateral renal agenesis (no kidneys) causes low fluid, low birth weight and compression on the internal organs... which inevedibly is what killed him after he was born. Low fluid like that indicates a problem with the kidneys, and unless you have a clear family history of deformities of the kidney it was probably something completely random.
 

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Dear Maisedotes,
I am so so sorry for your incredible loss. There are no words, but I just wanted to let you know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and hope are are surrounded by lots of love and deep nurturance. Your baby girl was beautiful and pure. Thank you for sharing the photos.

I will send special thoughts to all of you on here you experienced such late loss. I can only imagine, and feel incredibly sad for you, and wish you much comfort. Michelle
 

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I can't bear the thought that we DID have an autopsy, because it offered us no results anyway. I hate to think of it...

I think that you already have your answer of very little amniotic fluid, which although less than 100% absolute, is certainly an abnormality. I lost my baby at 33 weeks, and the only abnormality was a "short cord", but he had seen babies be born with short cords before healthy.

I am pregnant again and getting 2 NST's per week as well as 1 US per week to measure amniotic fluid. This is all that can be done for me, according to my dr. and nurses, but I must say, it is reassuring to hear that little heart beat twice per week. Always sad to think of my baby Maris though...
 

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I wasn't as far along as you were when I lost our babies. We've been through 5 m/c in the last 2 1/2 years. Two at 6 weeks, 16 weeks, 18 weeks, and 20 weeks. My doctor has no idea why we lost the babies. We had two healthy boys before these losses and we know for a fact that two of our losses were boys. It's so hard not knowing. We've gone through some testing (we did not do autopsies) and waiting to hear from a specialist on what to do next. I'm so scared to get pregnant again but I want another baby so badly.

I know it's hard, just know that you aren't alone and you will find alot of support here. Take care.
 
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