Well, I don't like to force
my dd to do anything either, but there is a very srong EXPECTATION, and a simple family rule: we all do our part.
I'm not making dd do chores
, but just now, she wanted to watch a show on dvd. I said, "okay...how about the plan be that you watch the show, then we'll tidy up, and then we'll head to the library. Sound good?" "okay." And history has shown that she'll help tidy up before we go. Of course I'll do more, but she'll do her part.
I don't have very high expectations for cleanliness, but I do have some standards. If a certain toy has been on the living room floor for 3 days straight, I'll say, "since you're not playing with them now, I'd rather you take your star wars toys back to your room please. I'd like to get the living room all tidy." Now, sometimes, her response to that is, "But I'm still playing!" and then she'll rush over to it, and play. Fine, if she's actively playing with a toy, I don't care if she's playing with it in the living room. I just don't want it sitting there for the heck of it.
Sometimes, when I'm cleaning the kitchen, and ask her to come in and help me, it turns out that she just hangs out in there with me, and chats. That doesn't really bother me. She's still kind of participating in a way. She's at least seeing the cleaning in action. She can see it happen, to appreciate that someone is doing the work
. It's not just magically clean again after she's been playing in her room.
But just being a part of the family, we all need to do our part to help our home-life run smoothly. Unschooling doesn't mean NO responsiblities, imo. I mean, I, as an adult, unschool. I learn what I want, when I want to, for how long. I, as an adult, don't hold myself to a rigorous cleaning schedule either. If I'm not in the mood to do the dishes right
after dinner, I don't. If the tub doesn't get scrubbed exactly one week later than it was last scrubbed, big deal. BUT, if we want clean dishes, they do have to be washed at some point. If we want to take a bath, we really shouldn't do it with a nasty ring around the tub.
So we're all held to the same expectations in our house. No, if you're really into that game of pretend, you don't have to tidy your room now
. BUT, honestly, last night when I came into your room when you woke up in the middle of the night, I stepped on the some legos, and that really hurt my foot. They need to be picked up before you go to bed tonight. Having legos comes with the responsiblity of making sure that other doesn't get them embedded in her feet in the dark