For years we were very unstructured and capricious. It seemed to work well. I'd read about other families where the parents would say "he seems to thrive with structure" and after I got past my skepticism about whether the structure was serving the child or the parent's need for order and compliance, I'd think "interesting -- how would I know if that were the case for my kids?"<br><br>
My kids have always been basically happy, but they do tend to get "locked into" activities. They have a hard time leaving something they're involved in and will often spend whole days or weeks focusing on just one or two things. Which is great, except that increasingly they were discarding or becoming frustrated with things that, for them, didn't really take root well with an intermittent full-on focus. Things like arithmetical skills, musical instrument skills, physical fitness, gardening, dog-training and such.<br><br>
In the past year we've evolved (collaboratively -- child-led and parent-facilitated) a rhythm to our days. Besides our structured out-of-home activities like music practices, lessons and sports practices, this rhythm all falls into the evening. The kids practice their instruments right after supper. Then they do whatever they'd like, although I'm available for assistance with project work, cooking, sewing, hands-on science, whatever. At 10 pm I call the younger three for math. Wonder of wonders, they enjoy doing it and half the time they come eagerly. Sometimes they whine about the transition from whatever they're doing -- but they've made it clear at family meetings that they want me to over-rule their temporary complaints. And so we do math together for 20 minutes, and then read some historical fiction, biography or science for half an hour, and then we have an open-ended discussion about our day and whatever is on our minds. Then bed.<br><br>
My eldest doesn't want this kind of collaborative structure. She doesn't do a very good job of organizing her own days and often ends up regretting that she has avoided doing things she thinks she should have done, instead staying locked into something else. That's fine. She's getting plenty of opportunity to discover what doesn't work, and I'm here to assist with creating structure if she eventually decides she wants it.<br><br>
So different kids -- different amounts of structure. It's all unschooling to me, 'cause they've chosen it.<br><br>
Miranda