Unsupportive Families...

423 Views 9 Replies 5 Participants Last post by chely7425, Feb 24, 2010

chely7425

Discussion Starter · Feb 24, 2010

So, we told our families that we are pregnant. I had no qualms about telling DH's family, they are awesome and supportive and pretty much just support our choices no matter what. My family on the other hand... my mother said she is not enthused and that I am ruining my life having kids "so" young (I am 24, 25 when this baby is born) and not having a career and staying home with our kids... they all felt the need to mention how much WORK it will be and why weren't we just happy with 2 so I could go back to work. Seriously... several problems with this. We have no plans for me to go back to work, DH being in the Army makes his work very unpredictable and we move so much and we both feel me being home is best and that is where I should be. This is our choice, but not a valid one in their opinions. Also, why do they care how much work it is?? We live across the country from them... they won't be around and it isn't like I ever just drop my kids off with them anyway. Anyone else in a position like this? How do I deal with it? I want to be able to celebrate this baby, we are happy and excited.

Save

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

scifimama

· #2 · Feb 24, 2010

i feel for you mama. you are doing what is best for your family so, good for you. forget 'em. and congrats!!

See less See more

Save

CherryBomb

· #3 · Feb 24, 2010

I empathize. Some of my mom's family has been pressuring me to get sterilized since I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. Sigh.

See less See more

Save

chely7425

Discussion Starter · #4 · Feb 24, 2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by scifimama

i feel for you mama. you are doing what is best for your family so, good for you. forget 'em. and congrats!!

Thanks

I just wish they could see that!! Everyone on my side have the family has a PhD or an MD or something of the sort and they ALL waited till at least 32 to have kids... I just wish they could see that we are happy and our kids are happy and taken care of albeit less extravagantly then they might do for their children.

See less See more

Save

chely7425

Discussion Starter · #5 · Feb 24, 2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by CherryBomb

I empathize. Some of my mom's family has been pressuring me to get sterilized since I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. Sigh.

Families are just... ugh.. sometimes!!

See less See more

Save

honeybee

· #6 · Feb 24, 2010

That's just crazy talk. It's so hard to let things go when it's our own parents saying hurtful things, though.

Save

Naomismom

· #7 · Feb 24, 2010

I started having kids young for my social circle (23) and was frustrated by people that were shocked. Now I am on my 3rd and I know my family will be a bit concerned. My DH works A LOT (!!!!!!!) and I am with the kids 24/7 and do basically 99% of the dishes, housework, laundry, cooking, errands, etc. While it's easy to get frustrated with them (my family), I also think I understand where they are coming from. I recently watched a friend of mine have two children super close together during a super stressful period of her life. It was hard to be excited for her through all the concern I had for her. Her life has calmed down and everything is great. Try your best to believe that they love you and just want you to be happy and have an easy life.

Save

chely7425

Discussion Starter · #8 · Feb 24, 2010

I wish I could believe that they are just worried... But they are just so negative and telling ne having kids is ruining my life just isn't cool. My husband is army so he is gone a ton but I deal just fine and we are financially stable though not rich... Just bla!! Like yeah it won't be easy but I have a feeling 3 kids never is.

Save

Naomismom

· #9 · Feb 24, 2010

I'm sorry. I didn't realize they actually were so rude. That really stinks.

We have not told family yet and I'm not looking forward to it. My family will pretend to be congratulatory but express concern in their heads while the in-laws will tell us we're crazy. Bleh.

See less See more

Save

chely7425

Discussion Starter · #10 · Feb 24, 2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomismom

I'm sorry. I didn't realize they actually were so rude. That really stinks.

We have not told family yet and I'm not looking forward to it. My family will pretend to be congratulatory but express concern in their heads while the in-laws will tell us we're crazy. Bleh.

Yeah.. they kind of suck. I wish we could have just, waited, to tell them or something but some of our friends knew and I had a feeling someone would say something on Facebook or something and then my family would find out from there and it would be a whole nother drama!!! I wish they would just, accept our choices. Or something. Unlikely since my mother sees being a SAHM akin to being in prison but whatever... makes me happy and we know it is what is best for us.

See less See more

Save

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.

Top Contributors this Month