Mothering Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,467 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
to my post "new here".<br><br>
It has been 1.5 weeks since I found out about the baby dying and nothing really has happened since then. I have spotted a little on and off but nothing more.... I should be 12.5 weeks pregnant now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
I ended up convincing myself that the sonogram was wrong <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> so I went on Tuesday to get another one. Unfortunately we got the same results, except this time I got to bring home a really nice picture that I will frame. I am thankful for that.<br><br>
My midwife (I was planning a homebirth) is suggesting that I take Black and Blue cohosh to get things moving, but I dont think Im ready for that yet. I still think my body can do things on its own, even if it takes awhile.<br><br>
I found out the other day that an acquaintance of mine is pregnant and due the same week that my baby wouldve been due. Im really really angry and upset about this, although logically I know that I will always run into other pregnant women and I cant have a breakdown every time I do. Luckily I have 2 wonderful friends that are really helping me get through this and have constantly reassured me that I am still acting semi-normal.<br><br>
I guess it will just take time.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
42,757 Posts
You are acting normal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
It is wonderful you have friends helping you through this. Let them know if you need anything. It is difficult watching someone you care about go through such a devastating loss and not know what exactly what to do or what they need. Keep them close.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,117 Posts
It is hard to know someone due so close to your edd. I had a friend due the same day as me....it was hard but I know she really wanted this baby...as much as I did...<br><br>
You are acting very normal. It has been less than 2 weeks. Give yourself time... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,378 Posts
I'm very sorry for your loss. When I miscarried in May, I found out 2 weeks later another mom at our playgroup is pregnant and her due date is 1 day after mine. I was devastated and took a 2 month break from the playgroup because I just can't handle it. I felt bad keeping dd from her friends, but it was just too much for me. What you're feeling is totally normal. Please take good care of yourself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
228 Posts
(((HUGS))) I am so sorry for your loss. As a woman who has had 8 losses I want to share a couple things with you.... My losses have on ocassion taken weeks from finding out the pregnancy was over. My last loss occured 2 months ago - I took the cohoshes & when I finally delivered i nearly bled to death. I had read the warnings about using them if you are prone to hemorrage, but did not heed them as i assumed it referred to women at term, not one in the second trimester or earlier. Please be careful<br><br>
I know how you feel, many times I wanted to believe it was a mistake.... I had even been sent to the hospital to verify & still I wanted to believe it was wrong..... and it seems everyone is due in Novemeber that crosses my path...<br><br>
(((HUGS))) mama.....itsso hard - but you will make it through!<br><br>
Blessings,<br>
Anne-Marie
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,748 Posts
sorry for your loss. When i was pregnant in March My sister was also pregnant as well as my sister in law My sister was due a few months before me. and my sister inlaw the same week. Thats was hard. Because it was a great thing and all of a sudden it wasnt when i lost mine and they still have theirs. I would get mad and angry and resentful when I would talk to them and they would be complaining. ( like Most mom to be do) But i had to step back and think about it for a few min. Most people just dont know what to say or do when a sudden loss like this has happened. Just know what you are going through and what you are feelign is quite normal. Also When i had my m/c We found out the baby just stopped growing at 5 weeks and I didnt m/c until I was almost 11 weeks. So sometimes it just takes time. I also let my body just do the work. I dont think I would do it any other way. Bless you
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
563 Posts
Oh, Mom2Baldie, I'm so sorry.<br><br>
"logically I know that I will always run into other pregnant women and I cant have a breakdown every time I do."<br><br>
Yes, you can. I give you permission! It's been almost 10 months since my baby's stillbirth, and I am just now able to see other babies without getting sick to my stomach. And when my nephew was born last week, at home (we were planning a homebirth with Kevin), I had a long and cleansing cry after I heard the news. When I miscarried at 10 weeks, it was a similar timeframe. It took a long, long time to feel more stable when I was around others who were pregnant or had babies. Especially those who were due when I was. It doesn't have to mean you begrudge their happiness, but sometimes it's just too intensely painful. And so often other people don't get that. Protect yourself as much as you need to. I wish I had stayed home and off the phone the first two months.<br><br>
There is a Yahoo group called homebirthbabyloss that you might be interested in. It's for moms planning homebirths who lost their babies.<br><br>
Much love to you,<br>
Katherine
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top