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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My sister is in labor right now. She got an epi (this is her 4th child; she's always had an epi). She went in with cx 5 minutes apart and got the epi right away. Her cx have slowed down. She's being given Pitocin.

I was so rooting for her to not have an epi . . .I tried giving her a few books on birth but she said she didn't have time. I told her to stay at home as long as possible. I told her that her body did most of the hard work (she was 4-5 cm) already.

Last time she had an epi her bladder almost ruptured . . .no catheter and no one reminded her to go to the bathroom.

I didn't say anything negative to my sis (what's done is done) but told DH and my mom. Both told me that it's none of my business. Ultimtately, they are right . . .I shouldn't worry about it. So, why do I care?
 

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I love the quote...When you know better you do better. You care bc she is your sister. My sil is going in for a plannen c next mon. Never really even considered vbac,
nothing I can do excepy support when she gives bf a good shot.
 

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did she end up with a baby, too?

i don't mean to be crass, but giving birth by cesarean is a birth of a baby nonetheless, and as much as i would not choose birth by cesarean for myself and would be disappointed if my own babe was born by cesarean, i make sure i don't place my evaluation and desire for a non-interventive birth experience on other women who perhaps don't feel as i do.

i'm sure it must be even more difficult to come to a certain peace about it since she is your sister and there is a natural closeness and desire for trust and only the best for your family. sending you peaceful thoughts...

and sending your sister healing thoughts and welcome to her littlest baby...

warmly,
claudia
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by TurboClaudia
did she end up with a baby, too?

i don't mean to be crass,
claudia
Are you sure? Did you read my other thread asking people who have gone through c-sections how I can support her? Give me some credit.
 

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You know what's great? When people love their sisters and want what's best for them. I love it that you feel like it's your business. I feel that way about my sister, too, even though we are totally not on the same wavelength about stuff.

Sorry that your sister had to have emergency surgery, and congratulations on the new baby in your family.
 

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actually, no, i didn't read your other thread. didn't know there was another thread. in between chasing my crawler, i will try to read through it.

warmly,
claudia

p.s. i was just curious about the baby and how s/he is doing...
 

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:

you said it better than i could have, captain optimism...

i read your other post and the mamas there shared some wonderful thoughts and had really good insights and suggestions.

peace and healing to your sister, her new baby, her family, and to you as you love her and support her healing...

~claudia
 

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Very few woman are passionate about birth. Society has placed a lot of negative connotations on the whole process.... most of us grow up with a vision of a woman lying helpless in hospital while the dr tells her what to do and delivers the baby. We are tought that birth is painful and that pain is unnecessary in a modern world - thank goodness for technology kind of thing. We see woman on TV shows and movies reeling in pain and swearing and looking rather angry while giving birth and this is the image that we are scared of. Who wants to go through that?!

For those of us who have reclaimed our power and realised that birth is not something to be scared of - consciously or subconsciously - we tend to want our sisters (biological and in the global sense of the word) to feel the same empowerment and passion. That is why we speak up and try and encourage them to trust their bodies and babies and nature. This is a very hard thing to do as a lot of learned ideas and perceptions of birth have to be dismantled and thats no easy thing to do.

Im not trying to make assumptions here, just stating my personal opinion.

Ours is a gentle revolution fought with passion and dedication - we know deep within us that birth belongs to the woman and that not all births require us to sacrifice our power. Carry on feeling like its your business.... keep sharing your knowledge and experience.... but remember that at the end of the day we have to stand as sisters and support each other no matter what. Support does not mean agree with or condone. In this case it means love and empathy.

Love and Light
Shireen
 

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How would they know the cord was short if the baby wasn't born yet?

And you care because the baby is an innocent creature who has no control over whether or not its mom takes drugs that are going to effect its body. It would be sadder if you didn't care.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaSarah
How would they know the cord was short if the baby wasn't born yet?

And you care because the baby is an innocent creature who has no control over whether or not its mom takes drugs that are going to effect its body. It would be sadder if you didn't care.

YEAH THAT!

iT IS HARD FOR ME NOT TO TELL EVERYONE i MEET TO run away FROM HOSPITAL BIRTH....

NOT MY BUSINESS......
 

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i think it's great you care about your sister! of course it's your business, if you're close enough to talk of any birth stuff, you're close enough to talk about all birth stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaSarah
How would they know the cord was short if the baby wasn't born yet?
i used to wonder that, too! then it happened to me. the sure sign in my case ws that i had been over 6cm for many hours, the baby hadn't yet dropped below -3 station, even with me walking, squatting, rocking, kneeling (hospital birth but i had 2 doulas and a pro-natural labor nurse) we figured it wasn't a position problem. i actually went into transition a few times! and right back out of it. i'd be at 8cm with surges every minute, then back down to 4cm and 60% effaced. the "best guess" was a short cord or a cord wrap that was causing the baby to bounce up an down but not continue her path. it was both, a very short cord and a double wrap!

for a mom with an epidural who isn't moving around, i don't think they can predict a short cord with certainty. from what my OB told me, anyway. she said she was VERY glad i went natural, so the decision was "easier" on both of us.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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For those of us who have reclaimed our power and realised that birth is not something to be scared of - consciously or subconsciously - we tend to want our sisters (biological and in the global sense of the word) to feel the same empowerment and passion.
Raven, this sums up so beautifully how I feel . . .I have always wished for my sister to have the empowering experiences that I have had. We have had such different obstacles, however. My labors have been extremely fast and easy, while she's dealt with an ill-positioned (stuck) baby, back labor, intense contractions for days, and now 2 with the cord around the neck, etc. I had hoped that since she dialated so well that this would be the "it" experience for her, maybe it would finally be easy, or at least peaceful.

Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. Thankfully, my sister and her DS are doing well-- he even nursed well today. However, it was a scary time. She dialated very quickly but the baby's HR would drop dangerously low with the contractions. Like mellybean's experience, he was not descending. The OB gave her some time to see if she would birth naturally (I know the OB . . .she has a low c-section rate) but things were too dangerous for the baby. The cord was short and wrapped around his neck. At a certain point, my sister was afraid he was going to die.

My husband says I shouldn't feel sorry for her, that c-sections are fine. I don't feel sorry for her-- I think pity is condescending. And, I do think c-sections are fine, are WONDERFUL in life-threatening situations. But, I know my sister is sad and even logistically worried about how to handle things . . .her 3rd child is only 15 months old. She is the first (out of my mom, her, and me) to have this experience

Thank you so much again . . .
 

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Because you have compassion. Because you love your sister and her unborn child. Because if something bad happend, you would feel guilty if you didn't try to help.
Don't be too hard on yourself. If you're nearby, I hope you can help her out. A c-section is no fun to recover from. It was hard on me the first time, and this time I hope to not have to go through one AND have to care for a newborn and a toddler.
Best of luck to her while she's healing. And you care because that's just the kind of person you are.
 

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Thanks for letting me know about the short cord. It really makes a lot of sense once you put it that way. I can see how you would know, or think that could be a problem.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizelenius
My husband says I shouldn't feel sorry for her, that c-sections are fine. I don't feel sorry for her-- I think pity is condescending. And, I do think c-sections are fine, are WONDERFUL in life-threatening situations. But, I know my sister is sad and even logistically worried about how to handle things . . .her 3rd child is only 15 months old. She is the first (out of my mom, her, and me) to have this experience
Your husband is wrong. C-sections are only fine if the mother is okay with them, and that can be hard to tell from outside.

My c-sections have both resulted in horrible depression, and my last one afflicted me with a case (mild) of post-traumatic stress disorder...insomnia, nightmares, and generalized anxiety/edginess (eg. I'll jump two feet in the air if dd drops a toy on the kitchen floor). I never had these problems, except insomnia sometimes, until my c-section. And, I don't think most people I know have ever realized how much the surgeries affected me. I came here in March, and have talked about these issues more here than I have in 12 years in real life.

Now, my SIL is the exact opposite. She was totally grateful for her c-section when it happened. She'd been hoping for one, as she was so terrified of labour. Maybe your sister's c-section is "fine", but only time will tell.
 
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