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<p><span>I came up with an agreement yesterday with Rob (my proposal, he is surprised and agreed to it right away. It works for me. He is safe around DS11 if DS is home after school before my 18 yr old gets home. Knows my animals. Has a house key to my house. Knows the projects (because he lived there with me for 2.5 yrs). Knows where the tools are... etc.)  This way the minivan issue is dealt with. I know that the value of this work is more than $3,000 so I am going to be coming out ahead and I need to get the work done in order to list for the end of the month and he needs money. I do not have the time, energy or skill to get this all done in 3 weeks and he has nothing going on during the day for the next 2 weeks. He teaches a few hours in the evening during the week and this is it. This way I give him $1,500 cash and he does the entire amount of work and the remaining value goes towards paying off the minivan. I would have paid $3,000-$4,000 cash to have someone else do it.</span></p>
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<p><span>I know that I would have not been able to get any reliable money out of him for the van.</span><br><span> </span></p>
<p><span>Yes, I am giving him cash.</span></p>
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<p><span>I also know that he is in some pretty dire financial straits right now and I don't want him to wind up homeless. I would pay someone to do the work anyways and this way I have someone in the house who is good around my DS in case Dylan comes home from school when he there. (Dylan gets home from school at 2:45, DD18 gets home from school at 4.)  Rob knows my dogs and cats, knows the entire house (obviously) and is a real work horse when you put him in motion.</span></p>
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<p><span>Basically, if I give him a list of jobs to get done he will work his ass off, head down and get them done. It is an advantange. The thing is, he has been a dance teacher for 17 yrs and not really working otherwise and in this job market you have to keep current or you really can't get a job. He is going to wind up at Tim Hortons or something. I know that he oculd find something like that if he tried, he is having anxiety about job search/ interviews.</span></p>
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<p><span>This way works for me, I can sleep at night and i have someone right away who is doing the work, not going to rip me off and will do it during the day while I am at work.</span></p>
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<p><span>He was so surprised when I sat him down with a written out list, said HERE is what I need done, can you do these things? (he said yes, I knew he would). I said I will pay you in this manner, he was shocked and agreed. I know that I am paying him cash, but he needs some $, I need him to do this work. He had offered to do it before but if a cash paying job came up during he would have to do the cash job first obviously becuase he needs $. This way he is secured doing the job at my house and it works out well. I am totally ok with it. I would have paid much more to a contractor to have it done.</span></p>
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<p><span>The other thing is that he has told me he is going to do other things as he comes across them for no charge. It isn't like he is going to charge me for additional things. He told me that he is going to do whatever it takes to help me get the house ready to list and sell so that I can move in the summer. IE last night he was over and set up the kids new computer, printer, loaded all the software, antivirus, Office XP, etc on it and got it set up out of the bod for the kids. He will do other things as needed.</span></p>
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<p><span>I do not have the time to get this all done (working f/t M-F out of the house 7-5:30 every day and have a toddler to wrangle when I do get home) and I am exhausted. My house has been sick pretty much for 8 weeks straight and we are finally shaking it off! The real estate agent says if I want to move for August I need to list for the end of April. I have 3 weeks to get a lot done and I am working. There isn't enough time on the weekends and I am working on other things like packing, decluttering, staging, etc at night when I am home and it is too much.</span></p>
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<p><span>Agreed upon is this:</span></p>
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<p><span>$1,500 cash to him</span></p>
<p><span>$1,500 credit towards payment of the van (it will probably be all I ever get)</span></p>
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<p><br><span><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">The Agreement</span></span></span></span><br><span><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:small;">Finish painting basement and touch up upstairs<br>
Finish sanding and paint drywall downstairs<br>
Install remaining moldings in house<br>
Exterior yard clean up, clean out under deck stairs<br>
Bark mulch in beds<br>
Clean chandelier<br>
Pressure wash house & concrete<br>
Shampoo downstairs carpets (all)<br>
Shampoo deck carpets<br>
Prep garden for planting<br>
Set up irrigation after being closed for winter<br>
Weed and spray rockery area<br>
Wash exterior windows<br>
Weather proof garage windows<br>
Dump runs as needed in minivan<br>
Clean gutters<br>
Prep and paint deck, stairs *and house trim if possible*<br>
Driving lessons in van for Denise<br>
Help stage house and get things moved around/ set up as needed<br>
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Price $3,000<br>
$1,500 cash to Rob<br>
$1,500 credit towards minivan, call it done.<br>
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Rob starting today.<br>
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Andrea to pay costs for paint, renting carpet steamer, mulch etc.<br>
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Rob will be done in 2 weeks.</span></span></p>
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<p><span><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:small;">I feel better. I can live with this and it will get done and I can list the house at the end of the month.</span></span><br><span> </span></p>
 

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<p>oy. i want to be supportive so i really hope this works out. but instead of becoming less tangled up with his drama you are creating more and getting way too wrapped up in him. i know this makes you feel in control but i just feel like this is a really bad idea and he is very very likely to disappoint and frustrate you. i think in a way you are enabling him to continue not finding real steady work that will keep him from becoming homeless this is a patch. it won't change the long run of things.</p>
 
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<p>I don't know the backstory for the OP but if this helps HER get the house ready to sell then I say go for it.  I wouldn't pay until the job is done to my satisfaction.  (assuming 'rob' is an ex) .  I would also keep a copy of the contract that both parties signed, and take some pictures each night to show the progress, or lack thereof- again just in case you have issues later.</p>
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<p>Now if someone offered me basically 3k for 2 weeks worth of work I'd make like bees on honey, but then again- oh never mind.</p>
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<p>OP- as long as this agreement helps you move forward and gets you to a better place, go for it.</p>
 

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<p>I hope he completes the job to your satisfaction but I do agree that you are enabling him and catching him.  In all honesty- he needs to get a job and be paying YOU!  You are raising his child.( and paying for his other children to!)</p>
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<p>If you keep catching him- he will never grow up.  He has to face the consequences- and that may be being homeless.... I also do not like the idea of having him in your house while you are not there.  My xh got very weird after we split and this guy does not seem right either.</p>
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<p>I hope it works for you.  I am also trying to be supportive- but he is a bum and he does not deserve this much generosity and kindess at this point in the road.  I am also a giver and take care of people and help people- but I have learned the hard way that sometimes it just enables them to not try harder or do better for themselves.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Honestly I am desperate tp get this work done so I can list ghe house and sell before ghe market tanks more.<br><br>
I am so exhausted, I feel like I am over whelmed. And sad. And scared I am not going to sell the house.<br><br>
I am out of cheap options. And losing $60k on the house already...
 

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<p>I get your reasons- I just am praying it goes smoothly.</p>
 
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