[heamae]

So my dh brought it up today. I told him I didnt want to to talk about it bc we were just going to argue about it. I had already made the decision and that was that. We argued. I gave my points and he countered them but not very well. He brought up the fact that he never gets to make any of the decisions for the kids and he wants to make this one. I told him that he is making the biggest decision for his son, he is choosing his name. I would rather not have another Joe Jr. in the house but have agreed bc I know thats what he wants. I told him when our son meets someone they are going to know he is Joe, not whether or not he is cut or not. He brought up that his brother recently changed his name and so did his brothers wife, which just helped me make my point. Yes, a name can be changed but if he were to decide to cut his son that could not be changed!!! He finally said "ok, do what ever you want but if he comes to me and asks why dad is circ. and he isnt, he will tell him that mom made the decison and that dad is happy to be cut"
I told him I am fine with that I will gladly talk to him about it, if that day comes up. I made him promise that he will never bring is up or make him feel like a freak for being different. He agreed with that.
That makes me happy. I know he isnt happy but at least he isnt going to fight with me about it any more.
I think he has some slight thoughts that I dont like his penis bc its cut and I tried to reassure him that that is not the case and me wanting to leave our son intact didnt have anything to do with that. He will have to deal with those feelings himself though. There is nothing more I can do about that.

Thanks for all of your support!!!! My intact son will thank you!!

 

[MommytoB]

awesome news! Enjoy your baby moon when the lil guy arrives!

 

[apple_juice]

Yay! I am so happy for you. I read about your situation and I was feeling for you.

I am glad you have come to an agreement so you can now celebrate your pregnancy and your boy!

 

[robertandenith]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heamae So my dh brought it up today. I told him I didnt want to to talk about it bc we were just going to argue about it. I had already made the decision and that was that.

I wish moms can make decisions like these no matter what, you are a great warrior and thanks for standing up for your son!

:

:

:

Happy Pregnancy!

 

[latinalonestar]

: I'm so happy for you! You will always feel good about your decision to protect your son.

Make sure no one ever tries to retract your little boy and everyone in the family understands the proper care of the intact penis which is to leave it alone.

 

[Getz]

Sounds like the same kind of convo my DH and I had. Congrats on protecting your son!

 

[A&A]

Quote:

Originally Posted by latinalonestar : I'm so happy for you! You will always feel good about your decision to protect your son. Make sure no one ever tries to retract your little boy and everyone in the family understands the proper care of the intact penis which is to leave it alone.

:

 

[InDaPhunk]

That's so great to hear! Congratulations! Such a relief for you, I'm sure. I'm sorry it's causing problems for you and DH

.

Quote:

Originally Posted by heamae He finally said "ok, do what ever you want but if he comes to me and asks why dad is circ. and he isnt, he will tell him that mom made the decison and that dad is happy to be cut"

My DH says that if our DS ever asks him the question, "Why am I intact and you're not?" he'll tell him "Because your mother loves you". Emphasis on your. DH says it to be funny- as in his mother doesn't love him and that's why she had him circumcised, when she's a great mom and very clearly does love him (she's a great MIL, too), but that's just how things were in 1971. It's meant to be funny but it's sort of...not. It's sort of...sad. I'd be confused and conflicted and defensive about things, too, if somebody cut off some of my genitals

:. I'm honestly surprised more men don't go crazy mad from it. Hopefully, your DH will come around more. Dealing with it must be a rough process for them

. It makes me so sad for them but the most we can do is save our DS's from having to go through it, too. GL.

 

[1littlebit]

: good for you

your dh seems to have some serious intact resentment though... make sure he doesn't actually say that to your child.. he doesn't need to pass his issues to his son. besides your son won't ask why he is not circd... on the off chance he asks anything at all it will be 'daddy why is your penis missing a piece?"

 

[1littlebit]

Quote:

Originally Posted by InDaPhunk That's so great to hear! Congratulations! Such a relief for you, I'm sure. I'm sorry it's causing problems for you and DH . My DH says that if our DS ever asks him the question, "Why am I intact and you're not?" he'll tell him "Because your mother loves you". Emphasis on your. DH says it to be funny- as in his mother doesn't love him and that's why she had him circumcised, when she's a great mom and very clearly does love him (she's a great MIL, too), but that's just how things were in 1971. It's meant to be funny but it's sort of...not. It's sort of...sad. I'd be confused and conflicted and defensive about things, too, if somebody cut off some of my genitals :. I'm honestly surprised more men don't go crazy mad from it. Hopefully, your DH will come around more. Dealing with it must be a rough process for them . It makes me so sad for them but the most we can do is save our DS's from having to go through it, too. GL.

some men have a harder time then others. dp was like theres no benefit? k then we aren't doing it.

but then he'll fight people tooth and nail not to pierce girls ears too. this from the guy who barely speaks

 

[Microsoap]

You can also tell him that IF he's unhappy being left intact, you'll agree to pay for his adult circumcision when he turns 18.

And to all the intact boys who learn what circumcision involves and say "I'm glad that never happened to me!", he'll have his mom to thank!

It cuts both ways!

:

 

[mtchen79]

That's great news, congrats to you and your intact son. Even if your DH may still disagree internally, I'm glad that you came to an agreeable resolution that it won't be discussed unfavorably in front of your son. Your son will admire you for advocating for him.

 

[njeb]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtchen79 That's great news, congrats to you and your intact son. Even if your DH may still disagree internally, I'm glad that you came to an agreeable resolution that it won't be discussed unfavorably in front of your son. Your son will admire you for advocating for him.

:
Congratulations on protecting your son!